Not the Same Story
by BecauseIWrite88
Summary: This is a post revival story, please do not read if you have not seen the Revival Episodes. This is what I wish would happen. The early chapters are short but it gets better. I hope you enjoy! Gilmore Girls and all of their characters are the sole property of Amy Sherman Palladino and I have no rights to them.
1. Chapter 1

Prologue

Rory looked at him from across the altar. He was her Luke she thought. Her soul mate, her perfect fit. The little girl holding both her and his hand was proof of that. She smiled at him, radiant in her off white dress. Family and friends looked on, proud to be a part of such a momentous day. Rory could hardly believe she was here.

It seemed like an eternity ago that she had been on these same steps at Lorelai's wedding, the real one, the night before the party. But it was only four years ago and when she had told her mom the news, she felt like being happy with the man of her dreams was a dream she would give up to be a mom.

As she said "I do", and he said "I do" and the little girl also said "I do" when asked if she would accept him as her Daddy, Rory smiled a sad smile at her 32 year old self. _If she only knew the happiness that was in store for her_ Rory thought. She would have had a much different perspective. As she stood to face her guests and was introduced as the new Mrs., Rory started down the steps of the gazebo and her memory faded into the night she told her mom."Mom"

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Chapter 1 - Rory

"Yeah"

"I'm Pregnant"

Rory looked at her mother with fear in her eyes, but the joy she saw in her mother's gaze said everything. It was going to be ok. She didn't know how, but it was going to be ok.

"Logan?"

"Yup!"

Rory watched Lorelai ponder her as a smile slowly creeps across her face.

"Mom, you are scaring me with that smile."

Lorelei pulled Rory into a hug

"I am happy Rory. You are going to have a baby. And I get to be a grandmother." Lorelei pulled back and looked Rory in the eye.

"You are not freaking out, you not freaking out is starting to freak me out because I just told you I am pregnant. I am not married, the baby's father is engaged to someone else, I have no plans to marry him and I am having a baby and you are not freaking out." Rory rambled when she was nervous. Her usual bearing lost in a tirade of stream of consciousness that flowed like a roaring rapid that only her mother could follow.

"I am happy because the first thought through my head when you told me was NOT the freak out like I had that night of that dance when you and Dean fell asleep. I am not my mother. Sometimes, no matter how much I tell myself I am different, I fear I will turn into my mother. But I am not. I am not Emily Gilmore. My unmarried daughter just told me she is pregnant and instead of instinctively pulling an Emily Gilmore, I am happy. For you, for me, for us, our family is growing and I am happy."

Hearing her mom share with her her thoughts and why she was happy calmed Rory. Her outburst was over and she was able to return to a civilized tone.

"Thank you Mom. I was actually thinking about that night of the dance when I thought of how I was going to tell you. I know I am 32 years old and not 16. But the idea of having to say that out loud to you made me feel 16 again."

"Yeah it was a kind of Freaky Friday moment there. But it will all be ok. We have 9 months to figure it out. We have 9 months right?"

"More like eight, but a while."

"It will be enough"


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 - Rory

The day of Luke and Lorelai's wedding dawned in a beautiful array of autumnal bliss. It was the perfect event. Unlike the catastrophes that had marred their previous attempts at matrimony, the day was amazing. The town was at it zenith in charm and charisma. Kirk had somehow turned the town square into an almost Wonderland. Rory watched on as her mom and Luke promised to love each other "until death do us part."

These words impacted her immensely. She thought of the conversation she had had with her mother about her getting married and realized that the commitment she needed to focus on was the child on its way. Her mother had changed her life drastically to give her the life she deserved. She felt the tug on her heart that told her that the same feeling was growing in her.

She smiled as Reverend Skinner introduced Mr. and Mrs. Luke Danes to the audience and laughed out loud as her mother shot the Reverend a killer look. Apparently, Lorelei had forgotten about that part of the ceremony.

Luke and Lorelai walked down the aisle through their guests. The people who were the most important in their lives. Rory looked on with envy. Hoping that one day that life would be hers. Married to the man of her dreams. Doing what she loved. Surrounded by loved ones. As she thought these profound thoughts she glanced up. Staring at her from across the aisle standing as Luke's best man was Jess. He was staring at her with a look she hadn't seen in his eyes in many years. A look she had seen on his face the first day she met him in Stars Hollow, almost sixteen years ago.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 - Rory

As quickly as she caught the look it disappeared into a humorous smirk, also a common facial expression of Jess's. One that was slightly mocking, yet full of intelligence. Rory's face bloomed with color as she mentally acknowledged him.

Blushing, she thought to herself. She was blushing, like a school girl. There were some things about Jess that always made her feel like she was a perpetual teenager.

Rory realized she was staring a little too long. She also noted that he was smirking at her because she was supposed to be walking toward him to follow her mom and Luke back down the aisle. She slightly nodded her head in acknowledgement and began walking toward Jess. When they met in the middle she tucked her arm through his elbow. It was a common practice, threading your arm through your partner's during a wedding. What she was pretty sure was not common was the jolt she felt when her arm came in contact with his.

She remembered how it felt with him and how their physical attraction had never been the problem. From day one, she had felt drawn to him.

"So they finally did it?" Jess's voice suddenly woke her from her mental aerobics.

Her mind tried to match what he said with its context. Her first stop, based on her feelings a second before were bordering on slightly R rated, she didn't think that was what he meant.

"Did what?" Stupid, stupid Rory, she thought to herself mentally chastising her ineptitude. Suddenly two and two made four and she quickly corrected.

"Oh, got married, yeah, they finally did it." Put that Yale education to good use why don't you she scolded.

Rory marveled at her level of discomfort. She hadn't felt uncomfortable with Jess for years. Sure she only saw him every once and again. But they had gotten to a good place after that bad situation at Truncheon all those years ago.

Seeing him was inevitable and so they had managed to make their, almost step-cousins, kind of… thing work. He had encouraged her to write her book, and he had been right. It was a great idea. He had always known her well and been able to tell when things were off. Oh' crap, he can tell when things are wrong, Rory realized. She also realized that he would probably only be in town a few more days at the most and she would just have to fake it until then. She didn't want Jess knowing about this baby before she figured it all out for herself.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4 - Jess

Jess stared at Rory standing on the other side of the altar. She was dressed in a teal sheath like dress, and in standard Rory fashion, she looked amazing. Of course, Jess thought, to him she always looked amazing. She looked amazing yesterday putting that cloth on Kirk's head. There was not a time he could think of that she looked less than amazing. Never mind, he could think of a time. When she was on the arm of the blonde dick at Yale, she didn't look quite as breathtaking, just gorgeous. Jess wondered why his thoughts went to Logan. He hadn't thought of him in many years.

Jess was lost in his thoughts staring at Rory so he didn't immediately notice when she looked up at him. Usually, he was able to school his thoughts and facial expression to avoid giving anything away around her. Around most people if he was honest with himself. But it was more purposeful with her. She had made her choices and he had made his. Since being in contact with each other was inevitable based on the relationship of Luke and Lorelai over the years they had regained a little of the friendship they had before. Before, their relationship had been romantic first and friendship second. Then it became friendship with romantic undertones. Neither of those worked for either of them. It became obvious to him that in order for them to have a friendship at all, any romantic feelings had to be taken off the table.

When Jess finally noticed that Rory was looking back at him he quickly schooled his face to reflect his default setting, mocking humor. He was quick witted enough to know that in two-seconds flat, he could find something to make fun of. He quickly realized that they were a little delayed on following Luke and Lorelai out of the ceremony. He raised a questioning eyebrow at Rory covering his tracks with his customary attitude.

Rory met him in the middle and slipped her arm through his. Electricity shot up his arm, through his body and into his heart. Yup, he thought, it's still there. The physical attraction that was impossible to hide. The reason that when he saw her at the Gazette a few weeks ago he took a seat before she could get up and hug him. The reason he avoided being alone with her at all costs. The reason that although they were practically related, he hadn't come home for four years at the same time as her. She was the ONE. But he wasn't her ONE. He knew her so well. He needed to break the tension of their contact so he quickly said the first thing that came to mind.

"So they finally did it?" The words hung in the air for what seemed like an infinity before she answered.

"Did what?"

He looked at her confused and came to the conclusion that she must have been lost in her own thoughts because she obviously had no idea what he was talking about.

"Oh, got married, yeah, they finally did it." Rory stumbled through her words like she was grasping for meaning in what she said.

Jess could tell she was uncomfortable. He wondered why. Luke and Lorelai getting married was a wonderful thing, years in the making. It was a happily ever after, meant to be story that everyone should be lucky enough to live. He was glad his uncle's fears of Lorelai leaving him had been unfounded. His uncle was a great guy who deserved to live his dream and his dream was a Gilmore Girl. Luke had won the heart of his.

Jess's thoughts returned to the other Gilmore Girl. She seemed more pensive than usual. That was saying something considering it was Rory. He wondered what was up with her and he wondered how much trouble he could get himself into if he tried to find out. He had kept his distance over the years on purpose, keeping his heart safe. But she was home again and something told him that maybe after so many years, this could be their time. His hopes rose slightly. Could it be? Could he win the heart of the other Gilmore Girl?


	5. Chapter 5

A/N Thank you to everyone who is reading this story and following it. Like most of you, I am sure, it is difficult to be left with such a cliffhanger. I had the awesome experience of watching this show in it original airing, then again on box set DVD, and then on Netflix. I have read many of the fan fiction stories out there and this is the first time I have felt compelled to write my own. I hope you are enjoying and if you are please review. I welcome your comments and critiques. Also, if I miss some typos of make errors in show content please let me know. I try and look things up to double check my memory but I know I am not perfect. Thanks in advance and I look forward to taking this journey with you. Once again, the characters are not mine and the Gilmore Girls is the creative property of Amy Sherman Palladino and Dan Palladino, Netflix, Warner Brothers, and whoever else owns rights to Gilmore Girls.

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Chapter 5 - Jess

Jess shook his head to clear his thoughts. Win the heart of the girl, what was he thinking. He had tried that. He had come to see her, he had shared his successes and she had stayed with the blonde. He needed to do what he had always done. Steer clear of this particular addiction. Obviously, touching her and being to close to her screwed with his head.

His head had been spinning since yesterday when she had come running out of the house screaming his name. His heart had started pounding in his chest and her enthusiasm was hard to deny. He had fought hard to not pull her into a tight hug when she had grabbed his jacket in her excitement. He kept his distance and only let his feelings show when he knew she wouldn't notice.

As they separated at the end of the aisle he attempted to break away and head in the other direction he needed to breathe non-Rory scented air. But she put her other hand on his hand to prevent him from leaving. He looked at her questioningly. Why say anything when a look would do. She looked up at him and her eyes darted to the right where her mother was motioning them to join her for pictures. It looked like Emily Gilmore had struck again.

Jess had asked his uncle about a photographer cause he knew one they could use and Luke had said that Lorelai wanted it to be simple with just candid pictures people took with their phones. However, he could see a professional photographer being directed by Emily to take pictures of the Bride and Groom. Lorelai had a look of panic on her face as she gave Rory a look in a language only the two of them spoke. Based on Rory's reaction it meant "you and Jess, get over here, quick!" Based on what Jess knew of Lorelai and Emily's relationship it probably also meant "Save Me!"

Rory seemed oblivious to the contact as she rushed to her mothers aid. Jess couldn't help himself so he placed his hand over Rory's trapping it between his two hands. The softness of her skin and the contact between them felt so familiar. It was over far too quickly as they arrived like the calvary and Rory snatched back her hand and arm to become the buffer between Emily and Lorelai.

The pictures were taken quickly, there were a few he thought he might like to see later. Pictures where he and Rory were both there. They had never taken pictures, so he didn't have any of them together. There were very few remnants of their relationship, but who needed things when there was a sink hole a mile wide in your heart from a girl you couldn't quit. He thought it might be a nice memento to have something showing the both of them, even if it was with Luke and Lorelai too, and then he checked his thoughts. Once again the cheesiness was taking over. He mentally shook himself. He really needed to get out of this town. It, and the girl made him think things and feel things that were better left in his past.

The rest of the wedding proceed as expected. An hour in, people started getting a little whacked on the Miss Patty's punch and the party amped up. Jess decided that was his cue. He did not want to leave without saying good bye so he decided to hole up and read. He loved books, physical books. However, in situations like this where it would not be easy to carry a book, he was thankful for e-readers and the ability to have a book in the same place a person would carry a phone. He wasn't the biggest fan of phones either, but it was well into the twenty-first century and no one had a home phone. Running his own business also required he be reachable, so he had decided a few years back to get a phone. Kirk had designed the town square in such a way that there were hiding spaces everywhere. Jess settled down into a quiet corner on the edge of the square and started to read. He had been at it for a while when he heard a voice.

"Don't you want some punch? You love Founder's Day punch."

The voice sounded familiar to Jess but he couldn't quite place it.

"No thanks, I really shouldn't have any."

He knew that voice, it was Rory. That meant that the other voice was Lane. He knew he recognized it. He wondered what she and Lane were doing this far out on the outskirts of the party.

"Alright then, spill, why did you drag me all the way out here to the far edge of the party. Zach is going to think I went home."

"Zach is not going to think you left him at the party alone, especially after you sent the twins home with your mom once it got dark."

"You are right, but he is going to notice I am not around, especially when we have to play another set in twenty minutes."

Jess could hear Rory take a deep breath, he wondered what news she had that was so important, but also felt guilty about overhearing what was obviously a private conversation that she wanted to keep private, or she wouldn't have come all this way.

"Lane, I'm pregnant."

Jess almost choked, the only think that kept him from having a fit right there was the fear of being discovered. Especially now after he had overheard her news. Rory? Pregnant? When, how, by who? The Pete guy she made a note to break up with? Or did she say Paul?

"Pregnant? How? Well I mean I know how. But how? You haven't been seeing anyone, or… wait… No, it can't be, you haven't gone back."

Gone back where? He wondered what Lane knew that he didn't. Obviously a lot because she had an idea of who the father was.

" Remember that day I came over because mom was upset about my book idea and we had argued and I kept trying to call him?"

"Yes, but it's still almost a seven hour flight. You went back after that? How did I not know?"

A million questions were flying through Jess's head. He knew that Rory had been working off and on in London and that it was about seven hours to fly there. Did Rory have a boyfriend in London that he didn't know about. Luke had never mentioned anything.

"No, I didn't go there, he was all worried cause I kept calling and hanging up, and after that short talk we had and I hung up, he didn't like the way we left things. So a few nights later, I was at the Gazette and he and a couple of the guys showed up here. In Stars Hollow. We went all over town doing silly things and then we ended up in a night club, a Tango club to be exact. Robert bought the club cause he didn't like the Tango. But I digress, we ended up in a B&B in New Hampshire where they had rented the whole place."

"And you spent the night with him?"

"Yes, we spent the night together, and I told myself it was the last night, cause it wasn't going to change his situation. He is still going to do what his family wants him to and I don't have the right to tell him not to. It's not like I can. I lost that right when I told him no. And so it was the last night. I told him we were done and that I couldn't anymore."

He could hear the tears in Rory's voice. Who was this guy, he sounded like a rich dick. Jess thought of the blonde dick at Yale. No, it couldn't be him. But she hadn't said his name. And he had money and power and friends who could buy clubs cause they didn't like the Tango. Could it be? No, he told himself, no way, that guy was not good enough for her and that relationship ended nine years ago.

"And I meant it. I was done. And now, how can I be done if I am going to have his baby? How can I be done if I have to call and tell him that he is going to be a dad and not by the woman he is going to marry?"

Jess's mind was spinning, the father was marrying someone else and Rory knew and was with him anyway? All this didn't make sense. He knew there had to be more to the story than what it sounded like. But the pain of what she was saying was tearing at his heart. Rory was going to be a mom. No wonder she looked so preoccupied and pensive. No wonder he knew something was going on with her. He could always tell when it was about something else. The times he was clueless was when it related to him. The girls had started talking again, but he was so caught up in his thoughts he missed some of the conversation.

"…if you tell him."

"His father would kill him, and at the end of the day Mitchum will rule what he does. He isn't going to risk a marriage with French royalty."

"Wow, Rory, you a mom! Wow! I am happy for you, I am, and Lorelai? How did she take it? Have you told her? I'm assuming you made up."

"Yes, and she was amazing. She said she felt joy at the idea of being a grandmother and that we could do this whether I tell him or not. And that she is not Emily Gilmore and that this will not be the same story she lived. I was surprised she took it so well."

"I'm not, she went through worse. She was sixteen. Do you think she would leave you alone like that. You are not Stevie Nicks and Lindsey Buckingham. You cannot break up the band. Although they did get back together, but it was never the same…"

"No Lane, we are not Fleetwood Mac. And it seemed to take a lot less when I dropped out of Yale. That's why Luke and mom put off the wedding the first time, cause we were not talking, you know that. And look how long it took them to get back here. That's why I waited til after they said their vows to tell her. I couldn't do that to them again."

"But you went back to Yale, Jess got you to go back and April was a big part of that whole thing too. You were not the only part of the equation. Luke had his stuff too."

Jess was surprised to hear his name come up. He had been away for most of that time. He didn't remember all that had happened and led up to the first wedding being called off. He did remember his cousin and meeting her. It was amazing how fast time passed. She was in middle school and now she was at MIT.

"You don't even know Lane, Jess is why I am writing this book!"

"Jess? You guys are talking again?"

"He just showed up out of the blue at the Gazette, and I was upset and he could tell, you know he can always tell. So we got to talking about how things with journalism are sucking. Then he said I should write a book, mom's and my story. And it made so much sense. You can't imagine how it is Lane, the words are just pouring out of me. And he knew. He always seems to know just what to say to get me moving in the right direction again. Like at Yale. He is a great guy, a great friend. That's why I am trying to avoid him until he goes home. He will know something is wrong. I need to figure this out before I tell anyone."

Their voices started to fade away, Jess could hear them heading back toward the party. He knew something was going on with Rory. And now he knew what it was. He thought of her situation. Pregnant by a guy who was going to marry someone else. It didn't sound like she was in love with this guy. If she was she would be fighting for him instead of playing second fiddle to some rich chick. He wondered who he was and who she had met along her path. And he knew he had to figure out a way to let her know that he was there for her and would help her. Because even though he knew he wasn't the guy for her, he was going to be her friend no matter what. And right now, she needed all the friends she could get. Lorelai was right, this was not going to be the same story, cause Rory would not be alone.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N I think I like this format and am going to keep the story going from Lorelai, Rory and Jess's point of view. What do you all think? Should I label the chapters with the Character name? Let me know in the reviews. Thanks. EC

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Chapter 6 - Lorelai

Flash mobs, Founder's Punch, Free Spirits, Fairy Tale. These were the words Lorelai would have used to describe her wedding. What she hadn't anticipated was the word grandma. Of course, she wasn't quite a grandmother yet. But still, it was coming. Getting her mind around Rory's situation distracted her throughout the day.

"Everything ok?" Luke sounded concerned as he asked her for the tenth time that day.

"Yeah, it all good, peachy keen, great." Overkill Lorelai, she thought. She needed to find the right moment to tell Luke. Knowing him he would want to fly to London to confront Logan. She needed to remind him that Rory was grown. She wasn't a little girl anymore who needed her honor protected.

Lorelai wondered what Rory was thinking about doing about Logan. He had wanted to marry her once. But he was engaged to another woman. Would it matter. Would Rory marry Logan and move to London? It was this and many other thoughts that kept Lorelai's mind occupied as she made her way amongst her guests. She and Luke were married and because of that she was happy. Beyond happy. But she was glad that had happened for real the night before because she wasn't sure if she could have handled it all today.

Lorelai lay in her bed that night with her husband next to her. She got a little giddy at the thought, her husband. Her mind once again went back to Rory. It hadn't strayed far from the subject all day. She had to tell Luke. But she needed to talk to Rory first. Rory was staying at Lanes to give the newlyweds the house to themselves for the night. Lorelai picked up her phone.

 _To: Rory_

 _Can I tell Luke?_

 _To:Mom_

 _Might as well. It's your wedding night, shouldn't u be doing something dirty and not texting me?_

 _To:Rory_

 _After the bomb u dropped last night? U were the one doing the dirty._

 _To:Mom_

 _Ok, this conversation is getting inappropriate, even for us. Tell Luke, but make sure he doesn't jump on a plane to London. I am still not sure what I am going to do._

 _To:Rory_

 _Alright kid. You know I love u right?_

 _To: Mom_

 _Yeah Mom, I know, I love u too. GN._

Lorelai rolled over to Luke who was looking at a fishing magazine.

"Luke, I have something important to tell you and you can't freak out. Actually I have two things to tell you. Do you want the good news or bad?"

Luke folded his magazine and put it in his lap.

"You want to annul the marriage and break up after all."

Lorelai looked at him incredulously. She knew that after all they had been through and how long it had taken them to seal the deal, he would worry for awhile. It was ok. She wasn't going anywhere.

"Nope, you broke it you bought it," her mocking tone of Mrs. Kim's common moniker put a smile on Luke's face.

"Bad news first."

"We are going to have to spend two weeks a summer and a week at Christmas in Nantucket with my mother."

Luke started to sputter

"But… she is trying to buy us a house on a second property and she is going to stop hounding you to expand Luke's and is going to give me the money from the trust to expand the DragonFly so Michele doesn't have to leave and he can have his spa."

Lorelai saw the look of confusion cross Luke's face, the processing, the puzzling and finally the comprehension. It was nice to have a man who could keep up she realized for the hundredth time. He wasn't Rory, but no one was. Her and Rory could practically read each others thoughts.

And then it dawned on her. She whispered to herself forgetting she was in the middle of a conversation with Luke.

"Rory went to see her dad. Why did she go? It was about Logan, she is realizing that Christopher and Logan are the same."

The thought his her like a ton of bricks. She isn't going to tell him. She didn't need Christopher why would this baby need Logan.

Luke's words brought her attention back to the present.

"Rory went to see Christopher? Logan is Christopher? What's going on Lorelai?"

"That's the good news. Rory is pregnant."


	7. Chapter 7

A/N I added a prologue to the first chapter if you want to go and take a look. The story is developing in my head as I go, so things may change. I will let you know if anything substantial changes. Otherwise I may just update spelling or grammar errors as I am made aware of them. Thanks for reading.

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Chapter 7 - Rory

Rory wasn't at Lanes when she got her mom's text. She was sitting at a table at the Secret Bar. She had a sparkling water in front of her and was contemplating her situation. She had grabbed a table in the darkest corner she could find. She couldn't go to her room to think and Lane's place had a bed but little privacy. She took a notepad out of her purse and started to write. Pros and cons. Her customary way to make big decisions. Having the baby was the only thing she was sure of. She would have this baby. She already knew she loved it, no matter how small it was at the moment, she knew it would be the best part of her life. She put her hand on her stomach as she wrote.

 _ **Pros of telling Logan**_

 _ **Financial Support**_

 _ **He might want to get married**_

 _ **We are not kids anymore**_

 _ **Logan**_

 _ **Baby will know its Dad**_

She ran out of ideas for the Pros. She started on the Cons list.

 _ **Cons of telling Logan**_

 _ **The strings that come with Financial Support**_

 _ **He might want to get married**_

 _ **Baby will be a Huntzberger**_

 _ **Logan is Christopher?**_

 _ **I will be settling for a relationship I don't think will last**_

 _ **Baby will be tied to Huntzberger Family**_

 _ **Custody battles**_

 _ **Baby will be a Hunztberger**_

 _ **Baby wont know its dad (will it matter?)**_

Rory realized she was writing the same thing numerous times. And at the root of the situation with Logan was always that he was a Huntzberger. She had loved him, in a way she still did. But she did not love the name, the family, the money. Logan had been the draw. But by being his side thing while he was engaged confirmed to her that she was just letting him turn more and more into his father. How many rumors had gone around the social circles of the many dalliances of Mitchum Huntzberger. And now she was a dalliance. He wasn't marrying Odette, because he was head over heels for her, but rather because it suited the family. How Odette felt about him Rory didn't know. However, it sounded like another high society marriage where both parties did as they pleased and made little blue blood babies and lived their affairs discreetly so as to not embarrass the family. Rory did not want to be a part of that and she knew even nine years ago when Logan proposed that her life would end up like that or in divorce. Now she was on the other side. She was the side piece and she realized just how low she had let herself fall.

Rory didn't hear him sit down. She was staring at her list with such intensity that she had tuned out the world. He picked up her drink and took a swig and almost choked.

"Sparkling water? Really? For as hard as you are thinking right now, I would have imagined the need for something stronger, like the whiskey you gave me at the Gazette."

Rory looked up when he started talking and just stared. She was trying to get out of the depth of her thoughts long enough to process. For as quick as she was almost all the time something about him just always seemed to unsettle her just enough to knock her off her game. She didn't want to answer her question outright so she changed the subject.

"Jess, what are you doing here? Thought you were heading back home as soon as possible to get out of this crazy town."

Rory quickly closed her notebook and looked at Jess intently waiting for an answer. She knew she didn't want him finding out about her and the longer he stayed in town the more likely it was to happen.

"I'm staying on a few more days than expected. Luke and Lorelai have a honeymoon to go on and Luke was relying on Cesar, but he had a family emergency so he won't be available full time for the next week. So it was either ask Liz and TJ or me, I think I barely won out."

Rory laughed at his self depreciation. She knew he could do well at whatever he put his mind too. It felt good to be able to laugh and smile with him. Well, she thought, a few more days, I will have to keep it under wraps for at least that long.

"So what's the list for. A famous Rory Gilmore Pro/Con list?"

Rory got a little nervous as she quickly searched for an appropriate response.

"Just trying to decide if I should keep trying to travel and do freelance while I work on the book or focus solely on the book and stay put for a while."

"Stay… Focus… you are at your best when you devote 100% to something. Besides you have the Gazette. If you leave they'll shut it down."

Rory really had no intention of leaving the town or the Gazette but she needed to tell Jess something. She didn't know why she was so intent on hiding this from Jess. Maybe because she knew he would ask the question. Who is the father? She knew she wasn't ready to talk about that until she had her decision made and her plan clear.

"You have a point Jess, maybe I can turn that little paper into something while I finish my book. I will be the Charles Henry Taylor of the Stars Hollow Gazette"

She thought to herself that she would just need to avoid Luke's for the next week and then she would tell him the next time he came to town, by then she was sure it would be indisputable. She considered asking Luke to tell him before he came the next time so that she could avoid it all together.

Jess stared at her in an unconcerning way. It lacked its customary scoff and seemed extremely sincere.

"You sure you are ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, why?"

"Nothing, just know if you need something, I will be right here at Luke's for a bit, but after, I am just a phone call away. If we were ever anything, it was great friends."

With that statement he got up from his seat and left.

Rory pondered his words. It was true, he had always been a great friend. A bad boyfriend, but a great friend. She thought of the ways he had protected her and saved her from herself, from her seriousness, from making stupid mistakes. She felt bad about hiding this from him. But pictures of him and Logan in their various confrontations and the judgement Jess had of her about her relationship with Logan made her feel that this information was a little too fragile to give to him yet. When she knew what her plan was, she could defend her actions. Until then, she would guard her little secret.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N Completely revamped Chapter 1 again. Same content. Different POV. As I write I am finding that I am not completely in love with everything that came before. So I will let you know if it happens again. I decided to focus on the Jess, Rory POV, but every once in awhile I will throw a little Lorelai in there to move things along. I hope you are enjoying it so far.

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Chapter 8 - Jess

As Jess walked the streets of Stars Hollow back toward the diner he contemplated the conversation he had just had with Rory. Or lack of conversation might be a better way to put it. She was being dodgy and he knew it and he could tell she knew he knew it. Jess also knew what Rory's Pro/Con list was for. Even if he hadn't seen the title at he top before she quickly closed it. He could tell based on her behavior. He didn't read the whole top line, he saw the word Pros and knew that she had to make an important decision, to tell the father, or to not tell the father, whomever that might be. He wondered if the list would lead him to the identity of the father. But he would rather Rory told him herself than trying to sneak a peak at her notebook.

He had hoped to budge her a little with the comment about the sparkling water instead of whiskey, but she had skillfully side stepped the question. He had to find a way to convince her that he was worth her confidence. He wanted to be there for her. He just didn't know if he could put himself on the line for her again by telling her that he had overheard her talking to Lane and have her shut him down when he tried to offer support. He felt the better option was to let her come to him. But in order to do that he had to find a way to win back the trust that had been lost between them. He had a week to do it.

He wasn't sure how it had happened but he was just grateful it gave him a great excuse to stay in town. Luke had called him asking him to stay and help out Cesar with this crazy story about Cesar's family. But Jess didn't believe a word of it. It sounded fabricated. He suspected that Luke knew about Rory and that he didn't want her left alone while he and Lorelai were on their honeymoon. He doubted Lorelai had any great appreciation for the fact that he was the one who would stay. But Jess figured that despite all of Lorelai's misgivings about him, she had to at least know that he cared about Rory. And since Rory was choosing not to share her situation with anyone else at this point he was sure that her options were limited. Of course this was all supposition. Maybe Cesar really did have family issues. Either way, it was a reason to stay in town and an opportunity to try and rebuild a little of what was broken between them. It had been too many years and too many wasted opportunities.

Jess unlocked the door and entered the apartment above Luke's. He had been staying on Liz's couch but he knew he couldn't handle it for an entire week. The apartment was filled with boxes, his old room had been completely filled in as a storage area. All that remained in the space that was reminiscent of the apartment it had been was Luke's old bed, the bathroom and the small kitchen table where Luke would have a quick lunch sometimes. But it was private and quiet and that was what Jess needed most. He set his bag down and looked around. Memories were a bitch he thought to himself. This place held so many, some of them pleasant, most of them pleasant in retrospect. But not to a seventeen year old boy who was trying to figure things out. And here he was, still trying.

Memories of his uncle forcing him to quit smoking even if it didn't stick till years later. His uncle building him a space all his own. He remembered him handing him the sledge hammer to put the hole in the wall. He remembered the couch that used to be in the middle of the apartment against the wall where he and Rory had spent countless hours being interrupted by Luke and his system. He laughed out loud at the memory. Quite a memory. He had been in this apartment so few times since Luke and Lorelai got together and Luke moved into her house that he had forgotten all of the memories it held. In reality it was his only true home. It was the place he could always come back to where he would be welcome. It seemed odd that a little apartment he had lived in for less than two years was the most permanent home he knew as a child. He had a place now, but it was just a place. There was no Uncle Luke waiting to make sure he was ok, or fed, or not impregnating his girlfriend. It was not a home. Home was oddly Stars Hollow, though if anyone asked he would deny it. It was where his Uncle was, his little sister Doula, his mom kind of and of course it was where the Gilmore Girls kept their permanent residence. It called him and he answered.

He pulled his laptop and his phone out of his bag, his chargers and his book. This was all he needed for the night. He sat at his laptop and started to write. He was inspired. The book he was working on was about a guy a girl and the lengths he would go through to win her. All the stuff he had thought to do to win his girl, but could never find the courage to really do because unlike a book, he couldn't control the results. His phone lit up. He had a text.

 _To: Jess_

 _Hey Baby, when will u be home tonite? I have been waiting to hear from u._

 _To: Paige_

 _Not coming back till next week. Got tied up at my Uncles_

 _To: Jess_

 _Awe! Miss u!_

 _To: Paige_

 _Text u when I get to town_

He got up from his laptop irritated at the interruption. Paige had the knack of always being there at the wrong time. She texted, called, showed up always at the most inopportune moment. He felt bad, because he knew he should just tell her to go on her way. But she was kind and undemanding of him and it didn't seem to bother her that he didn't commit. She wasn't his girlfriend. Just a girl he saw. Most of all she was convenient because he knew that the only girl for him was Rory. He could fill his life with women from all walks of life and none of them would compare. They would not have her hair or her laugh or her bright blue eyes, or her unmatched intelligence or quick wit, or they would not be as well read, or as savvy about pop culture. Rory was a girl who could hold a conversation on almost any topic. The only sure topic he could without a doubt exclude was sports, and if you gave her an hour she could probably hold a conversation on that if necessary.

When he was alone he gave himself the liberty to think these thoughts and when she was just a few miles away he couldn't help but think about all of the what ifs. When he was at home in Philly he pushed her far from his mind because otherwise the thinking alone would kill him. He had to focus on his life and spending time dwelling on Rory Gilmore was not a good use of time. But when he was in Stars Hollow, from the first night he arrived in town at seventeen until now, the only thing that was constant was her.

And now she was pregnant. Knowing Rory, she would keep the baby, no doubt. He sat there and thought of how in the world he was going to try and help her out if she didn't want to be helped. He had avoided being in the same place as her for so long to not feel, and now he was feeling everything. And now she needed someone more than she had ever needed anyone, but she just might be too stubborn to acknowledge it.

* * *

The next morning dawned finding Jess behind the counter at Luke's. The hours passed when he realized that Rory hadn't come in for her morning cup of coffee. She was avoiding him, he thought. He looked back to Cesar who had yet to leave for a "family thing" and told him he would be right back. Grabbing a to go cup with a bag of donuts he made his way to the Gazette offices. There she was in the window sitting at the desk working between the ancient computer on the desk and her laptop. These were the moments he liked most. The moments when he could watch her unobserved and he didn't have to hide his feelings. He didn't see the man standing across the street observing him.

He saw her body stiffen as if feeling the intensity of his stare. A second before she turned to look he gently tapped on the window. She turned and saw him. A look of surprise coupled with anxiety crossed her face quickly replaced by the Rory Gilmore trademark smile. He knew if he kept trying, he could break through those defenses. Make her let herself trust him again. He wasn't the same flighty youth from before, that was unreliable and ran every time a challenge presented itself. If he wanted Rory to trust him, he was going to have to prove to her that he was the man he had become.

He opened the door and walked in with his usual swagger. He set the cup of coffee and donuts on the desk and helped himself to the seat across from her as he had a few weeks ago. He noticed a small cup of coffee on the desk. It said DragonFly on it.

"Stopped by the inn this morning I see. So that's why you didn't stop in for your usual coffee. And here I thought you were trying to avoid me"


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9 - Rory

Rory felt like her back was on fire. She felt like someone was looking at her. She tried to keep working but the sensation continued. Right as she was about to turn around to make sure she wasn't just imagining things she heard a slight tap on the window. She turned and there was Jess. He was holding a cup of Luke's coffee and a bag she guessed held donuts.

 _So much for avoiding him._ So instead she smiled. It didn't take much, smiling at Jess was easy, sometimes too easy. He was one of the people she liked most In the world because he was always unashamedly him. The last few times she had seen him she had been so wrapped up in herself she had forgotten how easy it was to spend time with him. She was about to get up to let him in the door when he walked in and took the seat across from her. Just like he had before. He set the cup down and looked her straight in they eye and in true Jess fashion cut straight to the heart of the matter.

"Stopped by the inn this morning I see. So that's why you didn't stop in for your usual coffee. And here I thought you were trying to avoid me"

Rory recovered quickly, she knew she couldn't admit that she was avoiding him so she said the next thing to come to mind.

"I told mom I would stop by to check on things." Rory internally grimaced at the statement she had made. As if everyone didn't know that Michel was perfectly capable of running the place in Lorelai's absence. And the she moved on to the next dumbest thing she could have possibly uttered.

"Besides, I am trying to cut back on the coffee." _Rory you are an idiot. You might as well have told him you are pregnant and that you have tea in that cup._ Rory's smile stayed plastered on her face as her internal chastisement continued.

Of course Jess's eyebrow shot up at her declaration, anyone who knew Rory, knew within two-seconds of meeting her that coffee was as important to he body as blood. And Jess knew her a whole lot better than that. Yet oddly, he didn't comment, he just looked at her. His looks these days seemed so odd. He seemed to look at her with concern rather than the humor that usually encompassed their transactions. He reminded her of Luke when he did that. Luke had that look on his face regularly. It was a safe look, one of protection and care. A look she knew from others, but had never seen on Jess's face. And then it was gone and the donuts were being spread on napkins in front of her.

"So would you prefer tea? It's only a minute to run back to the diner and get you a cup."

"No, no, this is fine, I need at least a cup a day, I can't go cold turkey." She took a sip of the coffee reveling in the wonderful flavor. She knew it would be her only cup of the day, so it might as well be the best coffee there was. How did pregnant ladies get by without the coffee, she wondered as she took another savory sip.

"Well, I just stopped by cause you usually come in, and the donuts were going fast, I didn't want you to miss out. I brought your favorites; chocolate, cinnamon, and sprinkles."

"First off, how in the world do yo know my favorite donuts? And second, too bad it isn't Danish day. I could really use a cherry danish."

"Only a Gilmore would have three varieties of donuts in front of them and be thinking of what else to eat. But as to how I know, I worked in the diner you ate in daily. I notice things. Tomorrow is danish day, I will make sure to set aside one for you."

Rory's eyes lit up at Jess's commentary. He remembered what she liked to eat from all those years ago. That was sweet. Of course she remembered what he liked to read and the brand of cigarettes he smoked and the cologne he used. She imagined that those were the things that stuck in your memory from relationships.

"Just one" her tone was teasing as she challenged the one danish rule. Luke and his rules.

"How'bout I get myself one and you can have that one too. That way Cesar doesn't go telling Luke you broke his rule.

"I like that plan. So tomorrow, same place, same time and two cherry danishes." Rory beamed at Jess. She felt relaxed talking about food and remembering things about him. It was nice. She had missed this friendship thing they shared.

"So what are you writing?"

Rory had expected him to leave after making plans for danishes tomorrow but he seemed to want to settle in.

"Well, I am writing an article about the new branch of the DragonFly mom is planning to open in the Spring, I figure I can make it a column updating the progress as it goes. You know how the town is, they want every detail. It will take up some space for awhile. And while I am waiting for this super slow computer to do stuff, I am writing ideas and outlining chapters for the book on my laptop. Thus explaining why I have two computers going at a time."

"So why don't you type the story on the laptop and send it to the desktop?"

"Oh, that I could, but see the only kind of disk this computer takes is ancient floppy disks, not even the small floppy's. Plus the editing software doesn't recognize any modern word processing formats. So there is no way to get info from here (pointing at the laptop) to here (pointing at the desktop). So unless I want to reoutfit the entire Gazette in modern equipment, I have to make due."

"I see… so besides the computer updates needed, what else do you have in mind for the Gazette? Cause I imagine if you are planning a series on the Dragonfly that will last till Spring, you decided to stick around here till the book is done?"

Rory realized her error. She had told him she was planning on staying by talking about the series on the DragonFly. Keeping a secret was not easy. She tried to act very casual as she agreed.

"Pro/Con lists don't lie. That's how I ended up at Yale."

"You're right, I remember."

Jess was full of surprises today Rory contemplated as once again his face went from its tradition humorous scoff to a sincere grin at a shared memory. She didn't think this line of conversation was any safer than the one she had just tried to avoid.

"So, since you are going to be here for the week, any interest in lending your professional writing credentials to a small town paper?"

Rory went back to a safe subject. Work. She had been playing around with an idea for an article but didn't feel like she had the right voice for it. And since Esther, her file clerk had called Jess a hoodlum the last time he was in here, she realized he had the perfect voice for the article. Plus, the article would annoy Taylor, so she was hoping he would agree just for that purpose alone.

"I might be interested. Why don't you stop by the diner for dinner tonight and we can discuss it. You have to eat, and I will be there. Cause right now I need to head back."

Without waiting for her answer he jumped up from his chair and headed out the door. Gone as quickly as he had settled in. Rory laughed. She supposed that she would be eating dinner at the diner tonight. So like Jess, he didn't even ask. Rory bent her head back over her laptop and the dinosaur that still called itself a computer and got back to work. If she was lucky she would be able to finish the article about the DragonFly today. Back in work mode her wheels started turning on a way she might be able to raise money to get the Gazette some modern equipment. She wasn't sure how long she was going to be here, but if she wanted it to stay open when she left she needed to update things enough to entice a new editor.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N Plan on trying to post a chapter or two a day, depending on how fast the writing goes. Please leave comments on any ideas. I have the basic outline laid out but am always interested in opinions. Hope you enjoy. I always felt this discussion was necessary.

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Chapter 10 - Jess

Jess ran out of the Gazette as quickly as his legs would let him move. Once Rory gave him the opening to see her that evening he did not want to give her a chance to renege. He had already chastised himself enough over the dumb coffee. Who brings coffee to a pregnant lady, he grimaced at the idea. Of course it is a pregnant Gilmore, so there is room for deliberation. And she didn't know he knew, so bringing her tea or decaf would have just been odd.

As he turned the corner back toward the diner he ran into a tall figure. He looked up. There he stood, his old nemesis, Dean Forester. He backed up, not quite sure of what to say or what to do. He didn't need to worry. Dean spoke first.

"So you are still in love with her." Jess looked at Dean in confusion, he had said it as a statement rather that a question.

"I'm sorry?" He tried to be polite, acting as if he misunderstood what was being said. He did, but he didn't.

"I will admit, she is a hard one to get over. I blew my first marriage thinking she was the girl for me. But I wont deny it, she is special. She was just a little too much for me. She wanted too much, she was too much. Thank God I realized that. But she encouraged me to be better than I was. I think that was her charm. She assumed everyone was as wonderful and capable as she was…is. She brings you into her world and its like Hansel and Gretel in the candy house. Until, at least for me, you realize you have bitten off more than you can chew."

Jess stared at Dean, taking in the honesty in his words. He couldn't let him walk away without knowing a few things, so he decided to ask, rather than being confrontational, which had been his MO with Dean in the past.

"Wait, you and Rory got back together? I didn't know that."

"Yeah, remember the time I saw you at Yale? Well, things were just kind of starting back up."

"Wait, you were married, that's why you said you blew your first marriage. What happened?"

"I wasn't over her. Lindsey was my rebound girl and she treated me good and she was simple and wanted simple things. Rory wanted big things for me, school, a career not just a job, a future that wasn't what I had in mind. But I loved her, and after Lindsey found out about the affair, she left me. Rory and I tried to make it work, but it didn't because it was never meant to be."

Jess digested Deans words. Words he would not have ever applied to Rory. Affair was the one that resonated in his head the most.

"Wait, so why do you say I still love her?"

"I saw you man. I was walking across the street from the Gazette and you caught my eye and I saw you staring at her through the window when you thought no one was looking. And then I realized who you were staring at, and I thought, of course, I know that look. I have worn that expression. Look Jess, I am happy now. I love my wife, I have three kids and one on the way. But Rory was my first love. I will always love her. Not love, love, but care for her in a special way. But the look I saw on your face was the one I used to wear. Even after I married someone else. It took a long time to realize that I would never be what she needed, and that in reality she wasn't what I needed."

Jess was surprised at the number of words that poured from Dean. He had never been much of a talker.

"How do you know what she needed?" Jess's tone was extremely calm and polite, he wasn't challenging Dean's statement but rather, extremely interested in his point of view.

"Rory wanted the world. Maybe she doesn't anymore, but at that time she did. And I knew it from the beginning. I should have steered clear. But who can, from a girl like that. But after we got back together it was like I was getting her back from you, and I was winning, I didn't realize that you were not the enemy. But the night we ended things I realized what I was really fighting against. In my mind she was a simple girl from Stars Hollow, Lorelai had kept them away from all of the other stuff, so Rory didn't act like that. But from the cotillion I should have known. I didn't fit in her world with the rich friends and the big parties and the bottles of champagne. I wanted a simple life. I ended up going to school and got a degree and a career, I thank Rory for that. And then I met an amazing woman who is an awesome wife and mother. I couldn't ask for more. But it took learning the hard way. The Rory Gilmores of the world are few. But as you know, she is impossible not to love. The problem is whether or not she will love you back."

Jess just nodded his head as Dean spoke taking in all he was saying.

"I gotta get going man, it was nice seeing you, and I mean that. Be careful! Don't love someone who can't love you back. You will end up wasting too many years. I know."

And with that Dean walked away leaving Jess standing in the middle of the street dumbstruck. First at the fact that he had just had a cordial conversation with Dean Forester over Rory, and second over the magnitude of what he had said. He knew he would be replaying the conversation in his head for a long time. There were things he didn't know. Things he did know, and things he had yet to find out. But the one thing he was sure of was that he wanted to try. Dean said that he and Rory were not meant to be. That was something Jess knew from the first time he saw them together, he wasn't enough for the likes of a girl like Rory, even then. But the question he wanted the answer to was whether or not he and Rory were meant to be. And even after all these years, he felt the answer was yes. If they would just give themselves a chance.

But now things were a wreck; she was pregnant and there was another man in the mix. The trail of broken hearts Rory Gilmore left behind her.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: I am writing as fast as I can, I am still aiming for a chapter a day. Hope you are liking it.

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Chapter 11 - Rory

The day passed quickly and before she knew it, Rory had missed lunch and it was nearly five o'clock. She realized she was starving and was contemplating what to eat. It suddenly dawned on her that she had told Jess she would go by the diner for to pitch him the story she wanted him to write. She looked down at her clothes. This would have to do she thought. She didn't want to go home to change because she didn't think she could wait that long to eat. She was more hungry than usual and that was saying a lot.

Rory walked to Luke's and stood just outside admiring one of her favorite places in town. Walking in there was like being home. She stood outside taking in the ambiance. There framed in the windows with the twinkling lights was Jess. He was behind the counter wiping it down, his hair falling in his face. She admired how well he had aged. He wasn't the skinny punk kid anymore. He had grown into a man, and if she had to say it, she would, he was even more handsome than before and held that bad boy demeanor with a sense of confidence and strength that used to just be fake. It struck her as hilarious when she saw him brush his hair out of his face again and thought of how upset Luke would be by his hair flopping all over. No matter how good it looked on him.

Rory stopped herself short. She was not allowed to think of Jess like that. Admonishing herself on her lack of self-control when it came to feeling things around Jess. The few times she had seen him over the years had clarified that the attraction between them was ever present. She never acknowledged it because it made no sense. She was jet setting all over the world and he was doing his thing. But since their last kiss, so many years ago, she couldn't help but feel like she just didn't want to hurt him again. Nor be hurt by him. Theirs was a relationship that was just not meant to be. The thought saddened her in its nostalgia.

Rory stood a minute longer watching and thinking before making her way into the diner. She didn't notice the woman crossing the street who watched her watch him. When she walked in Jess looked up and a genuine smile, his crooked, not quite perfect smile lit up his face.

"Hey" Rory was caught off guard by the smile and could think of nothing else to say

"Hi" His reply came automatically, like a habit you never forget.

"Hey" she stated again and then smiled.

They both started laughing having the same memory of a morning long ago when two young people could not come up with anything better to say.

Jess broke the silence. She was thankful for his effort. She knew that if the memory of that time were dwelled on, it could lead to thoughts that were better off left alone.

"You're early."

"You said dinner. My stomach is telling me it's time for dinner. Unless you want to reschedule, in which case, I will eat here right now. Cause this is a diner and I am free to eat here anytime I want and-"

"Hold on, hold on… I am not saying we are not having dinner, just that you are early."

Rory took a deep breath and wondered why she always had the need to ramble when nervous. She figured she got it from her mother because it made sense that when caught off guard or slightly nervous she would revert to behaving like Lorelai who rambled endlessly. Although her mom's rambles usually made more sense. Rory's tended toward hysterical and nonsensical.

"What do you want for dinner?" Jess took out his order tablet and started noting what Rory said.

"Cheeseburger, no onions, no tomatoes, fries, pie, large coke…uhm"

"Why don't I put that in and if you are still hungry we can get more later?" Jess handed the order slip to Cesar before Rory could answer and before she could look around for a seat, he grabbed her hand and started pulling her toward the stairs.

Rory had to chalk it up to surprise that she did not fight him leading her up the stairs. It was completely unexpected. It wasn't until they got to the door and he opened it that she started to protest.

"Jess, what are we doing up here? You said dinner at the diner so I could tell you about the story. Why did you bring me up here?"

Unwanted memories were flooding Rory's mind as she stood in the doorway of that little apartment. Memories she didn't want to have with the man standing next to her.

Jess pulled her into the space. The table was set just like a diner table downstairs. There was nothing to signify that Jess has some alternative motive except the location. The apartment looked like an overfilled storage facility. She looked around and realized it looked more like a break room with a bed, than an apartment. She averted her eyes from the bed when they fell upon it.

"I know this isn't the best place to eat, its dusty and full of boxes, but I also didn't want all of Stars Hollow to overhear everything we talk about because I wasn't sure what kind of story you were asking me to write. However, since you are asking me and it is something for this town, I wasn't sure you would want my name on it, or want people to know what I was writing, since I am not the most liked person around here.

Jess's logic made sense. Of course it made sense, she was the one not being practical and obviously the only one thinking about how many times they had spent making out on the couch in this apartment. There was nothing romantic about the situation at all. All it offered was a little privacy.

They sat at the table and after a short minute of uncomfortableness, Jess started to talk.

"So? What do you want me to write about?"

"It really isn't that big of a deal, just something I thought about and didn't think I had enough first hand knowledge to write about objectively."

"Ok, you have my interest…?"

"Well, you know how Taylor is always worrying about the ways in which Stars Hollow is losing its charm and how tourism is going to fall off because of it. I thought a compare and contrast piece might be in order. Compare the big cities, New York, Philly, and the ways they retain their charm even with the crime and problems and compare that to Stars Hollow and the things here that make it what it is, things that can be compared with the City and things that make it unique. I am not looking for a fluff piece. I want the people to feel good about our town, but also feel good about the town growing. I also want it to be a little raw and realistic. That's why I think you are the right choice to write it. I also like the idea that it will tick of Taylor just a little to see your name on the byline."

"It's an interesting concept. It sounds to me like you are thinking of changing the way the Stars Hollow Gazette portrays the news."

" Well I tried to get rid of the poem on the front page but it didn't go over so well, but I will keep trying" Rory had that smile on her face she wore when she was facing something new and challenging.

Rory went on and on about the changes she had in mind for the Gazette. From more cutting edge articles to updating the equipment. She wanted to revamp the old and integrate a new way of doing things. She talked about having a fundraiser to buy two or three laptops and converting to newer formatting software.

"This way when I am ready to leave, someone else will be willing to take over as editor and the town won't be without a paper." Her enthusiasm for the project was obvious from the excitement in her voice to the over the top hand gestures she made as she explained her dreams.

"So, have you ever thought about just staying and turning the paper into something real? Something that drew an audience outside of Stars Hollow, with stories you could write and consign out to the AP or create an internet presence where your stories could get picked up?"

Jess's observations told Rory that he was also interested in the possibilities, and a future for the paper. Rory was caught off by him asking is she thought of staying. She had thought of it endlessly. But without making any money, and a baby on the way it wasn't an option.

"If the paper could pay me a salary, then I would be willing to stay, but right now it is a volunteer only job and right now I feel like I need something a little more secure."

Rory wished she could just say she had a baby on the way and needed the money. Why couldn't she, she thought.

 _Because he would ask about the dad._ That was the only sensible thought she had. If Jess knew she was pregnant she would have to admit the affair she had had. It's not that she had an image she wanted to uphold as much as she didn't want to admit it to herself. Not yet.

The dinner continued and by dessert it seemed like old times, less the making out. They talked about books. He agreed to write the article for the paper. They talked about life and successes and failures. He had always been able to keep up with her and her fast paced brain.

She was so proud of him. She had known all he had achieved because after the first book she had followed him and his publishing house. It was a guilty pleasure, one she didn't talk about to anyone. She would never admit the online stalking she did, although he still didn't have a social media presence. However Truncheon did, so she learned some stuff from there. But hearing him talk about the second book and it's more commercial success and the traveling he had done with a book tour, and just the exciting things going on in his professional life made her beam.

"Well I guess it goes to show you..." Rory's thoughts had taken a slightly self- deprecating turn.

"Show you what?"

"That Ivy League education does not guarantee success when there is no true talent."

The look on Jess's face was hilarious, at least to Rory. His jaw dropped, his eyes took on this look of shock. Rory started laughing uproariously. She realized that laughter was better than tears so she went with it. Jess finally regained his composure and started to speak.

"Rory Gilmore! This is not you! Feeling sorry for yourself, insulting your talent and your intellect! The conversation we just had could have been fodder for at least a few articles in any newspaper, magazine or online press. Stop feeling sorry for yourself! Write the damn book. I promise it will be amazing. Publish it, hell, I'll publish it! But stop. This isn't you Rory! This isn't you!

With those words ringing in her ears, the words he had once told her that had driven her back to Yale, put her back on the path she should never have left, the emotions in Rory overwhelmed her. She started to bawl. And in doing so, her embarrassment was so deep that she jumped up from her chair and raced out of the apartment, out of the diner, and all the way home where she sat in the dark, on the couch and sobbed mercilessly.

She didn't know what was happening. If she could have talked to her mom, she would have known that pregnancy hormones heighten all of the feels. But she didn't think about that. She only heard Jess's words in her head. Everything he said was great and kind and most of all right. But she felt like a failure for them having to be said. About her, Rory Gilmore. The once upon a time, most driven, focused, ambitious girl out there who was wandering around, lost, with no true focus, and pregnant. Of all things pregnant.

* * *

A/N So if you guys have an idea for a better article Jess could write let me know. I struggled coming up with something interesting enough. Otherwise, thanks for reading. Hope you are enjoying and review if you get the chance.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12 - Jess

Jess couldn't believe he had blown it. She had run out of the apartment crying.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid" holding his head in his hands he walked around the room berating himself.

"Jess, you are an idiot! But what else was I supposed to do?"

Jess thought back over the conversation with Rory. He couldn't handle the way she was talking about herself, like she had lost all of her confidence, her thirst for life and success. On top of that she was insulting her intelligence and talent. He had read everything she had ever written, including the stuff in the Yale Daily News and the Franklin at her old school. The internet was a wonderful thing. He knew she could write circles around anyone when she set her mind to it.

He wondered why she hadn't gotten her break yet. What was it that at thirty-two years old had her so lost that she came home and became the editor of the Gazette? Something must have happened. He couldn't stand by and let her talk about herself in that way without telling her something and trying to knock some sense into her. What he hadn't expected, was for her to run out of there crying. His and Rory's relationship had always been one of tough love and truth… at least professionally.

He thought back on the dinner conversation, things had been going well. They were getting along, everything felt right and like old times, in the best way. She was so animated when she talked about how she wanted to change the Gazette and modernize it. She seemed so interested in his work.

He mind kept churning as he cleaned up the mess from dinner. Her second piece of pie was still there. She must have been really upset to forget the pie to go she had ordered after the first slice was done. Seeing the pie gave him an idea. He closed up the styrofoam container it was in, pulled on his coat and headed out the door.

He walked to the Gilmore Residence, now Dane Residence, as if on auto pilot. He had walked that trek so many times. Even when he came to town and she wasn't here before, he would walk the blocks like a homing pigeon being called back to its origin. He held the pie in his hand and meandered. He didn't want to get there to quickly. He needed to think about what to say to her. What could he say to apologize for making her cry, but not apologize for what he said. He meant every word of what he said. He wasn't going to let her do that to herself.

He stood in front of the door staring for a good while before deciding to knock. When he finally got up the courage, after realizing that he was acting like a seventeen year old again, he knocked and waited.

When Rory opened the door she had black make-up under he eyes from the tears and her hair was a disaster, it looked like she had been running her hands through it.

"I'm sorry Rory, I was an idiot!" those words came out of his mouth without a thought. Words he had always had a hard time saying. Words that would have probably saved him many a hurt in his life.

And then Rory did something completely and utterly unexpected. Without a word she walked up to him, and buried her head in his chest. She put her arms around him in an intense hug, and started crying again.

Jess didn't know how to respond. Except for her arm in his at the wedding, in the few times they had seen each other since they shared their last kiss nine years ago, Rory and he hadn't so much as shook hands. And now, here she was, in his arms. A myriad of feelings coursed through him. But instead of over analyzing the physical sensations he was feeling, he responded to the crying woman in his arms. He wrapped his arms around her and rubbed her back. He rested his head on the top of hers that was on his shoulder and he repeated the only comforting words he could give her.

"It's going to be ok, I'm here, I am always here."

He repeated those words over and over, pouring all of his concern, and yes, Dean was right, his love with a capital L, into assuring her that he was there. He hadn't been able to be there for her before, he was too screwed up, but he knew he could be now, if she just let him. He could say the words with confidence and know they were the truth. Whatever she needed, he would be there.

They stood on the porch for a long while. The door open, her long, curvy body in his arms. It seemed like an eternity, although he was sure it wasn't more than five minutes. Jess breathed in the unique scent that was Rory. Her head was right under his nose and mouth. She smelled like the fall. Her scent mixed with the smell of the cold air around them reminded him of what home felt like. Ever so gently he kissed the top of her head, so lightly he was sure she wouldn't notice.

He could feel her sobs subsiding. He didn't want to break the mood, but he knew that she would have a hard time with what she had just done. He knew she didn't like to look weak or vulnerable. In order to smooth the transition, just as she was lifting her head he stammered…

"I am freezing, wanna go inside? I brought pie?" Holding the white container up and forcing a smile he looked at her. The worst seemed to be over.

She forced a half smile, wiped her eyes with her sleeve and turned and walked back into the house. He followed and shut the door. She walked to the kitchen grabbed a fork walked back by him in the entry, grabbed the pie and walked to the couch and sat down. Not sure what to do, he sat down next to her while she dug in.

About halfway through the pie she stopped, looked at him straight in the eye and like the Rory he used to know said "Thank you!" She quickly averted her eyes, and resumed her war on the dessert.

He just sat quietly and waited. He had said enough and knew that she needed time to process before she would say anything. As she cleaned the last crumb from the container she once again looked at him.

"For the pie, for the hug, for the scolding. Thank you."

Jess realized that he wasn't going to get anymore out of her tonight. He had done what he had set out to do. Found out how she was, and in a way comforted her. So he kept to a safe topic, food.

"I'll bring you breakfast at the Gazette in the morning. What do you want?"

She smiled, looking relieved that he changed the subject and wasn't pressing her.

"A big stack of pancakes, bacon, three cups of coffee…" she had a long pause "…better make that one, and an orange juice instead, oh and the two danishes you promised me."

"You got it. See you around nine." And with that said, Jess got up, Rory got up and walked him to the door. As he was about to leave he turned quickly, pulled her into his arms for a quick hug, and a soft barely there kiss on the cheek.

"Get some sleep, you'll feel better."

Jess left the house feeling like he had just fought a war. An internal war that raged in him, that brought all of those long suppressed feelings that had been pushed down and pushed down rising to the surface like a diver coming up to fast. He turned the corner and when he spotted a bench he sat.

All of the feelings, emotions, reasons why he loved that woman came to him in memories. The first time he saw her, in the picture and then sitting at her desk. Her kindness and how sweet she was to him, and how she laughed at his antics, even when the rest of the town hated him. Their first kiss, then their first real kiss, watching her think and the way her mind worked. All of those things, all of those years of pushing them aside, came back with a single hug. Holding her in his arms just felt right, it felt like the piece of him that was missing. Her scent, the way she fit against him. The trust she placed in him to be vulnerable in front of him, to literally cry on his shoulder. It was all a little overwhelming.

If his goal was to gain her trust he felt he was heading in the right direction, but his goal was growing. The hope was blooming in him whether he liked it or not. A hope he had squashed, a light he had dimmed. It was all happening with something as simple as a hug.


	13. Chapter 13

A/N Thanks to whoever reviewed as guest. I cannot reply in a PM to a guest review, but thanks for reminding me that I am leaving out the rest of Stars Hollow completely. I hope you like this chapter. WARNING** This chapter is not graphic but does slightly lean toward an M rating.

Chapter 13 - Rory

When Jess left Rory didn't feel the relief she expected to feel. She was grateful that he had come by and appreciated the support he offered. What surprised her the most about his visit was that he didn't seem to expect anything from her. He let her cry, he gave her his shoulder, he even brought her pie and he didn't ask for anything in return. He didn't ask for explanation, he didn't ask any questions about why she was crying or what was going on, he was just there. So instead of the relief she expected to feel when he left, because she didn't have to try and avoid the topic that was the only thing on her mind these days, she felt alone.

One of the things that had kept her going back to Logan time and again was just that, he kept her from feeling lonely. He was there and he would hear her out and sometimes she needed someone who wasn't her mother. Logan wasn't an option anymore. She didn't know what she was going to do about that yet. She figured she was going to have to tell him about the baby but she wasn't sure when. Her visit with Christopher led to the pro con list and she did not want to raise a child with the Hunzberger dynasty having a say. They were worse than the Gilmores.

Rory's thoughts went back to Jess. Even when things had sucked romantically between them he was always a friend and he always had called her on her shit. She was realizing today how important that was. Logan was always there to whisk her away from her problems, her life, if she wanted, and that was nice, but Jess had always made her face her problems. Maybe that is why Logan was easier. He let her live in fantasy land and Jess was reality.

"Jess is real" the whisper escaped her lips.

"Jess is real…" Rory's mind started spinning. Even when she had denied Logan's proposal she had not wanted to deny Logan because she loved him and his spontaneity and their adventures. She loved that she was free when she was with him. But she was having a baby and nothing was more real than being a mother. There was no escaping and jetting off to somewhere to avoid the responsibility.

When Jess came back to her that night at Yale, his proposition was preposterous, run away with him, but it was a true request. He legitimately wanted to start a life with her back then, no matter how crazy it sounded. He was always about being realistic and grounded. His life had not allowed him to have his head in the clouds. He actually reminded her of Lorelai in that way. She had never allowed herself to get too close to Jess. His emotional unavailability scared her even when her attraction to him was immense. After he left without saying goodbye, twice, her faith in him was gone.

She wondered if she had judged him too harshly. Yes, he had left, when he was seventeen and eighteen, but he had changed. She could see that. At the most difficult times in her life, Jess was there. Even though he was dealing with his own screwed up life. When she dropped out of Yale he had proven to be the most level headed of them both. He had gotten his life together, written a book, started a small publishing company. Obviously, he wasn't the same unreliable person he had been. He had tried to tell her that, that he was ready. It had been more than ten years since then. Of course he was grown up. Was she?

Rory let herself think the thoughts she had been shoving aside. She remembered the hug and how she felt in his arms. She felt safe, she felt protected, she felt cared for. In between her sobs, she remembered hearing his words. "It's going to be ok, I'm here, I am always here." It was almost like he knew why she was crying and even though the words were simple, they rang true.

Beyond the comfort she felt in Jess's words, she thought of the comfort she felt in his arms. At one point she felt a tingle run from the top of her head all the way through her feet, it was electric enough that it calmed her. It was the same sensation she felt the first time she kissed him at Sookie's wedding. It made her want to stay and run at the same time. It was something she had never experienced in a relationship before.

She hadn't been with that many guys, five if you counted the one night stand Wookie, she was more of a relationship girl than a hook-up type. The electricity had never been that potent with any of them and those relationships went far beyond a hug or a kiss. It piqued her curiosity more than she wanted to admit. She had always had an attraction to Logan, and he to her, but she realized that it had grown as time progressed. She and Logan had chemistry, the half-naked episode that happened the night of her Grandparents vow renewal was evidence of that. Being caught by your dad at a family event was a bad choice in retrospect. However, the franticness that led to that indiscretion could not hold a candle to what she felt in Jess's arms. Was it the memory of what was before she pondered, but when she thought of what happened just a few minutes ago, she realized it was much more than the memory, it was, as Jess was, a reality.

It struck her as odd, the impact it had on her, it was like an incendiary sensation that Jess left her with. So much that she had to forcefully push back what she felt. She wondered what things could be like with Jess, if she let them be. She had considered it once, before he left Stars Hollow. But she had pushed that feeling way down a long time ago with her disappointment and need to move on, not even acknowledging that it was there.

Rory tried to follow Jess's advice and sleep, she wanted to feel better than the failure she felt like today. She lay there feeling his arm on her back, remembering his scent, musky with a hint of stale smoke, even though she knew he didn't smoke anymore. She thought she would never get to sleep as revved as she felt from their innocent encounter. Yet the emotional exhaustion of the day caught up with her and she fell into a deep sleep.

Rory was in the wings of the stage in Miss Patty's dressed in the Juliet costume she wore for the play from high school. The actual performance was happening. The audience was full of the towns folk. Taylor was in the wings giving cues for people to enter and exit the stage. She could see Kirk beyond the lights running the light and sound board. As she took all of this in, she realized that they were coming up to the wedding scene between Romeo and Juliet. She looked up expecting to see Paris as Romeo, or maybe even Tristan. Instead she saw Jess dressed as Romeo directing his words at Jackson who was Friar Lawrence

FRIAR LAWRENCE

So smile the heavens upon this holy act

That after-hours with sorrow chide us not.

ROMEO

Amen, amen. But come what sorrow can,

It cannot countervail the exchange of joy

That one short minute gives me in her sight.

Do thou but close our hands with holy words,

Then love-devouring death do what he dare;

It is enough I may but call her mine.

Taylor was pushing her onto the stage, apparently she had missed her entrance. Rory walked out onto the stage as Juliet and Romeo /Jess looked at her with a love in his eyes she had never seen. A love that could make you understand why Romeo killed himself when he thought Juliet was dead.

ROMEO

Ah, Juliet, if the measure of thy joy

Be heaped like mine, and that thy skill be more

To blazon it, then sweeten with thy breath

This neighbor air, and let rich music's tongue

Unfold the imagined happiness that both

Receive in either by this dear encounter.

Without even knowing where the words came from she said Juliet's line. The feelings she felt overwhelmed her.

JULIET

Conceit, more rich in matter than in words,

Brags of his substance, not of ornament.

They are but beggars that can count their worth.

But my true love is grown to such excess

I cannot sum up sum of half my wealth.

She felt the words as she declared her love for Romeo and stared into Jess's eyes. She looked around and suddenly was in the death scene. She was laying there playing dead as she heard Jess deliver his line.

ROMEO

And, lips, O you

The doors of breath, seal with a righteous kiss

A dateless bargain to engrossing death.

Rory felt Jess lean over and kiss her, she was supposed to be dead, but she couldn't resist kissing him back. She opened her eyes to look into his and realized that they were no longer in Mrs. Patty's, rather they were on the grass outside the old Independence Inn, where she had kissed him the first time at Sookie's wedding. He was leaning over her blocking out the sun. She continued the kiss and buried her hands in his hair pulling him closer. She realized she was no longer in Juliets clothes. She was wearing a knee length skirt and a loose blouse. She pulled him over her as she deepened the kiss. She felt his hands travel up her side under her blouse and she felt like her skin was on fire. She heard her name on his lips. "Rory" escaped as a sigh. Jess's body was covering hers and she could feel every inch of him on her. Her eyes closed again as she let the sensations wash over her.

Rory untangled her fingers from his hair and reached stretched her arm out, expecting to encounter grass. Instead her fingers ran into a pillow, her eyes opened quickly and this time instead of the grass, she found herself on a soft bed, in between crisp white sheets and Jess's dark hair over her. Instead of feeling him on her through her clothes, she realized they no longer had any on. She reveled in the sensation of his skin against hers. He was still over her. He lifted his head and looked at her. And she saw his eyes widen as she felt him enter her. Her eyes closed in pleasure. She could feel tears of joy falling from her eyes. She heard her name being called from his lips over and over again.

"Rory"

"Rory"

"Rory"

As she felt herself rise to meet him, she wanted to see his eyes as she went over the edge. She opened her eyes to look into his.

"Jess" she said breathlessly, feeling her body ready to sail into the abyss.

There he was looking at her with concern. She wanted to take that look of concern away. She reached her hands up to his hair again and pulled him down into a deep kiss. At first he resisted the kiss and then she felt him start to kiss her back. Her hands trailed down his shoulders. Where she expected to find his bare back there was a shirt. It surprised her enough to slow down the climb up to the summit she was about to reach. She shifted and realized she was in clothes again.

Rory finally really opened her eyes. When she did, Jess was there, he had pulled back from her kiss with questions in his eyes. She took in her surroundings. She was in her bed, in her room. Jess was sitting on the edge of the bed and she was under the covers. Realization began to dawn. She had just kissed Jess. A real kiss. She had been dreaming that she was with him and there he was and she just went with it. As the reality of the truth began to become clear, Rory's face began to take on the hue of a cherry. She didn't know what to do, how to respond, what to say, all she managed to do was squeak out a question.

"Jess?"


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14 - Jess

Jess looked at the clock, it was 8:55. He grabbed the meal he had prepared for Rory and called to Cesar.

"Back in a bit"

"Yeah boss" Cesar's tone took on a sarcastic measure. Jess and Cesar both knew who was running the place. Cesar had yet to take a single hour off for "family stuff."

Jess chuckled as he walked out the door toward the Gazette. He got the paper and looked in the window wanting to steal a look at Rory before she knew he was looking. She wasn't there. He tried to look deeper into the office but he couldn't see much. He tried the door, it was locked.

Behind him Esther walked up. "Can I help you?" He was pretty sure he heard a "hoodlum" under her breath.

"I'm looking for Rory," he tried to say as cordial as possible.

Esther tried the door. It was locked. She pulled out a key ring and unlocked the door. She turned to him and in her dry monotone voice stated the obvious.

"It doesn't look like she is here yet."

Jess peeked in the office just to make sure, muttered a quick "thanks" and walked back out the door. He was starting to get worried. It wasn't like Rory to oversleep, or miss a meal for that matter.

He walked down the tree lines streets that were the path to her house. He was concerned and did not take the time to enjoy the beautiful morning. He didn't have time to notice the quaintness that made up Stars Hollow. He was singularly focused and marched down the street like the New Yorker he once was.

When he got to the house it was quiet. Her car was there, but so was Lorelai's jeep and Luke's truck since they had the DragonFly Shuttle take them to the airport. He went to the door and knocked. There was no answer.

He knocked again and still nothing. He tried the front door and it was locked. Jess decided to go around the side of the house and see if the back door was open. As he walked around to the back he passed by Rory's window. There was a small slit in the curtain where he could see in. He could see her in her bed, thrashing a little. He knocked on the window but she did not wake up. He kept to his original plan and tried the back door. It was unlocked. Thankful that this was Stars Hollow and not New York or any other big city, Jess entered the house.

Rory's door was open. He sat on the edge of the bed and tried to wake her.

"Rory" He called her name gently.

"Rory" this time a little louder.

"Rory" this time with a little shake to her shoulder. She finally opened her eyes.

"Jess" she replied with an odd tone in her voice. And before Jess could think of what to say next, Rory reached up and pulled him to her. She kissed him in a way that she had never kissed him before, she kissed him with intensity and passion, holding his mouth to hers with her hands buried in his hair.

They had made out in the past but this was different, this was they type of kiss you gave someone who you were intense about and with whom you had an extremely intimate relationship with. It wasn't the fumbling of two kids who were pretty clueless.

At first he resisted the kiss, not because he didn't want to kiss her but because he wasn't sure where it came from. But it didn't take long for him to get caught up in her lips and breath, the taste of her tongue. He kissed her back bringing his hands to her face and holding it in his hands tenderly as years of emotions poured out of him into her.

Her hands left his hair and went to his shoulders. He felt her stiffen slightly. A second later, she opened her eyes. Jess pulled back from her lips to look into her bright blue eyes. What he found there was not what he expected. Her eyes were opened wide and they looked confused. Then, after a moment, the look of confusion passed and her eyes opened even wider and an extreme blush bloomed on her cheeks.

"Jess?" she said his name as if he had the answers she wanted, but he didn't know the question, so he answered as simply and as straight forward as possible.

"Yes?" He wasn't sure what had just happened so he carefully sat back even further and tried to gauge the situation.

"Rory?" He asked after a long pause as the expression on her face became more embarrassed and more flushed.

Jess leaned in toward Rory and placed his hands back on her face. "Rory" he whispered as he leaned in to place a gentle kiss on her lips, hoping to calm her. He wanted to show her that he didn't mind the kiss and that he would not mind repeating the experience.

He touched his lips to hers and just as he was about to pull away she pushed him back and blurted out,

"I'm pregnant!"

Jess looked at her with complete confusion. He didn't even need to fake his surprise. Because even though he already knew she was pregnant, the way she had just told him was not something he could have ever imagined. He expected to have to wheedle it out of her and that it would take time and coercing. Instead, she kissed him like he was the means to her survival and then blurted it out. But what surprised him more was the rant she went on afterward.

"Of course! I'm pregnant. Starving all the time, the emotional outbursts, the strange dreams. I'm pregnant, I'm hormonal, oh my god, it makes so much more sense now." And then as if she just realized what had happened and what she had said, she looked up at Jess and stated as matter of factly as possible.

"Jess, I'm pregnant."

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A/N I struggled with how Rory would tell Jess about the pregnancy. She was so opposed to him knowing and asking about the father, that the only way I could conceive of her to volunteer the information was as an outburst. We all love our Rory, but the only time she does things out of character is when she is nervous or emotional. So I hope you enjoyed the result.

Esther


	15. Chapter 15

A/N - I am glad so many of you are following my story. I hope it is living up to your expectations. Thanks to those who have reviewed. It motivates me to keep writing. I am still aiming for a chapter a day. I am hoping I can keep up. Thanks for all the support.

* * *

Chapter 15 - Rory

"Jess, I'm pregnant."

She couldn't believe she had said it out loud. But after all of the odd things she had been doing lately, saying it had been a relief. Otherwise, he was going to start thinking she was on drugs or something worse.

"Wow, Ror, I don't know what to say… Congratulations?"

Rory smiled a weak smile. She was waiting for the other shoe to drop. For him to say something about the kiss. She decided to be preemptive.

"Uh, Jess, uh… about that kiss…" she struggled to find the right words. How could she tell him that the kiss was amazing and that in her dream world that had somehow become the real world she was making love to him in a green pasture and that she was feeling extremely aroused. Of course she couldn't say those things.

Just as she was going to try to explain the situation away, she caught a whiff of food. There was a Luke's bag by the bed, next to Jess. The smell hit her like a ton of bricks. She gagged, jumped out of bed tripping her way across the hall to the bathroom and began dry-heaving. She sank to her knees in front of the toilet.

She felt soft hands gather up her hair and hold it away from her face. He rubbed her back and told her it was ok. She continued to attempt to throw up for a few minutes more, there was nothing in her stomach so nothing came up. Her face broke out in a sweat and he just stood there offering moral support.

When finally the need to vomit subsided, she got up washed her mouth out and put a cool wash cloth on her face. Jess stood leaning in the doorway.

"Glad you told me you were pregnant or I would have thought you were gagging at the thought of that kiss."

Blood flowed onto Rory's cheeks and she looked at the ground. She wanted to be honest but she didn't know how.

"I was dreaming, I didn't realize it was you." Her tone was abrupt. She felt embarrassed by the admission and she wished she could sink into a hole in the ground.

Not because of the kiss, because the kiss was amazing. She hadn't forgotten how good things between her and Jess could be. Yet she wondered how she was supposed to admit to him that the dream was about him when she didn't understand why or how they ended up there in her mind. Her subconscious must be working overtime to have put him in her head like that.

To her surprise, Jess didn't ask any questions, make any accusations, he just looked at her. It was a meaningful look.

"Ok, I see…" His statement trailed off as she saw thoughts forming in his head. Before she could wonder what he was thinking he changed the subject.

"So…are you ok? I mean with your stomach and all?" Jess was about to suggest she try to eat something when Rory jumped in.

"I think so. Jess, thank you for helping me out with the being sick, but what are you doing here?"

Jess explained how he came to be there and how he saw her and the door being unlocked. As he was talking about the food he brought and coffee, Rory's eyes once again widened.

"Wait, what time is it!?" She ran back into her room, slammed the door. Jess stood there unsure of what he was supposed to do. He waited a few minutes and was about to tell Rory that he would just leave the food when she came flying out the door of her room again completely dressed and ready for the day.

He realized that she was freaking out about missing work. She was racing around picking up things and putting them into a purse, at one point she stopped and looked around like she had no idea what she had meant to do.

"I swear I feel like I'm losing my mind." She wasn't really talking to anyone, just muttering to herself. Suddenly, she became aware that Jess was standing there, and realized that was what she couldn't remember, that he was there just waiting. _What is wrong with me?_ Rory was having a hard time holding onto to her thoughts, her emotions were all over, she was sleeping until nine in the morning, having strange dreams. She didn't know if it was the pregnancy or Jess.

She looked at the coffee maker, "I need coffee!" coffee, she thought would clear her thoughts and help her focus. "Damn it, I can't have coffee!"

The rush and the confusion left her spent. The disappointment at the thought of not being able to have coffee became too much. After the complete adrenaline rush of the last ten minutes, she sat in a chair in the kitchen and collapsed. Put her elbows on her knees, her hands in over her face and started to cry.

She didn't know why she cried, just that she felt lost and overwhelmed and didn't know what else to do. She knew it couldn't be just over not being able to have a cup of coffee.

Jess approached her slowly. She felt his hand on her shoulder. He knelt down next to her and she saw in her line of sight a cup of Luke's coffee. He handed it to her.

"I'm sure a little won't hurt. The baby is a Gilmore right?"

That statement made Rory laugh out loud, the tears stopped and she looked at Jess and smiled. He smiled back. She took the cup and took a sip. A relief washed over her at the first taste.

"No, a little won't hurt. I'm not sure how much I am allowed to have. I'll find out."

"Not to sound like I'm getting on your case or anything, but the Rory Gilmore I know would already know everything there is to know about pregnancy, including how much coffee she could have."

Rory stood up, walked into her room and walked out with a stack of books. All of them about pregnancy and a few about babies.

"Yes, she would have, but this Rory Gilmore is in a little bit of denial, and so has not started reading anything yet."

"Are you having doubts about keeping the baby?"

Rory's heart started pounding so hard she could hear it in her ears. No one had asked her that question yet. The thought of it brought such sadness to her.

"No, I have every intention of keeping this baby, I am just wrapping my mind around the fact. Look Jess, I hadn't really planned on telling you, it just kind of came out. I am still trying to figure this all out. This is not a mistake you make at 32 years old. It's a young persons mistake. But even though my mom had me at 16, I never felt like she regretted having me. I need to get it all straight in my head so that my child never feels that he or she was a mistake. And so I really didn't want to tell anyone yet, just mom and Lane know. But with all the happened, with me waking up, the kiss, whatever, it needed some kind of answer, it's the only one I could think of, because otherwise how else does it make sense that I wake up kissing you? My hormones, my dreams, my appetite, my emotions are all over the place. It's the only explanation I have."

Jess listened intently to all that she said, she could see in his eyes comprehension and compassion.

"And the father?" His question was almost just a whisper.

Rory stood there slightly impacted by the question. She knew it was coming, but she looked at Jess and just couldn't give him the answer.

"He is not in the picture. I can't talk about him yet. Maybe one day soon, but until I know what I am going to do, I can't talk about him."

"What do you mean what you are going to do. You said you are keeping the baby. What else is there to decide. If you are having his baby then he has to know."

Rory looked at him with a dead serious face. Without a shadow of emotion, a tear or a smile on her face. Her blue eyes were ice. She told him the one thing she was sure about.

"I need to figure out how to keep it from him. I have no intention of telling him."


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16 - Jess

Jess walked back to the diner after leaving Rory's house. Rory's words rang in his ears.

"I have no intention of telling him."

His desire to know about the father was even stronger know. He started thinking of what he had overheard Rory telling Lane about the father being with someone else and trying to figure out if that logic was enough for her to keep this information from whoever he was. He understood about absent dads. His had gone out for cigarettes and didn't return for seventeen years. But his father had made a choice. He wasn't sure he could support the idea of the father never knowing he had a child. Knowing what it felt like to not have one, he was sure, shadowed his perception.

He went to the diner and worked. He tried to keep his mind off of what she had said, and even if it bothered him it wasn't his decision to make. In most cases he was capable of staying out of other people's business. He was great at keeping his thoughts to himself and great at not interfering with the problems of others. However, he seemed to forget his own rule when it came to Rory. Maybe he felt he had something to prove to her, or to himself or who knew what. But he got involved. He couldn't stand by and let her make mistakes. He couldn't stand by and watch her fail. He didn't think it was possible until she dropped out of Yale. Until that point she seemed to be the most focused person he knew. He didn't realize that she could crack under the pressure just like anyone else.

He had been following her work since the beginning and could tell that her dreams of becoming the next Christiane Amanpour were fading with her decreasing bylines. The writing was still solid but the excitement and love for it was lacking in her pieces. He knew that even if others did not know her like he felt he did, it was noticeable. Otherwise she would have continued to work instead of long periods of time passing between pieces, or she would have landed a job at a large newspaper by now.

He should have known how off track she was getting. It wasn't as if he was blaming himself. But in a way he was. She was THE GIRL, the one who got away. The one he thought about any time he got drunk and even when he wasn't. No, he didn't think of her every waking moment, but not a day went by that she didn't enter his thoughts in some way or another. A line in a book, passing by a book he knew she had read in a store or in his bookstore. Being asked about his novels that had veiled references to his feelings about her. Music, ice cream cones, a zillion little memories they had somehow managed to share in the short time she had amazingly been his. And because of the link he felt between them he blamed himself for making sure that he didn't see her regularly, even though he was trying to protect himself, his heart. He blamed himself because maybe he would have seen her flounder sooner and been able to do something. Maybe she wouldn't be pregnant by some other guy right now. Maybe…no, he couldn't even go there.

"Jess, you are losing your effing mind." He was alone in the diner at this point and had no one around to hear him if he decided to start talking to himself. He had passed a whole day thinking about how he had somehow let Rory down and how her current predicament was somehow on him. He knew it sounded idiotic, but he knew that this is what happened when you cared. Look at Luke, he cared about Jess and all the crap he was going through that he took a screwed up hoodlum into his home. Most people would not say that Jess had a problem with caring too much, but most people did not know that Rory Gilmore was Jess's achilles heel. He could not help but care. He had done what he had set out to do, convinced Rory to tell him. He didn't expect it to come on the way it did, as an excuse to get out of explaining the kiss.

The kiss, he had kept it pushed to the back of his mind a far back as he could throughout the day as it attempted to creep into his consciousness. He didn't want to think about it because thinking about it would mean he would have to feel it. Feeling it would mean he would have to acknowledge that though it seemed to mean nothing to her, it meant too much to him. He had not even dared to imagine what kissing her again would feel like and then like some kind of miracle it had happened.

"Stop it Jess, it was nothing!" Jess felt comfortable with the outburst once again thankful for the empty diner. He needed to hear himself telling himself to stop being so sensitive over this girl. Of course he knew he was lying to himself. It had been over ten years and she would never be just another girl.

He could feel her hands in his hair, feel the softness of her face in his hands. Her lips soft on his and the passion of the kiss made him feel like she was trying to pull him in with just the kiss. She had said it was a dream, he wondered what she was dreaming. He wondered if it had been about him or the baby's father, or some other no faced man. Doubt started to set in. He didn't know what her dream was about or who and he knew that hope was not his best course of action at this point. She was clear that whatever or whoever that dream had been about, she wasn't going to share it with him.

As he started frowning at the picture of her dreaming that she was kissing someone other than him he was startled by the sound of the bell on the door. He looked up and surprise registered on his face. A smile spread across his lips and she walked up to him and he enveloped her in his arms.

"Just what I needed right now." The smile spread across his face and hers as he lowered his lips to hers and kissed her with all the pent up passion he had been tying to shove down.

Outside the diner window Rory stood and watched.


	17. Chapter 17

A/N - Ok, so I know some of you are probably not too happy with the end of the last chapter and I have received comments that Jess would never do that. I beg to differ, simply because he did. Shane? He may have been waiting for Rory, but he didn't seem the type to do it alone. I do not believe for a second that he has been a monk for the last 10+ years either, no matter how much he loved her. Anyways, hope this resolves some of what I left hanging yesterday, at least from his side. You will have to wait til tomorrow to hear Ror's side. Have fun and review. Emcosta

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Chapter 17- Jess

He put everything he was feeling into the kiss, and when he came up from it, he opened his eyes and the brown eyes that met his were not the blue he wanted to see.

Paige did not miss the look of disappointment in his eye.

"Your smile said you were happy to see me, but that kiss wasn't meant for me was it?"

A sad smile crossed Jess's face. He didn't want to answer the question. He had never wanted to hurt her. He was happy to see her. But for the wrong reasons. He thought she would distract him. But this wasn't Philly, this was Stars Hollow where the very air he breathed reminded him of Rory. He changed the subject.

"What brought you here? I said I would be back at the end of the week."

" I know, but I missed you, I had forgotten what coming to this place does to you. It always takes a week or so for you to snap out of it when you come home. I shouldn't have come."

Jess couldn't disagree with her, coming to Stars Hollow had been a mistake for her and she was also right when she commented on his behavior. The haunting memories that accompanied his trips back always left him out of sorts for a while after he got home. But he didn't want to be unkind so he said nothing.

The exchange had taken seconds and he caught something out of the corner of his eye, shiny dark hair walking away from the diner in a coat he knew to be Rory's moving the way he knew she moved.

He hung his head, what had she seen, what had he done? Unwanted, thoughts of Rory's face when she had seen him with Shane so many years ago popped into his head. _No, she doesn't care that much anymore. Why should it matter what she saw, or what I was doing._ But whether he wanted it to, or not, it did. He knew the woman in front of him was hurting but the one walking away was who he was thinking about.

Paige looked at him with sad knowing in her eyes. She had followed his glance and likely saw the pain on his face. Jess became aware of what she had seen and that she seemed to know what was going on. He wasn't surprised because she had tried asking about Stars Hollow and had made suppositions that he neither confirmed or denied. His actions had confirmed what he was never willing to say out loud.

He didn't want to ask her to leave, but he knew he couldn't ask her to stay. Something had changed for him this time and he knew that when he went home he wouldn't be able to go back to the relationship he had with her before. Not without hurting her more than he just had. He wasn't sure what that change entailed, but he knew it was something.

"Why don't I take you to dinner before you go home." He said trying to be gracious.

Paige shook her head. "No, I don't think that would be a good idea. "

Jess saw the tears start to shine in her eyes before she turned and walked out of the diner as quickly as she had walked in.

Jess sighed long and loud. He realized that she was not as happy with their arrangement as he had thought. Maybe she wanted something more, but she refused to push him about it. He also realized that she was hurt whether he wanted it or not. She wanted something from him that he couldn't give. Not because he didn't want to, but because he had given it a long time ago and he had never recovered it. He had told himself year after year, casual relationship after casual relationship that the reason for his indifference to all women was because he wasn't ready to settle down. The reality hit him like the truth that it was. It was never about settling. It was always about settling with the right person, and he was never going to find her because he already had. At that moment he hated the weakness he felt in light of the realization. He hated that he couldn't just move on to Paige who was right there, or any other of the amazing girls he had met. There were some bad ones in that mix as well, but all of his relationships had been short lived because they could never be her. There was only one right person and she was here right now and she was thinking, 'who knows what?'

With that in mind he peeked his head into Cesar. "Running out, be back later"

"Done talking to yourself boss?"

Jess walked out laughing. He wasn't as alone as he had thought. When he hit the sidewalk he picked up his pace. It was just after five when he walked up to the Gazette. Charles and Esther were leaving and he could see Rory sitting studiously at her desk. He snuck in the door before it could close. She didn't even look up. He noticed that what he saw as studious from the window was a facade. She was typing by slamming the keys. She had tears in her eyes.

Jess didn't know what to think. He hadn't kissed Paige to hurt her. It had been more of a way to try to stop hurting himself. He never quite knew where he stood with Rory. If she felt what he felt, if it was just a friendship, if it was a one way street or if she felt the connection he had always felt. Sometimes he thought she did, other times he was sure she didn't.

He slowly approached the desk. "Rory?" Her name was a whisper on his lips.

She looked up, surprised. She looked scared. She looked vulnerable in a way he had never seen her look. When she looked at him her blue eyes filled with tears.

"Damn these stupid tears"

This time he wasn't going to let her avoid the conversation.

He walked around to her side of the desk. He knelt down on his haunches and turned his chair toward him. He asked a question he knew she didn't want to answer. "What are the tears for Rory? And I want some honesty this time and not avoidance. I know I haven't been saying much in light of all you have told me that is going on with you. I am trying to go at your pace and not push. But I need to know why you are crying, why the tears, and I need you to be honest with me because I really want to be honest with you."

Rory's eyes flooded even more and she leaned forward and buried her face on his shoulder sobbing.


	18. Chapter 18

A/N - I hope you all enjoy this chapter. I feel like we left Rory at the end of the revival as a very different character than when we saw her at the end of season seven, and we only saw a bit of what got her there. I feel like the way to solution her issues is to dig into that a little. Hope you like my take. I have more to write. But I have a promised date with my six year old, so this is the chapter for today.

Chapter 18 - Rory

Rory saw the back of her head through the window. A blonde, she swore out loud, why was it always a blonde, with all of them? She had been only a few steps behind her on the way to Luke's but when the woman had walked into to the diner and she saw the expression on Jess's face she had stopped short. She didn't know what possessed her to stay: curiosity, nosiness, or just sheer masochism. Either way she got what she asked for, although it was much more than she had expected.

For some reason she hadn't reasoned that it would effect her so profoundly. She hadn't expected to care if Jess had a girlfriend or didn't, what did it matter. He wasn't hers. He wasn't hers to the point that she was pregnant with someone else's baby. How ridiculous was it that she was hurt by someone being there with him.

And when they kissed, she caught her breath. Feelings of anger, jealousy, hurt spread through her as if not one moment had passed since that fall after Washington DC. She had no rights to him then either, so why did it matter then, why did it matter now?

She started to walk away. She couldn't take anymore. Not in her weakened hormonal state. She couldn't handle the thoughts and truths that were flooding her mind. Without wanting or realizing it was happening, tears started dripping down her cheeks. Was it the hurt of what she saw or the discovery of how she responded?

Her thoughts took her back ten years to seeing Jess with Shane. It had hurt and she had avoided. Why had she done that, avoided Jess all summer, said nothing to him. He had been pretty forthright with her about his feelings. But she had stayed with Dean. Dean had been safe and secure. Jess was the unknown. But know Jess wasn't the unknown. Jess was, well… Jess was Jess. He was the guy she knew she could count on. The guy who would call her on her shit without blinking, but not in a heartless uncaring way. No, rather he did it in a way that made her feel like she could accomplish what he said she could. He had done it with Yale. She would be forever indebted to him for that. For not being afraid to call her on it and set her straight.

She thought back to Logan and his response to her dropping out, he wasn't happy either, but he had just said not to blame him for her choices. The difference in attitude amused her. Jess knew her. It seemed like from day one, the notes in the "borrowed" book, his understanding of what she meant when she called him Dodger. All of it, like someone who could read your thoughts and intentions. Maybe that was what had always scared her about him. His ability to see inside of her. And maybe she really didn't want anyone to really see that.

The image she portrayed to the world, a secure, strong, self-assured, crap together type of person was what everyone saw. But not Jess. One look and he knew what she was thinking, that something was off. One look in over four years, and there he was, acting like he had seen her yesterday.

Damn blondes! She opened the Gazette and went inside. She skipped her customary greeting to her coworkers, if you could call them that. She looked at the clock. It was almost five, she knew they would be leaving soon. She booted up the dinosaur of a computer and got to work. She could feel the frustration of the unknown, the feelings of helplessness and hopelessness, anger and longing, all those feelings just sitting at the surface ready to burst out. Tears rolled down her face unheeded. All of the mistakes she had made over the years seemed to be rearing their ugly heads as she tried to focus on work. She barely registered when Charles and Esther walked out the door.

How had her life come to this. She was Rory Gilmore, valedictorian! Chilton and Yale educated, ready to take on the world. How in the world was she thirty-two years old, pregnant and not married. Even Paris had gotten married and had kids in the right order, sure she was getting divorced, but no one would care about that. But not her, she was unemployed, working for free editing the paper in her tiny little town. She had meant to be at the Times or the Post, conquering world news, working on her first divorce. Instead she was trying to avoid a group of "thirty-somethings" that seemed to her to be overgrown teenagers living at home. But that is exactly what she was. A broken, failing, pregnant, failing, single, failing, thirty something woman who had moved home, failing. Jess face swam in her head, him kissing that girl. Why did she care? She had not chosen him, why did it matter?

Her mind was doing acrobatics as she abused her computer. And as if on command, like she had willed it she heard him say her name.

"Rory?" It was soft, almost like she was hearing things instead of reality. But she looked up and there he stood. She wasn't sure how he had gotten there and for a split second she thought she was dreaming again.

She was feeling everything at once. Scared, vulnerable, unsure. She was trying to come out of her head and recompose herself. It didn't work. Seeing him there brought everything she had been feeling and thinking speeding to the surface like a bullet train. Her eyes, that had been leaking tears overflowed.

"Damn these stupid tears," she tried to hide her uncertainty by acting as if the tears were not her realization that her life was falling apart.

But Jess didn't seem to by buying her act. Of course he wouldn't, he was Jess. The same Jess who knew things with a look and didn't even have to ask. He walked around to her side of the desk and turned her chair toward him. He squatted down and looked her in the eye. It took all of her self control to not put her hands on his face and pull his lips to hers. To use his lips to stabilize herself and stop the world from spinning. But he started talking and maybe for the first time in a long time, she listened. Listened to what someone else said, instead of the noise in her head.

Of course he asked her something that she didn't want to answer. "What are the tears for Rory? And I want some honesty this time and not avoidance. I know I haven't been saying much in light of all you have told me that is going on with you. I am trying to go at your pace and not push. But I need to know why you are crying, why the tears, and I need you to be honest with me because I really want to be honest with you."

Rory broke at that moment. She needed someone to be honest with, someone she didn't have to hide things from, someone who would listen and be there. She had her mom, but she wasn't sure her mom was up for what she was feeling at the moment. She looked at Jess and in gratitude and just a sheer sense of overwhelming emotions, she hugged him close, buried her head on his shoulder and wept.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19 - Jess

He held her while she cried, he hadn't expected that demanding the truth would open the floodgates the way they did. But he held on trying to be her rock in the storm she was going through. She felt amazing in his arms and he felt like he was on a cloud holding her. When she had cried herself out and lifted her face from his shoulder, she looked at him in the eye. The desire to kiss her and calm her slammed him in the gut. The look in her eyes told him she was thinking the same thing. Her breath became shallow and her eyes fixed on his lips. She leaned in and his body was drawn to hers like a magnet. When their lips touched he felt a click, a missing piece falling into place.

The kiss from yesterday had been pretty damn good, but something was off, and he understood that she wasn't truly conscious of what was going on. But this kiss, this kiss was not accidental or done unaware. It was a purposeful, intense, touching of lips, of thoughts, of souls. The gravity that Jess felt in the kiss, caused him to back away before it could go any further. His lips brushed hers ever so gently and he set her away from him.

He was mentally cursing his stupidity for not taking advantage of the moment but he was not the boy he used to be. He was not going to fall into the same situation as before. He was going to be careful this time. He was learning as time went by that as thoughtful and planned as things were for Rory, she was also impulsive. And when it came to emotions, she was extremely impulsive. If he rushed her and she wasn't sure, he was going to end up broken, like after Truncheon. That kiss had awoken his hope and it had ended up breaking him again to such a degree that he avoided Stars Hollow for two years after. He had even invited his mother to Philly, so he could see his sister. He couldn't stand being in this place where every sidewalk and street held a memory. He took a deep breath and started to speak.

"Rory, I would give anything to keep kissing you right now. That is my truth. But I need to know what's going on up there." He pointed to her head, unable to avoid running his hand through her hair.

Her blue eyes looked so lost. She broke eye contact and looked at the ceiling.

"Who was the girl?"

"A girl who wants more than I can give her." Jess didn't know what else to say. Paige didn't deserve being put down in any way and Rory didn't deserve an explanation.

"Had to be a blonde" Jess startled at Rory's words. His face full of confusion. Her words a mix of sarcastic hurt.

"You like blondes," Rory looked at him exasperated as the confusion on his face multiplied. "Shane… was a blonde" Rory spelled out with condescension.

Awareness dawned on Jess's face. Shane, of course, he thought. He hadn't thought of her since the day he broke up with her to be with Rory. He pondered the other casual relationships he had had throughout the years. He seemed to prefer blondes he noted, and it dawned on him that whenever he saw dark shiny hair on a certain body type, he expected the girl to turn around and be Rory. He didn't want to do that with the girls he was with. It would hurt him and them. Jess was making an effort to be honest with Rory in as much as he could without sticking his neck out completely. In a quiet voice she had to lean in to hear, he said words that had the means to destroy him once again.

"Brunettes seem to break my heart."

Rory took a deep breath at his words. Then she did the unexpected. She leaned in and kissed him. She took his face between her hands and placed a soft sweet kiss on his lips. But instead of backing up she went deeper. She told him with her lips the extent to which she wanted the kiss to go. Jess was caught up in her mouth, her breath, her taste, until a thought started nagging at him. He broke away forcefully, he hadn't intended so much force but it was the only way he could get himself to stop kissing her and following it to a conclusion that he knew would mean the end of him.

He knew he needed some distance, so he stood up, since he had not left his haunched position since the tears had stopped, and went to the other side of the desk. He pulled the seat back to Rory's side and placed his chair facing hers.

When he finally settled in, he looked her in the eye and took her hands. "Look Rory, you and I, we can't do this, not like this. We can't play with this or go somewhere that we would be sure to regret tomorrow. There is too much between us. And believe me when I say that I want nothing more right now that to kiss the sense out of both of us and take you to that old bed up in that apartment full of memories," he paused at the blush rising in Rory's cheeks, "I won't do that to you, and I won't do that to me. I refuse to be another guy in your collection Rory."

The bluntness of his words seemed to have startled her. Her face turned red and when she started talking it wasn't what he expected. She started talking in a low vibrating voice.

"Damn you, Jess Mariano! Damn you! You come over here all sweet, looking all handsome. You are understanding and kind and you seem like you want to be there for me. I try and trust you again. But when show you what I want you throw this crap at me. This, 'Guy in your collection' crap. What the hell? Who are you to judge me. I wasn't the one kissing another girl twenty minutes ago and now you are talking about beds and apartments and memories."

Jess could feel his emotions getting the best of him. "Dean, Rory, and to a certain extent me, Paul? Guys you can't seem to let go. You keep them hanging around, like having been with you makes them yours forever. It's not fair Rory, it's not fair to them, it's not fair to the next guy. You collect hearts and you don't give them back! How long did blonde-dick from Yale hang around?"

Rory's face turned a pasty white. "How dare you" she seethed, "how dare you bring Logan into this. Just because I am carrying his baby has nothing to do with collecting him or keeping him around for some sick game." Jess barely heard her next words, she had just confirmed his worst nightmare. The father could have been anyone and it wouldn't have mattered but for it to be Logan's wounded him to his soul. "And Dean? Dean? What the hell are you talking about? Dean and I have been broken up since before my sophomore year of college."

Jess lost all sense of self preservation. She was going to hear him, whether she wanted to or not. He had lost her because he couldn't express what he felt, she was going to hear it this time. "The father is Logan? What the fuck Rory?" He was practically screaming.


	20. Chapter 20

A/N Sorry it's been a couple of days. Busy with work, holiday stuff. I hope you enjoy the chapter and I am going to try and get the next one posted tonight. Review:)

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Chapter 20 - Rory

Rory was confused, emotional, angry, sad, and basically a hot mess. She was walking down the street toward Lane's. Lane was the only person she could think of that could possibly bring any kind of clarity to what she was feeling and doing.

Jess had just screamed at her. Instead of fighting back she had turned and walked out the door. She couldn't think of anything to say and was in shock that she had just inadvertently revealed that Logan was the father. But that seemed to be the least of it. Jess was angry, but she knew he would be when he found out who it was. There was no doubt about that. The animosity between Jess and Logan ran deep. Their encounters had been less than pleasant but what Rory felt made it all the worse was when she had kissed Jess at Truncheon and then proceeded to tell him that she could not continue because she couldn't cheat on Logan the way he had on her. Jess's reaction to her using him, to Logan cheating on her, all of it, was the most pained she had ever seen him.

After that night she had kept her distance. She didn't want to use him, to hurt him. She cared too much about him to play with him like that. And yet it seemed that, in his mind she had been doing that to more than just him.

She arrived at Lane's and knocked on the door. A harried Lane answered.

"Rory! What are you doing here?"

And for the umpteenth time that day, Rory broke down in tears. Lane pulled Rory into the house. She sat her on the couch, and put a cup of tea in her hand and picked up the phone.

"Mama, its Lane! I am sending the boys to you right now, I have a bit of an emergency… No everyone is ok, it's Rory… Yes Mama, I know….Ok, Zach will pick them up. Thank you Mama."

Rory heard her talking but was barely registering.

"Zach, hi…, yeah, I know you are on your way… listen, I need a favor… I am sending the boys to my Mom's….. I know Zach but listen, I need you to pick them up from there, take them to dinner, and then some kind of activity after…I know Zach, but its a bit of an emergency. Rory is here…Yes… I love you…Bye."

Rory looked up at Lane, even Lane had it together, managing her life, her boys, Zach. What was wrong with her? Her thoughts tumbled in her head.

"Am I that bad?" Rory's tear filled eyes met Lane's.

"Do you want honesty, or a best friend?" Lane's sincerity moved her. She was willing to move around her whole life to be a friend.

"I think I need honesty." Lane smiled, and settled in for a long talk.

"Well, now that you are a little calmer, why don't you tell me why you collapsed into tears at my front door, and we can go from there." Lane sat on the couch with Rory, pulling her legs up and hugging them, getting comfortable.

"Jess…" Before Rory could choke out more words, tears started down her face again. Lane unwrapped herself from her position and sat next to Rory wrapping her arms around her.

"Of course, Jess." Lane's tone was so sure that Rory's tears stopped short.

"What do you mean? Of course Jess?" Rory's curiosity was peaked.

Lane looked at her knowingly. "Rory, in all of the years we have been best friends, and all of the boys that have come and gone. You have ended up at my door crying over Jess almost exclusively, and in the worst shape. I don't know what it is between you two. Maybe it's all that sexual tension, but this isn't the first time."

"Sexual tension?"

"Seriously Rory, you don't see it? When Jess is around you sneak looks at each other from every angle. Him at you, you at him, and they are not just looks, they are smoldering, longing, wishing, hoping, looks. Like the other day, outside the diner."

"When outside the diner Lane?" Rory's mind was going a mile a minute, but like the journalist she was, she wanted all the facts.

"You were standing outside the diner, last night, I think, and you were staring at him through the glass. It was dark and he couldn't see you outside, but he was plain as day in the lit diner and I watched you watch him. You stood there for a few minutes. I just watched you. You think that everyone it town doesn't notice. Every time he comes around there is gossip for days. There even used to be a pool to see if and when you guys would ever make up."

Rory sat there with her jaw on the floor. She couldn't believe what she was hearing but she couldn't stop listening.

"What happened to the pool? Who won?"

Lane laughed, "I think that Ms. Patty still has the money, the jury is still out on you two. I think that until one of you gets married, no one wins. But it has been quiet since the last time you two were in town together. So what did Jess say? Getting back to the reason you showed up at my door in tears."

"He screamed awful things at me Lane. Well first, I accidentally, in the heat of the moment told him that Logan was the babies father. But that was after he told me some unfathomable things."

"And they were?"

"Well first he was kissing some blonde chick in the diner when I showed up there this evening."

"So you went to see him at the diner?"

"Well, yeah, to thank him for this morning and last night."

Lane's face broke into a grin "For this morning and last night, huh? As your mom would say 'dirty.'"

"Not like that Lane. Look, he told me to come by the diner and talk to him about an article I want him to write for the Gazette…" Rory told Lane about dinner, breakfast at her house. She told her about the dream and kissing Jess, and how she dropped the pregnancy bomb to get out of talking about the kiss. And how she went to talk to him at the diner and he was with the girl, and how he followed her back to the Gazette and she cried on his shoulder. She wasn't sure if she should, but she told Lane about the other kiss and Jess's words about knowing what was going on in her head before he could continue.

"Ok, so we haven't gotten to the screaming part yet, but so far, it sounds like you have kissed Jess twice, not the other way around, and you have dropped a lot of serious stuff on him. But it sounds like you are being fairly normal hormonal for a pregnant lady and he is being quite logical and not trying to take advantage of your hormonal state."

The look of incredulity on Rory's face was priceless, "well, three kisses, but logical, you think he is being logical?"

"So far, he isn't trying to take advantage of your vulnerability, I would say that is pretty logical. Why don't you tell me what he said that has you so upset."

"He said that I date guys and I think I own them, that they stay mine and that I collect hearts. He said it nice at first, 'you collect hearts' but when I pressed him for what he meant, he told me that I don't let guys go and that I keep them hanging around. And then he brought up Dean and it seemed like he knew about Dean, and all that happened there, and then he brought up Logan, and that's when I kind of blurted out about him being the father."

Rory took a deep breath and looked at Lane waiting for her to say something. Lane sat there with a thoughtful look on her face.

"Well? How dare he right? I don't even know where he gets this stuff…Lane?"

Lane looked right at Rory, "You wanted honesty right? Not your best friend?"

Rory looked at Lane, fear creeping up her spine, a question tinging her voice. "Yeah?"

"He's right."


	21. Chapter 21

A/N - Hey all, thanks for sticking in there with me, Holidays, three kids and the craziness that can be my life derailed my writing. I had half this chapter written and no time to finish it. So thanks for your continued reading and support. I am trying to publish a few more this week. I just rewatched the last time we saw Jess and Rory together at Truncheon and I am reminded of how broken Jess looked when Rory told him she loved Logan. Hopefully we can fix that. See you in the reviews!

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Chapter 21

Jess stayed at the Gazette thinking for a bit after Rory left. He couldn't believe he yelled at her like that. He already has discarded the idea of Logan being the father but he didn't think his response to it being the reality would be so strong. He was upset with himself. Upset with Rory, for letting this happen. _You blew it again Jess!_ His self deprecating thoughts ran through his head.

He felt the urge to run, like he always did when things got rough, he wanted to run. He also wanted to clarify things with Rory but he wasn't sure if she was ready for that right now. But he wasn't the same as before and he couldn't just disappear without explanation or reason. He had gotten Rory to tell him she was pregnant and who the father was, that was his goal. But it did not happen in the way he imagined it. He thought of the kisses they had shared and what he had denied himself and sighed. What else was new? Because of Rory he had sacrificed many things. Not only the physical, but the psychological as well. As he sat there thinking of what he could have done better and how he could have taken the emotion out of the whole thing, he decided to explain things in the best way he knew how. To write. Rory had left her computer logged on, the dinosaur, so he sat down and typed.

"Dear Rory,

I am sorry for yelling at you today. It was never my intention. You know that Logan was never my favorite person, and even I didn't realize I held so much rancor for him after all these years. I am also upset with myself that I threw Dean in your face. If you can believe it or not, we had a very cordial conversation and he told me what happened with you two when you were at Yale. I still stand by my words. But maybe this is a better way to say it.

Rory, you are an amazing woman. It is obvious that you will have men falling at your feet. And I can speak from experience that you are not an easy one to get over. Any man who has been lucky enough to have you, even for a while, would recognize what a woman you are and not want to lose you. You are smart, you are funny, you are witty, you know movies and books and can hold junk food with the best of them, you are a great friend. And on top of all that you are the most beautiful woman I have ever known. Men stick around in the hope that one day you will be theirs again. It is not your fault that they choose to stay, only that in your kindness you never say go, or we are done. You leave them feeling like tomorrow might happen.

Maybe that was the way to have told you what I did. But of course the Jess that I have tried to better, reared his ugly head tonight, he said what I meant but in a way that I know is ineffective and hurtful. So, I am writing this letter to clarify what I feel. I know you are angry with me and that I have very little right to say anything over how you run your life. Just know that you are a very important person to me, I care that you do well in life and what happens to you. You will always have a place in my life, and whatever I can do to make up for that serious indiscretion, let me know. I would hate for another four years to pass without seeing you. First and foremost we are friends. Please keep being the wonderful person you are. I know you will make a wonderful mother, and I stand by that Logan doesn't deserve you. Here is my contact information. Cell: 267-555-2506 You can still find me at Truncheon, same address as always, in the book.

Don't hesitate to call, I truly don't want to lose touch again. It has been an amazing couple of days. I am glad we had them. Once again, I am sorry for being an ass.

Yours Always,

Jess."

He quickly printed the letter and placed it on her desk under a paperweight. With a look back at the office, he walked out, locking the door lock from the inside, he didn't have a key for the deadbolts outside. He doubted it mattered since the only hoodlum the town had ever known was him.

He walked away from the Gazette back to Luke's, went upstairs, packed his stuff and let Cesar know he was on his way out. He hated leaving her there but he knew that Rory being Rory, needed to figure out her own stuff. Any interference would not be taken well. He left with a heavy heart. He figured he would give her a few months. If she hadn't contacted him by then he would call her. He had taken her number from her info on the desk of the Gazette.

When he walked into Truncheon after parking behind the building, his friends accosted him.

"What are you doing back early?"

"What did you do to Paige?"

"Who's the girl?"

His head spun at the questions. They knew very little about Rory, they had seen her the one time she showed up, but they knew what it had done to him, the depression and tailspin he had gone into. They didn't complain, it resulted in his second book, but they also knew the funk he came back in any time he spent more than a minute in that small town he called "home."

Jess stared at his friends with a look of confusion. "Hold on… who's what girl? Who said anything about a girl?"

Matthew looked at him knowingly, "'the girl' the one girl that you write about, that you talk about in your sleep, that you brood over after every visit to that town of yours. The one who was here that one time, years ago, right after the first book. Brown hair, blue eyes. That one."

Jess looked at Matthew like a stranger, he had tried his best to be vague and noncommittal about everything relating to Stars Hollow and Rory, he thought he had hidden it well, he had apparently been wrong.

He tried to side step the question. "What about Paige? What did you say?"

Matthew's face fell, "she came and picked up everything she had around the shop and the apartment, I let her in, I know you are the only one who lives up there now, but she was insistent. She said you were never going to get over your ghosts, and that she had actually seen the ghost. Dark brown hair, blue eyes. And that she knew it was never going to be what she wanted, so she was checking out. I honestly think she is the only girl who has ever seen their competition with you. The others have had no idea why you wouldn't commit, just that every time you come back from there you are all quiet and disconnected for weeks. We don't complain, we can count on some good production when you get back but man, its time to come clean. Who is she, what's the deal?"

Jess realized that despite all of his casualness about his love life, relationships and ghosts, as they called him, he was only deceiving himself if he thought that his friends and colleagues of so many years didn't realize what was going on with him, she was in his writing, his dreams, in the middle of every relationship he had ever had. She was it for him, he just didn't know if he was it for her, especially now. All he could do was get out one word in a whisper. The one he had never said, not even to them, her name.

"Rory"


	22. Chapter 22

A/N I just republished Chapter 22, some typos here and there, sorry.

Chapter 22 - Rory

Rory thought back to Lane's words "He's right." They had shocked her, Lane was her best friend, supposed to be on her side. "He's right." Did she collect hearts, did she not let them go, did she think that they were perpetually hers? These thoughts stayed with her all through the night and into the next day.

When she got to work at the Gazette it was quiet. She was there early so Esther was not standing in front of the never-ending filing and Charlie wasn't working but not working at his desk while passing judgement on her running of the small town paper. She sat down at her desk and tilted the chair back.

"Was he right?" She asked the empty room. The idea of what he said bothered her, the brash, matter of fact way he said it bothered her more. She tried to clear her head.

"Well Rory, back to work. She went to the pile of papers on her desk under her paperweight and saw Jess's letter.

 _A letter? Jess has never written me a letter. Wow a letter._

Rory read the letter, then slowly reread the letter. After reading it a third time, she leaned back in her chair again.

"He was right." Her statement was made with a sense of sadness and as she sat there reclined in the chair tears started dripping slowly down the side of her face. The letter explained it in a way that she now understood what he meant and he was right.

Even after she and Dean broke up she felt like she had a say in his life, like she could dictate terms, like he was still hers in a way. _But isn't that just being a friend?_ She asked herself how she could have done it differently. _By not sleeping with him, obviously._

The internal dialogue continued. Marty from Yale. She knew he liked her but she kept him in the friend zone, hurt him and still expected him to stay there, available. Jess himself, her advisor on all things Rory Gilmore, he gave her direction when she lost her way. He was her compass when life started getting the best of her. And Logan, casual relationship, break up make up, sleep with another woman's man, Logan. She couldn't quit him either. She had kept them around, in her way, knowing that if she picked up the phone at anytime, they would be there for her. Waiting and ready to help her out of a jam, help her move, hang out.

"But they were friends!" She justified out loud. _But I knew they wanted more_ , her inner voice argued. How had she become the girl that collected guys. She wasn't that girl, was she? Apparently she was, it was here in black and white, call a spade a spade. She was that girl. She looked at Jess's words.

"Men stick around in the hope that one day you will be theirs again. It is not your fault that they choose to stay, only that in your kindness you never say go, or we are done. You leave them feeling like tomorrow might happen."

Ouch! She thought, he said it so nicely and yet even with pretty words it still stung. She gave guys hope that she would get back with them. She never said no, it's over, we are done. She thought of Dean. After she had ruined his marriage, HIS MARRIAGE, he had finally moved on. The scene outside her grandmothers house on her 21st birthday. But it had been five years of hanging on. She thought of the bracelet he gave her on her 16th. Five years of her keeping him hanging around. And at the end of the day, she hadn't left him, he had left her. He had had enough. He had broken the ties. He had moved away and found a happy life and seemed so great now. She was happy for him.

Her mind went to Marty. He still called every once in awhile, they would hang out and get food and watch movies when she was around. She would go to his place. She wondered if he realized he never had a shot. She should tell him. Make sure he was clear on the fact that they were friends and that would never change. That he needed to find a great girl cause he was in fact a great guy.

Logan and Jess. What was she doing? She was kissing Jess and pregnant with Logan's baby. What the heck? She had rejected Logan's proposal, rejected his ultimatum. And here she was playing house with him anytime she was in London. Lying to her mother about it should have told her something. She obviously knew it was wrong or she would have told her mother. Did she feel like Logan was hers? Yes, she did. She felt like he was hers because he wanted her despite the fact that she didn't want him. Look where that got her. Pregnant and not wanting him to know. At least she thought, she had broken ties with Logan on her own terms. She had been fairly clear in their last meeting that she could do it on her own and he was free from her, she didn't need him anymore. He had told her she never had.

"I think your days of rescuing me are over." She had told him on that last morning.

"You know you never needed rescuing Ace, you know that."

"I do now."

She thought of that final conversation, yes she had let Logan go. She had loved him, but not in the "have to spend the rest of my life with you way." She loved him in a way that told her that life with him was never boring, but at the end of the day she was a small town girl, not meant for society life, she could do it when needed, but she didn't want it. She wanted to work and maybe she even wanted to live in Stars Hollow. Wow! Where did that thought come from. Live in Stars Hollow? She thought of all the places she would want to raise a child, the craziness of New York with its culture and parks, museums and apartments. The stuffy society of Hartford, half old money, half college students. No, she thought, Stars Hollow, she needed to figure out a way to stay in Stars Hollow if she was going to raise this baby the right way.

Finally, there was Jess. Bad boy turned good, Jess Mariano. She swore to herself that she wouldn't let him hurt her again after he left for California. Their's had been a dysfunctional relationship from the start. Him, after her even when she was with Dean. Her refusing to let Dean go, even though she had feelings for Jess. Then he bailed, but he always came back. Telling her he loved her in the middle of the street. Coming out to Yale to show her his book and set her back on the right path, His amazing bookstore/publishing company in Philadelphia where she had been the stupid one. She thought back to that night, she had gone out there to pay Logan back for cheating on her, she had used him and though he had told her that "he didn't deserve this" but on her way out the door he had told her that it was fine with him if she told Logan they had done something. That was Jess, always there for her, even in the most ridiculous.

Rory thought back to Jess's letter. Everything he had said was true, she collected hearts, she didn't let them go, but she saw his truth too. She had collected his and he still gave direction to her life. She was writing a book that was his idea, he knew her so well. Logan could give her the support, but Jess knew her well enough to know what she was supposed to do. That impacted her. He knew her heart. She thought of all the hearts she needed to let go. And though it pained her immensely, he was one of them. He needed to be free to start his life with the blonde, he didn't owe her anything.

She looked at the letter where he left his contact info, she thought of the conversations they had had over the last few days, when he told her that "Brunette's break his heart." A realization dawned on her, _he was talking about me. I was so caught up in my own stuff I didn't realize he was talking about me._

Rory had so many things in her life to get in order, she needed to be alone. She needed to write her book and somehow get this baby born. She needed to put her personal life on hold until she got things in order. She looked at the letter with the number. She put the number in her phone with the address. She promised herself she wouldn't use it, she needed to get herself out of this mess. On her own, then maybe she would be able to lean on someone and not feel like she had kept them around just to help her direct her life. Jess had done enough. Even through his comments and his letter, he had helped her on her path. He had managed to get through all of the hormones and get to her center, help her find a direction and the motivation to get where she needed to go.


	23. Chapter 23

A/N Thanks again for the continued support. I really appreciate your comments and reviews. Guest Nancy and other guests with no names attached, I would love to respond to your reviews but I can't, so thanks. I had this chapter ready for publication yesterday, but got home to internet issues. It's all resolved now. Hope you enjoy.

Chapter 23 - Jess

Jess sat there looking at the finished manuscript of his new book. He looked at the blank title page. He was struggling with what to call the book. It was drivel, he knew, a classic, one that got away story, his story, Rory's story. He refused to call it "The One that Got Away," such a cliché. As he stacked the finished printed pages to finally hand them over to Matthew for editing he was grateful that his friends already knew his and Rory's story. It would have been hard to explain where this book came from without them knowing their past. It had only take ten years to tell them and to write this book.

For the two months since Jess had been home he had thought of nothing else. He had spent the better part of a decade trying to bury his feelings, trying to push her into his past, but she never stayed there. Every new article she published, every visit to Luke, every connection with his past reminded Jess of her presence in his life. After this last visit he had accepted it. He had accepted that he was irrevocably in love with Rory Gilmore.

There was nothing he could do to change that. He could sleep with or lead on a hundred Paiges and it wouldn't matter. He would not feel for them what he felt for a girl of seventeen, a girl of 21, a woman of 32. He realized that it didn't matter whose child she carried, though the thought of her carrying his excited him and terrified him all at once. It didn't matter her past, her present, only that somehow he was her future. He knew that he needed to work on being her future. The first step to that was this book. This homage to their relationship, what had been, the good the bad, the normal, the crazy, the truth, and the truth stretched a little bit for the sake of fiction. This book also contained all of Jess's truths, his dreams, and his hopes for the future.

It was his metamorphosis from the scared bad boy who could not and would not risk his heart again to the man he had become. From the boy who had abandonment issues and could not commit, no matter how big the prize and the ten years it took for this boy to become a man and realize, he laughed at the language that came to mind, "who is it you think of when something good happens?" The self-help tapes his Uncle had given him. The questions whose answer had always been Rory.

But despite him finally realizing and knowing what he wanted out of this life, and maybe even having an idea of how to get there, Jess knew he needed to give Rory time. He knew that if he tried to step back into her life before she was ready, she wouldn't accept his help. That was Rory, she had to do things on her own. So Jess was not surprised when she didn't call, didn't email, didn't write. He was not expecting her to. He was giving her time. He had come to the realization that he was in this for the long haul, the long game. Two months had passed and nothing. But what was two months compared to a lifetime? He smiled, yes, a lifetime.

He remembered the conversation he had with the guys when he came back from Stars Hollow two months ago. For the first time ever he talked about her, in all the years they had worked together he hadn't been able to.

"Rory" he had said, in a low voice that was barely above a whisper. With that he had taken off upstairs. He had tried once again to avoid the conversation. Putting her name out there was already risking too much.

Of course, being the "friends" that they were that did not fly. The second the shop had closed for the day, they had been at his door, bottle of booze in hand. He had already started writing and Matthew came up to his laptop and started reading over his shoulder.

"Getting lost in blue eyes that revealed the soul. In soft brown hair that made me take a second look at every girl that passed, searching for her face from that day forward."

Matthew read the words out loud and made the connection immediately that Jess had only just realized. "That's why you only date blonde's, they don't remind you of her."

Jess tried to laugh it off. "Blue eyes, brown hair, you guys inspired me." Reminding them of the conversation they had had and Matthews repeated referrals to her in that way. The only way they knew her because they didn't know her name.

"So who is she and what happened?" Aaron, usually the thoughtful one, who wasn't nosy and didn't push for information that didn't pertain to him, asked.

When Aaron asked Jess realized that it was time. They were his friends and who could he trust if not his friends. He looked at the glass of whisky in his had and took a big swig. He didn't think he could get through this story sober. He reread the line Matthew had read on laptop screen. "Getting lost in blue eyes that revealed the soul. In soft brown hair that made me take a second look at every girl that passed, searching for her face from that day forward."

"It sounds like cheese, but that was how love at first sight struck me. It's a cliché, I know, but it's true. The first time I saw her sitting in her room, at a desk, surrounded by books, confident in herself, her intelligence, her place in the world, and me, a dumb kid who couldn't even admit that I had read the book I had picked up. Couldn't admit that I was more than just the bad boy who was trying to steal beer from her mom's fridge and stole the book from her room to return it later with notes in the margin. But she liked me anyway, she saw past my bullshit and liked me for me, the real one, not the one I tried to pretend to be. And I blew it."

Jess took another long swallow of his drink for courage and told them the story of Rory, of Jess, of all the things that got them to where they were today. He told them she was pregnant, but not about the dad. Some things were hers to tell. And by the end of the night, more than pleasantly buzzed but nowhere near passed out drunk, he told them about his idea for the new book.

Matthew and Aaron, skirt chasers that they were, turned into soppy romantics. He wasn't sure if it was the booze, no it had to be the booze, but there they were advising him on how to win back this girl they had never met. And somewhere in the middle of it all, sound mature advise came out of their mouths.

"You need to wait till she is ready, she sounds like a runner. Give her time, but you have to let her know how you feel. You can't keep hiding behind this curtain of life long friend and advisor."

It was sound advice, and now two months after that conversation and book in hand Jess was ready to make a claim to the girl he had been waiting for. He had decided to send her an advance copy of the book. He was working in the timeline of getting this all done before she had the baby. He wanted to be there. He wanted her to know he would be unconditional with her. He was done running and hoping that at some point fate would throw them together again. He needed to fight for her. That's what he had never done. He had always run, afraid of the abandonment, afraid of the rejection. He had never stayed to fight. This time he would fight. No more running! Whether she knew it or not, he was in the race.

He was on his way downstairs to deliver the final copy to Matthew, he wanted to put a rush on the editing. This was the fourth book he wrote and he knew that he could get it on shelves before the baby was born. His last book had gotten picked up by a publishing house that allowed them to self publish but helped with promotion and distribution of his book. He had sent them the first three chapters and they wanted this book too. Since he self published they stepped in to finance and get their cut. Jess was okay with that. He knew that their small company couldn't get the distribution that the large publishers could. He loved what he did, and getting the opportunity to make an actual living writing and publishing was a dream. His thoughts about distribution and marketing were interrupted when Matthew shoved a large manila envelope under his nose.

"Jess, I have been trying to get your attention since you started down the stairs."

"Hey, sorry man, just thinking business, how long before this book will be ready for mass marketing."

"As soon as I finish the first edit we send it in to the publishing company for a final edit. I hate having to do that, but they pay the bills for your books."

"We can start the e-publication on Amazon as soon as we get the cleared file."

Jess and Matthew got lost in the talk of getting the book to market and were deep in the conversation when Aaron walked up.

"Did you show him the envelope?"

Jess and Matthew both looked at the envelope that Matthew had shoved under Jess's nose it had been forgotten in all of the conversations about mass production.

"This came yesterday, but I didn't want to disturb you with it until you were done. I knew you were almost there."

He handed Jess the envelope, it was large and heavy. Jess looked at the post mark. Hartford, Connecticut. His heart sped up. In the upper left hand corner of the envelope was the name Lorelai L. Gilmore with a Stars Hollow address.

"Why didn't you give it to me immediately" he demanded of his friends and he frantically tried to open the envelope. It had been taped a hundred different ways and was proving difficult to open.

"It looked like another manuscript, but it had an address from the town you are from so we thought it might be important."

"Important, you thought it might be important?" Matthew and Aaron stood with their mouths open at his incredulity.

Jess looked at their faces as he finally located scissors to cut the envelope open.

"It's from Rory!" His loud blunt statement surprised them.

"But it says Lorelai L. Gilmore, not Rory?" Matthew stated, "we just thought it might be important cause its from that town."

Jess sighed long and hard as he finally got the envelope open. From it he pulled a large manuscript with a note attached.

He looked up at his friends and showed them the title page. "Gilmore Girls by Lorelai (Rory) Gilmore"

Aaron and Matthew exchanged looks and then Matthew looked at Jess. "We didn't know man"

Jess started laughing. Joy filled him, she had contacted him. His bad humor at them not delivering the envelope immediately evaporated and sense returned to his mind.

"How would you know that Rory was short for Lorelai, or that her last name was Gilmore. I never told you. The only reason you didn't open this manuscript was because it was addressed to me and had a Stars Hollow address. Thanks guys. I will take it from here."

Jess slowly started walking up the stairs. He didn't want to read even the note until he got into his place with some privacy. He opened the door, walked in, closed the door and locked it. He took the whole package to his desk and sat it in front of his computer. He brewed some coffee, got a water bottle, went to the restroom. Finally, when he could hand the excitement no longer, he sat in his comfortable office chair and looked down at the note.

"Dear Jess…"


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24 - Rory

Rory looked at the note from Jess on her desk as she sat there trying to figure out what to write to Jess. The manuscript was done. After her mom came back from her honeymoon, Rory had split her time between her grandpa's office at the Hartford house and the Gazette getting the weekly paper out.

Her mom complained that she never saw her and worried about what she was going to do.

"So Kiddo, what's the plan?" Were the first words out of Lorelai's mouth when she arrived back in town.

They were sitting at the table in the kitchen and Rory pulled out her list.

"Finish the book, run the Gazette, take prenatal vitamins and eat apples. Everything else has to wait until that is done."

"Nowhere on this list does it say tell Logan Huntzberger "She's Having a Baby."

"I'm not gonna tell him mom, at least not right away." She pulled the pro con list from her pile of papers and showed her the reasons why she couldn't tell Logan.

"Kiddo, I know this seems all logical and whatnot, but you have to tell him about the baby."

Rory got that set in stubborn look on her face. "I don't want him to cancel his wedding for me, I don't want him to feel obligated. I did love him mom, for a long time, but he isn't the guy I can spend the rest of my life with, I am not that person. You didn't raise me to be that person."

"So who is the guy?"

"I don't know. Not Paul" she joked. "It just came to my attention recently that in my relationships I don't have clean breaks. I keep guys around like a collection and don't make sure they know that I am not interested in having anything serious until they figure it out and run away. I don't want that for Logan. I don't want him here because he feels he has to be. Not when I don't want a relationship with him. For the first time I made that very clear the last time I saw him.

Lorelai looked at Rory and a look of relief came over her face. The panicked daughter she was worried she left behind to go on the honeymoon she didn't want to go on, but everyone insisted she go on, was fine. She had done what they said she would do, she had figured it out. And it appeared grown up a little in the process.

Dear Jess,

First of all thank you. Thank you for your honesty. You always call it like you see it and never let me get away with being less than the best that you see in me. Thank you for your friendship that has been unconditional through out all of these years and understanding of all the things I have gone through and in turn put you through. Thank you, because I know that if I ever need you, you will be there. Everyone deserves to have someone like you in their lives.

Thank you for your letter. I didn't want to hear the truth when we argued, plus these pregnancy hormones are doing me in. It clarified everything you had said and I am glad that you didn't leave again without saying goodbye. I agree that four years is too long to go without seeing you. I hope you had a wonderful Holiday Season. Luke told me you weren't coming to Stars Hollow because you were working on a new book. I am not sure if that is an excuse or a way to avoid me, the craziness that is Stars Hollow during the holidays or both.

I know that it surprised you that Logan is the father to this baby. I know that he is not your favorite person. You know from our previous conversation that I do not want him involved, at least not yet. During our last conversation you told me and in your letter confirmed your opinion that I collect men, hearts, whatever and don't let them go. Upon reflection and conversations with others who would know, I realize that you are right. That is another reason to add to the long list of reasons why I cannot tell Logan about this child right now. I let him go. I told him that I didn't need him to rescue me. He has his life planned and a baby would upset that in addition to make him think that I want him for me. That is not the case. I am done with him. I love him, always will, but not in a way that makes me want to spend my life with him. He will be this child's father in as much as he wants to be involved, but I am working on a way to figure out how to keep the baby out of the clutches of the Huntzbergers. I don't want their life for my child. I understand now why my mom ran away from all of that and the expectation. I am not willing to have my child live that unless it is his or her choice.

All that being said, I know that things did not end great with us the last time you were in town. But I appreciate that you did not pressure me to make decisions. Thank you for being who you are and knowing when I need space. You have always known me so well. I said it before and I repeat that everyone deserves to have someone like you in their life. That being said, since for a while at least this baby will not have a father, I was wondering if you would consider being the Godfather to this baby. I don't know what it will be yet, but whatever he or she is, will need a strong male figure in their life. Luke will make a great grandpa but he and Mom will be the grandparents. I know this is a lot to ask, especially because of who the father is, but I would appreciate it if you would consider it.

Attached is the manuscript to my book. I would have sent a PDF but it felt so impersonal. You suggested I write it, I am hoping to publish it. I would appreciate your input. And if you think it is good enough, I would like for your publishing house to have first dibs at publishing it. If you think it's completely a waste of time, please send your standard rejection letter. Don't make excuses for me.

I have an appointment to find out the sex of the baby in one month. Here are the details. Hartford OB/GYN 12345 Main St. Hartford, CT, February 13, 2017. If you agree to be the Godfather, I would love to have you at the appointment, my mom will be there too, but doing this alone means I need all the support I can get.

Thank you for being you Jess Mariano. I hope to see you soon.

Always,

Rory Gilmore

Rory looked at the finished letter, she wondered if she communicated everything she wanted to say. She wondered if he would agree to be the baby's Godfather, if he would show up at the appointment.

She reread the letter, she noted how many times she used the word friend. She hoped it was clear to him that she wanted him in her life but that she had no intention of leading him on. She needed to get herself together before she started looking for a relationship again. The only relationship she had time to focus on was the one with the human being growing inside of her body.

She sealed up the envelope with the letter and the transcript. At the post office she took a deep breath as she dropped it in the box. She put her hand on her belly and told it, " Jess will make the best Godfather, the only thing he would make better would be your father."

A gasp escaped Rory's lips, she didn't know where that thought came from. She blamed the hormones but the thought stayed in her mind as she made her way back to her grandparents house.

She packed up her stuff and cleaned up the office. She had done what she had set out to do in the office. As she collected her books and things from around the office she spoke out loud. "I hope this book makes you proud Grandpa! I know it may not be what you hoped I would turn out to be but your space inspired me. I am sad you won't be here to meet your great grandchild. I wish you were here to help me figure out how to make sure this baby grows up the best way possible."

Rory stood in the middle of the room just taking in the environment before she headed back to Stars Hollow. The light flickered off the bookshelf where her grandfather kept his favorite books. She wandered over to the shelf full of guilty pleasure reads. Apart from the first additions Richard had collected this shelf was full of paperbacks. She glanced through the titles. There on the middle of the shelf was a spine she recognized. She pulled out the book "The Subsect" by Jess Mariano. She smiled. She didn't know how her grandfather came across this book when only 500 copies were published originally, but she wasn't surprised it was there, it was an amazing book. She opened the front cover, there in her grandfather's writing was a message on a post-it note. "Recommend this book to Rory! This is a great new author! When she writes her first novel I will tell her about this book."

Tears ran down her face, her grandfather had given her his blessing for her book, and she found it a sign that she had found it in Jess's book. She wondered if that also meant something. She took the book with her. She closed up the house and before she got into the car she looked up to the sky and shouted "Thanks Grandpa!" Butterflies filled her stomach and she got in the car to head back to her mom in Stars Hollow. She had finished the first thing on her list, finish the book, she needed to get back to her second obligation, running the Gazette, it was time to make a new list. She six months to figure out what her life was going to look like when she had the baby and she needed to get started in that new direction immediately.


	25. Chapter 25

A/N: Thanks so much for following my story, I hope everyone has a Merry Christmas, Hanukkah, Winter Break. This will be my last Chapter before my Christmas. I hope to have time to write a few chapters next week cause after that I will be offline til the 9th of January. I will keep you posted. I will keep writing. I just don't know if I will have internet access to post. I appreciate all of the wonderful reviews. I feel like we are about half way through the story. Have a wonderful Holiday!

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Chapter 25 - Jess

Jess had finished reading the note, the novel sat before him. He wasn't sure if he was the best person to read the novel with an objective eye. He leaned back in his chair. Godfather? She wanted him to be the Godfather to the baby. Before he could think, he picked up his phone and sent a text.

"I will be there the 13th, what time? JM." He set his phone down and it immediately buzzed. "1pm. RG" Jess smiled to himself.

"Thanks - JM" He thought of something else and quickly sent another message.

"Do you mind if one of my partners reads the book first? I may not be the best objective voice.-JM"

"Sure, you are the publisher, do what you think is best. - RG"

"Godfather? Huh? Sounds nice - JM"

"Ok, I know its you, can we stop with the initials?"

"RG"

"Haha! Yes, we can stop with the initials Ms. Gilmore!"

"Yes, Godfather! Every kid needs a good one."

":)! Gonna run the book down to Matthew, talk to you later."

"Night"

"Night"

Jess carried the book down to the main floor. Matthew was sitting at a desk editing his novel and Aaron was behind the counter talking to a customer. Jess set the book down on Matt's desk.

"This is the book Rory sent. She wants to see if we are interested in publishing it. I am not sure that I can be the best first reader, I am hardly objective when it comes to her. Do you mind taking the first look? She wants an honest opinion, I think she is a great writer, but I know her and her style well, I also know a lot of this story, I would like an outsiders point of view."

"Sure, I would love to take a look. Do you mind if I set aside editing to do it? Or should I do it after?"

"No, read the book first, then edit."

"Ok, I will get on it. By the way, I am two chapters in and so far, this is the least cheesy love story I have ever read. I like your take."

"Thanks man, don't worry, it gets cheesy."

Two days later, Jess was in his apartment taking his lunch break when there was a knock at the door. He answered the door and Matthew stood in front of him.

"You are going to want to call your publisher" was his opening statement."

"Why, what's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong, something is very, very right." He held up a manuscript, it was Rory's. "This book is going to be too big for us to publish. It has the makings of a best seller. It is like a chic flick but in writing, it's funny, it's unapologetic, it is everything that makes everyone want to buy a book. The mom in hilarious, the grandparents are characters, the town she talks about, is it really like that?" Matt continued his ramblings and a smile spread across Jess's face. Matt was a hard sell, he didn't like corny stuff and he was a fastidious editor. He knew that if he said the book was gold, then it was.

"I will read it and then get in contact with the publisher. If it is what you say it is, I want to have everything settled when I see Rory next month."

"Wait, hold on, you are seeing Rory next month, for what?"

Jess's looked away from Matt and under his breath he mumbled "doctor's appointment."

"What?"

Jess cleared his throat, "I am meeting her for a doctor's appointment."

"Like a baby appointment?"

"Yes, look she asked me to be Godfather to the baby, she is supposed to find out the sex and asked me to come."

"You talked to her? Why didn't you tell us."

"No, well, not really, it was all in the note attached to the manuscript. Plus we texted a little."

"So you have been in contact with her since you told us about her, and since the manuscript came? And you have told us nothing?"

"Yes…" Jess didn't know what else to say. This was uncharted territory for him with Rory. Before when they had dated, cell phones were barely a thing, and whenever he saw her it was unannounced. This texting, staying in contact kind of thing was brand new to their dynamic and he was trying to process. "Look I was gonna tell you guys. I just am still trying to figure out where this is all at between us. She asked me to be the kids godfather, I said ok and that I would go to the doctor with her, I texted her to ask the time and we had a little back and forth. But she used the word friend in the letter she sent me at least half a dozen times, so I know that at least for now, that's where we are. I am her friend. I told you all the crap I told her about stringing guys along. I think this is her way of being clear that she isn't doing that. She does want me around, but she isn't trying to make me think there is something there that isn't. Even if there is."

"Wow, that's a lot you were holding in there Jess."

"Yeah, well, I told you I am trying to figure it all out."

"So a doctor's appointment to find out if the baby is a girl or a boy. And the dad is ok with you being there?"

"She hasn't told the dad, she isn't planning to, at least not immediately, she needs someone by her side."

"I see… well then, here is the manuscript, it is an amazing story. They could make a tv series or Netflix movie out it. I strongly suggest getting in contact with your publisher and if you want to work out a deal, have a contract ready for her on, what day did you say? February 13, hmm, that's the day before Valentine's Day, nice opportunity there."

Jess took the manuscript from Matt who preceded to make his way back down to the shop and get back to work. Jess, yelled down, "I am going to read this up here. Call me if you get busy and need help."

Jess went to the couch and got comfortable. "That good huh?" He queried out loud. "Let's see what your life looks like from your perspective."

Jess flipped over the last page of the manuscript and picked up his phone. His first call was to his contact at the publishing company.

"Amy, hi, Jess Mariano here."

"Are you calling about your new book? Let me guess you need an extension. No problem, I can give you another month."

"No, Amy hold on, the book is done, Matt is working on the first edit before we send it over. But I am not calling about that."

"What, done already, wow, that was fast. Is it as good as the chapters you sent over?"

"Probably a little better, I did some rewriting, but hold on Amy listen. I had a young author come in with a manuscript and I thought I would give it a look. Matt read it first, I just finished it. It is amazing. I think it is bigger than us, though we would like to funnel it the same as we do my books. I was wondering if I could send you the first few chapters."

"If you think it's that good, sure I will take a look. Email it to me."

"I only have a hard copy. Let me get in touch with the author to get the file and I will send you the first three chapters. I can have it to you by tomorrow."

"Ok, I will take a look, I will give you a call when I finish reading it."

"Ok, sounds like a plan."

Jess hung up the phone, pleased. He knew that even if Truncheon just got shared credit with the publisher, being able to have their name on this book would be huge. He wondered how Rory would take the news. Call or text? He fought with the dilemma before deciding this news needed to be done in person. He picked up his car keys, packed an overnight bag, his laptop, and headed downstairs.

"Guys, I will be gone overnight, heading to Stars Hollow."

"What?" Matt and Aaron voiced in unison.

"I need to get an electronic file from Rory for the book, I need to send it to Amy and the publisher. She is interested and will give it a read. Plus, I felt it important to deliver the news in person to Rory. She is going to be ecstatic."

Matt and Aaron looked at each other and together nodded their heads and said "mmhmmm."

Jess didn't mind their unconvinced look, in his mind he was already at her door with a good pretext for the visit.

Within four hours, he really was there. He rang the bell at her mom's house. Her car was parked outside, it was eight in the evening, he didn't expect her to be at the Gazette.

"I got it mom, it's probably the pizza."

"Tell the delivery boy, I will tip him tomorrow, I only have enough cash for the pizza."

"Ok," Rory opened the door and Jess appreciated the look of shock on her face, "Jess."


	26. Chapter 26

A/N I have only done one other Lorelai chapter, but in this situation I think it is relevant. First because even from her comments in the revival we can see that Jess is still not Lorelai's favorite person, but we don't know why that hasn't been settled in all this time and because we know that Lorelai often sees things about Rory that she misses. I hope you enjoy this from Lorelai's POV.

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Chapter 26 - Lorelai

Lorelai heard Rory say "Jess," and she peaked around into the entryway of the house. Sure enough there he stood, the hoodlum, _ok, former hoodlum_ , she mentally revised. She quietly spied on their interaction.

"Jess, what are you doing here?"

"I have a delivery, afraid it isn't pizza" he said with the smirk half smile. Lorelai saw Rory's eyes light up at the flirty way he commented. "Although I am open to tips, monetary or otherwise."

Rory laughed out loud breaking up the tension that had developed from the moment she opened the door.

"Seriously, Jess?"

Jess held up the manuscript, "this book is going to be a best seller" he told her with conviction losing the joking tone and taking on a serious one.

"Wait, what do you mean?"

"Matthew, my colleague read it first, and he was convinced that this is going to be huge, so he told me to read it. That was at lunch time today. I read it and the first thing I did was call my contact at the publishing company. Look Rory, I would love to publish this, like you asked, but Truncheon cannot do it alone. We are small time. This book is going to fly off of shelves, and we do self-publishing through an Amazon type format with limited prints. This book needs a big time name behind it to get the promotion and publicity it needs, plus it needs the volume they can supply."

"Ok…" Rory was trying to breathe, Lorelai watched her trying to catch her breath overwhelmed by the words Jess had told her. "But… that still doesn't answer, what you are doing here. You could have called or emailed me all that news."

Lorelai watched Jess deflate slightly, as if he was hoping for a different response. He qualified his appearance at their home at 8 in the evening with the following statement.

"It was too good of news to give by phone or email. Plus, I already talked to the publisher and they want to read it, but I needed a digital copy and since I wanted to deliver the news in person, I figured I could pick up the file while here. Plus since I didn't see Luke for the holidays, as you pointed out, I thought I would say hi to him and pop in to see Doula for a bit. Seemed like a good time for a trip."

Lorelai listened to Jess ramble. She knew he had stayed behind when she went on her honeymoon, Luke had told her that he asked him to keep an eye on Rory, but he was nowhere to be found when they came back. She had assumed he had just split. But she could see a tension between Rory and Jess. It was reminiscent of years past when a boy and a girl didn't know how to talk to one another and so they just exchanged a series of "hey's." There was a tangible tension. Rory has some explaining to do.

"I am so sorry, come in, I have been so rude, you were just the last person I expected to see when I opened the door. We are expecting pizza and we have to hurry and eat it, cause Luke will be home any minute and he will be bringing me salad for the baby and then I will have to hear about eating the pizza. And you know how Luke is about eating healthy."

"Mom" Rory yelled, "look who is here, it's Jess."

Lorelai played dumb like she hadn't just been eavesdropping on their conversation. "Hi Jess, what brings you so far from home. Luke is still at the diner."

Jess answered slightly nervous, " I brought Rory back her manuscript, we are interested in publishing it, my publishing company I mean, Truncheon Books."

Lorelai smiled internally and the fact that she still had the ability to make him nervous.

"Oh, so it's work related, can I offer you a beer perhaps?" She added just for jolly's.

Jess's head popped to attention, "uh…no…thank you, I…I still may have to drive tonight, wasn't sure how long this was going to take. A soda would be nice."

"Sure kid, I will get that soda." Lorelai walked away laughing, she loved unsettling him, however, she was the one unsettled in reality. Rory had told her she had sent the book to a potential publisher and she had given Lorelai a copy to read, Lorelai hadn't read it yet, the idea made her a little nervous. It had been just over a week ago when she came home from Hartford. She had not mentioned that the publisher in question had been Jess's publishing company or that she had been in contact with him. She also hadn't told Lorelai that Jess knew about her pregnancy. This scenario seemed to be repeating a lot of the same pattern that it had followed the first time around, when Rory kept almost everything relating to Jess a secret.

Rory and Jess had come through the kitchen and disappeared into Rory's room shutting the door. Lorelai couldn't hear anything behind the door. She waited a few minutes before she knocked and opened the door in a quick hurry with Jess's soda in a glass with ice.

"Knock, knock," she stated as she walked in. She observed the scene, Jess was leaning over Rory's shoulder, she was sitting in her chair at the desk and like the two book loving nerds they were, they were deeply engrossed in a conversation regarding the book, the digital files, the best way to send the files, whether it was too large to send, and a variety of other technical jargon, like PDF, zip, and dropbox, that she had no idea what they meant. She cleared her throat since they seemed to have completely missed her entrance. "Hmmhmm."

Jess looked up and took the soda out of her hand and gave a quick "thanks," and immediately jumped back into the conversation.

Rory looked up at her mom, "did you need something mom?" with a bothered look on her face. The same face she used to get when Lorelai would interrupt her studying.

"No, just delivering soda, did you want something Rory?"

"No, not right now, if I need something later, I will get it."

Jess had gone to her bed where he was digging in what appeared to be a laptop bag. He pulled out a computer. "can I grab a chair from the kitchen Lorelai?"

"Yeah sure," gone was the insecure kid. In his place was an adult man who was all business and doing what he did best, books.

Jess pulled the chair up to Rory's desk, she automatically scooted her laptop over to make room for him and they both buried their heads back in their work. Lorelai stood back and watched. This was a part of them she had never seen before, she knew from Rory and Luke that Jess published books and that he was an author, she knew that he had a business, she even knew that he was the one who got Rory to go back to Yale all those years ago, and she recalled during the argument they had in the cemetery about this book that Rory had told her that the book was Jess's idea. Lorelai looked at them sitting there, heads together working, laughing, smiling, collaborating. This was a side of him she had never seen, a part of them together she had never seen. Gone was the boy with the chip on his shoulder. Here was a man who was supporting her daughter in her dream, in finding her way.

Lorelai backed away from the doorway slowly and wondered to the living room. She answered the door when the pizza came and payed for it. She thought of all of the times Jess had been in and out of Rory's life, her heartache when he left for California, but later him coming back, him telling her he loved her, the miracle he performed by persuading her to go back to Yale. Then she thought of the things Luke had said about his books, his success, the pride in Luke's voice when he talked about his nephew. Lorelai took a look inward and realized that all of the animosity she held towards Jess all these years, really no longer had any foundation. She had disliked him because he treated Luke badly. Now he treated Luke well, he had paid him back all the money he borrowed, he had on a number of occasions run the diner so she and Luke could go away. He called and kept in contact and didn't close his uncle out of his life. He visited his sister even though he barely tolerated Liz.

Lorelai had also disliked him because she didn't think he was good for Rory, but despite the heartache, he wasn't the married man she had lost her virginity to, that was good ole' dependable Dean. He wasn't the reason she found her daughter drunk on founders day punch, crying on the bathroom floor, that had been Logan, and to boot, he wasn't the guy who had knocked up her daughter. Instead he was the guy she had kissed when dating both Dean and Logan, but kept at arms length.

Lorelai tried looking past her own animosity toward him from the beginning. She tried to see him for who he really was. He was the only person Rory listened to about school. He was the person who's advice Rory took when she felt her life had no direction. Suddenly it hit Lorelai like a ton of bricks. Jess was the guy for Rory. He always had been. Him, his opinion, his perspective all mattered more than anyones to Rory. But why had she kept him at a distance all these years thought Lorelai. _She wasn't ready, she was afraid of the strength of what she felt for him even at 17._ Lorelai's mind settled around her thoughts. Jess… hmmm…

Lorelai peaked in on them again, sitting there discussing books, it looked as if they had moved on from Rory's books and were animatedly talking about something else, arguing even. But they didn't seem angry, in fact they both seemed in their element.

Lorelai could see in front of her what she had failed to or refused to see before, a perfect fit for her almost perfect daughter. She could see the adoration in Jess's eyes as he smiled when she smiled and laughed when she laughed. She wondered if Rory knew how much that man adored her, or if she was as blind to it as she often seemed to be. Jess, Lorelai thought again. Who would have thought it would be Jess.


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27- Rory

Rory had been a bit concerned that days had passed from the delivery of her manuscript and she still had not heard from Jess. She had tracked the package so she knew it was delivered but all she got were crickets. The two days after the book was delivered, out of the blue there was the text from Jess about the time of the doctor's appointment. She was relieved that, at the very least she had an answer to the godfather question. She also knew that he was taking her proposal about potentially publishing her book seriously. By not taking the first read through, she knew he was treating her like any other potential author and not allowing a conflict of interests cloud his professionalism.

What Rory had not expected, not in the slightest degree was to find him standing at her door on a Friday night, when she was ready for the pizza delivery guy. Nor did she expect him to be there telling her that her book would be a best seller and that they needed to get a copy of it to the publisher as soon as possible. She couldn't remember ever having a better time with Jess, than when they were talking, arguing, sparring about books, this had been of those times. One of the times that made her remember what it was about him that made him so interesting to her. Sure he was ridiculously gorgeous with that black hair flopping all over and his hands pushing it back as he leaned over his laptop, and the way he filled out his clothes in a way he hadn't when he was a teenage kid. But she knew that despite his good looks, it had always been his brain that had held the most attraction for her. Of course she couldn't deny the chemistry. If all the things that had happened when he didn't graduate and they didn't go to prom had never occurred she knew he would have been her first. She shook her head. Why were her thoughts going there, that ship had sailed and all that stuff had happened. These pregnancy hormones had her mind a little more "dirty" than usual, as her mother liked to say.

And if Jess showing up at her door had not been enough of a surprise for the night, the grand inquisition from her mother that followed, took the cake.

"So Jess huh?" was her mom's statement the second she closed the door behind him.

Luke had called from the diner saying that they had a team come in from the neighboring town last minute and he had to say to help Cesar get everyone fed so they could close. Rory and Jess's conversation was winding down at that point and the first three chapters had been sent to the publisher while the whole book had been copied to Jess's laptop for edits.

Lorelia had poked her head into Rory's room after Luke called "Jess, I told Luke you were here. I didn't know if you were waiting for him but he told me that he was gonna be caught up at the diner for a bit if you wanted to meet him there."

Rory and Jess's eyes met, they both knew this was Lorelai's way of telling Jess it was time to go. After a look at the clock Rory realized it was after nine and that they had been talking for over an hour. Jess smiled and started getting his stuff packed up.

"I guess I will see you on the 13th then. I hope to have the contract all drawn up to bring a hard copy by then. I will call or text with the details of the contract, so hopefully we have a final draft by that time."

"And the contract with Truncheon?"

"That's right, I guess I'll see you tomorrow then. I will work on that tonight and bring you a copy before I leave town tomorrow. It's too late to go and see Doula right now. Even though she probably isn't in bed, she should be, so I will hang out in town and see her tomorrow."

"Thank you for everything Jess, see you tomorrow."

"See you tomorrow Ror"

And with that he was gone and the grand inquisition of 2017 began.

"What about Jess mom?"

"That's the question, what about Jess? You didn't tell me he was the publisher you sent your manuscript to."

"He gave me the idea for the book, it only seemed right to give him the first right of refusal."

"And him knowing about the pregnancy?"

"We talked before he left town after the wedding."

"And him going to the doctor's appointment next month?"

"I asked him to be the godfather."

The last statement had silenced her mother, but she knew it was only a matter of minutes before she was on the attack again.

"Look mom, I know you and Jess have never gotten along well and that he isn't your favorite person in the world, but he has always been a good friend to me. After we ended things back then, he has always supported me and tried to be there for me. I know that you will forever see him as the hoodlum of Stars Hollow, who crashed my car with me in it and took off, but he isn't that kid anymore. He is a grown up, he writes books, he runs a business. Does it matter if he is my friend?"

Rory saw her mom's face change as she vehemently defended Jess.

"Yes, I can see he has changed." Rory startled in surprise. "Have you?"

"What do you mean mom?"

"Whenever it came to Jess you were never straight forward with me, you always were evasive about your feelings for him, I had to drag out everything that had to do with him. I feel like this is the same. This isn't how we do things kid. We talk about things. The only time you hide things from me is when you think you are doing something wrong. Like Logan and London. Are you hiding something with Jess, Rory?"

Rory looked at her mother, how was she supposed to tell her that she was having not so pure thoughts about her ex, ex, ex, who knew how many boyfriends ago he was? How was she supposed to tell her how she felt when he was around and that he made her feel safe and cared for? She wasn't allowed to be having those thoughts right now. Right now she had to focus on the baby and the life she needed to build.

"We kissed ok…it was a mistake… I am in no place for a relationship right now. I like him in my life, I always have. He is a good guy. He is good to me. But I have made it clear that we are friends and nothing more. At least right now. I don't have time or energy to focus on anything but this baby and solving my life. That cannot include a man. No matter how good looking or good of a kisser he may be."

"So he's a good kisser?"

"Mom! But yeah, he always has been."

Rory saw a look cross her mom's face that said she had something to say but decided not to say it.

"What are you thinking mom? Come on spit it out."

"Just that, if after all this time, you still think he's a good kisser, maybe there's something there."

And with that statement Lorelai walked away. Rory wasn't sure what shocked her more, the interrogation or the way it ended. "Maybe there is something there?" Did she hear right? Was Lorelai saying that she might have something with Jess.

Rory laid in bed that night, her mother's words repeating in her head over and over, excited about seeing Jess the next day. With all that in mind she drifted off into a fitful sleep.


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28 - Jess

Jess walked into the chaos that was Luke's with his laptop bag and his duffel. Upon noticing that Luke and Cesar were trying to manage a full diner, he realized that they needed help if anyone was going to get home tonight.

"Hey Uncle Luke, I will put these down and give you a hand."

Jess ran upstairs and went to drop his bags on the bed. The bed was gone, in its place was another stack of boxes.

He went back downstairs, washed his hands and Luke handed him an order.

"Table 4"

"Ok, table 4, who had the burger, no cheese? And the soup with a side salad?"

After delivering the order he went to the window and picked up another two plates for table two from Cesar. Luke was all over refilling coffee, water and other softdrinks.

After thirty minutes of continuous refills and clean ups and taking payments, the diner was down to one local couple finishing their pie and coffee.

"Thanks for pitching in there Jess, we were buried, I sent everyone home cause it looked like a slow night."

"No problem Uncle Luke. That's what family is for. Hey by the way, what happened to the bed upstairs?"

"Well, I kind of kept it around cause Lorelai and I never got married, and I would stay up there sometimes when I was expecting an early delivery. But to be honest, even though I thought it would be the same after we got married, I kept looking at the bed and thinking that I didn't want to stay away from my wife, even if it meant getting up twenty minutes early to get here on delivery days. So when all of Rory's stuff finally got here from all over the place, I got rid of the bed to make room."

"After years of living together, being married changed all that?"

"I know, I didn't think it would matter. But it kind of does. I like saying I have a wife, and that my wife is Lorelai. Anyway, what about the bed?

"I came into town to talk to Rory about publishing her book," this garnered a surprised look from Luke telling him that if Luke didn't know about the possibility of him publishing her book than Lorelai probably didn't either. He knew that Lorelai would never let him know if she was aware of it or not, she always held her cards close to the vest.

"Yeah, Rory sent me the manuscript for her book and it's excellent, we are interested in publishing it through the publisher that does my books. They have larger distribution channels than we do and this book is going to be big."

"Really, that good? I mean I know Rory can write, but I wasn't sure how it would come out writing about her and Lorelai."

"For that reason I didn't read it first. I gave it to Matthew, I wanted an objective opinion. But he was amazed and then after I read it, so was I. It's non fiction but it reads like fiction. Of course most people might not believe that a town like Stars Hollow exists. But yeah…that good. I wanted to deliver the news in person and get a digital copy of the book, so I decided to come up. But I planned on staying upstairs tonight, and now there isn't a bed, so I may have to rethink that. I was going to draft Rory's contract with Truncheon tonight and deliver it tomorrow and stay and visit Doula tomorrow. I brought her Christmas present."

Jess went behind the counter and pulled out a package for Luke.

"Here, I have yours too."

Luke's eyes teared up. His pride in his nephew, in his thoughtfulness and in his maturity could be seen in his eyes. He held his gift in his hands and told Jess, "you can stay at the house tonight. The couch is pretty comfortable, we just replaced it a few years ago. It's too late to go to your mom's. She is pretty adamant about getting Doula in bed by nine."

Jess was startled by the comment, he remembered never knowing where his mom was when bed time rolled around. He made his own schedule and his own hours. Maybe he wasn't the only one who could change.

"Really, Doula has a bedtime. That's good, little girls need their sleep. Although ten isn't so little is it?"

"Nope, ten is not little, but not grown either. That's about the age Rory was when I met her. And April was just a little older. Ten is old enough to complain that her brother didn't make it to Christmas, but also old enough to not call and tell him she was upset because she understood that he might have his reasons."

"Sorry Uncle Luke, I really was knee deep in my new book. I just finished it three days ago."

"So you gonna come back to the house with me?"

"Sure, just let me get my stuff."

Jess headed back upstairs for his things. He realized that the boxes all said Rory and some other location, London, Paris, Hartford.

Logan was in London he thought. Then a strange thought entered his mind and he asked the question out loud. "I wonder if she ever found her underwear?"

Jess pulled up to the Rory's house behind Luke. The house was quiet and dark. It was almost eleven and the only light on inside was upstairs.

"Looks like Lorelai is still up." Luke commented as he unlocked the front door.

Jess saw that Rory's light was off. It'll be nice to be close, he thought, and see her in the morning.

Luke found the blankets for the couch at the foot of the stairs. He had texted Lorelai that Jess was coming and she had gotten the bedding ready.

"You good?" Luke had the fatherly look on his face. Jess reminded himself that it was nice to have someone to look after you.

"Yeah, I have some work to finish so I will be up for a while, but I'm good."

"Do you need he WIFI password?" Jess laughed internally at how strange WIFI sounded coming from his 20th Century Uncle.

"No, Rory gave it to me when I was here earlier. The computer will find it when I open it back up. Thanks though."

"Night Jess."

"Night Uncle Luke." Jess thought back to when calling Luke, Uncle bothered him, now it was normal. It was a sign of the respect he deserved and the place he had in his life.

Jess pulled out his computer and started to revise the standard Truncheon contract to fit Rory's book.

He realized his battery was getting low, so he moved to the kitchen to find a plug. He was leaning over the counter working when he heard a sound behind him.

"Jess? What are you doing here in the dark?" A completely groggy Rory asked.

"I am staying the night, Luke got rid of the bed in the apartment and it was too late to go to Liz's, so he told me to come back here." Rory was standing in the light from the living room and he could see her silhouette. In regular clothes, it was still hard to tell that she was pregnant, but in the form fitting pajamas she was wearing Jess could see the baby bump starting to show in her normally flat lower stomach. He felt his heart speed up at the sight.

"Oh, I fell asleep after you left, and after my mom asked a million questions. I am so tired these days. The books say that the tiredness should be ending soon, the nausea too."

"Are you still feeling sick? Can I get you something?" Jess remembered when he saw her sick before, he hated the helplessness he felt.

"Not as sick, it seems to be fading. Hopefully the tiredness will too." Rory yawned and walked over to the cabinet for a glass, "and I am always so thirsty. Sometimes I wake up twice a night to get a drink."

Jess approached her, he had never really seen her this way, woken up from sleep, completely clean faced, in pajamas. He liked it. It felt right. Something about the environment they were in felt comfortable. He took the glass from her hand and took it to the fridge where he found a pitcher of cold water. He filled the glass and handed it to Rory. She was leaning on the counter looking exhausted. She took the water and downed half the glass in a single drink. When the glass came down, she smiled at his expression.

"I told you, I wake up thirsty." Jess was standing very close to her at this point and he could see her with the light from the living room, she was no longer in shadow.

He looked her in the eye and asked "May I?" His hand was lingering around her protruding belly. "That's my godchild in there.." He couldn't mask the wonder in his eyes.

Rory looked surprised. "You are the first person to ask, but yeah, sure… go ahead."

Jess gently laid his hand between her hip bones where her stomach had started to expand. "Probably because in your regular clothes you can't tell you even have a bump yet, I just noticed cause these pajamas are a little tighter than what you were wearing earlier today, plus I knew to look."

Rory let out a gasp.

"What? Did I hurt you?" Jess pulled his hand away.

"No, it's just that I am pretty sure I just felt the baby move."

Jess put his hand back, hoping to feel something and Rory laughed. "No, you can't feel it yet. It's just that the other day, I was leaving my grandparents house in Hartford, the day I mailed the manuscript and I was saying bye to my Grandfather, out loud, I know I sound crazy. Anyway, after I did that I felt like I had butterflies in my stomach, like I was nervous. And then two days ago, I had the same feeling but I thought it was something I ate. But right now when you touched my stomach, as clear as day I felt it again, that same feeling. I had read about it, but I wasn't sure what I was feeling was what the book described. I am pretty sure now. But according to the books you won't be able to feel it from the outside till the third trimester."

"How far along are you?"

"Sixteen weeks today." Rory placed her hand over his on her belly.

"And how far along is that in months? Four?" They stood there talking barely above a whisper and Jess could not bring himself to remove his hand. It was trapped between her hand and her stomach.

"Apparently everything we know about pregnancy is not quite accurate. The nine month thing is actually counted as forty weeks. So I should have this baby in another twenty-four weeks, not quite six months. Doesn't seem like very long, does it?"

"No, not long at all." Jess stood there, his hand on her, staring into her eyes. He brought his other hand to her cheek and caressed it. "Not at all."

When his hand touched her cheek, Rory seemed to wake from the trance she was in. She moved from her relaxed state leaning against the counter to fully upright and removed her hand from Jess's, forcing his hand to drop from her stomach.

"Jess, I …"

Jess stepped in a little closer, now that she was standing up straight he could stand closer to her. On a whim, he broke his own rule of giving her time and space. He leaned in and wrapped his arm around her back. He brought his hand back to her cheek and ever so gently placed his lips on hers. He waited a second to see her response before he began to gently move his lips over hers. When she finally responded it was to return the kiss. Her response was tentative at first. Her lips barely moving under his. He took a half step closer. All he needed to do was lean in to pin her against the counter. She responded to his closeness by wrapping her hands around his waist and pulling him against her. Jess deepened the kiss. They stood there in the darkness of the kitchen, both slowly increasing the intensity of the kiss. It went on like this for what seemed hours but was only minutes. Before the intensity of the kiss could go too far, Rory broke contact with Jess's lips and put her head down. Jess wrapped his arms around her and just held her.

"I'm sorry Jess, I just can't right now. It's not the time…for me, for the baby… I need to get my stuff in order before I can even think of anything else. I'm sorry…I am not trying to collect you." He could hear the tears in her voice.

He leaned his forehead against hers and just held her. He knew what his end game was, and he knew that he had overstepped. He couldn't help it, she had looked so beautiful and felt so close.

"I know, don't worry, I don't think that, not here, not now. I know you are not in the place for that right now." And he bent his mouth to her ear and whispered in a low voice. "I can wait, I will wait. I will be here when you are ready."

He placed a chaste kiss on her forehead and reluctantly released his arms from around her.

"Night Ror." He said in a barely audible voice as he walked to the couch.

"Night Jess." He heard her reply.


	29. Chapter 29

A/N - Again thank you all for the wonderful reviews. I know it has been a few days, since my last chapter posted. We have been enjoying the holidays. I am trying to get ahead by a few chapters because I will be on vacation next week with limited internet access. So I am not sure I will have time to write or post, I am working on that right now. Either way. Hopefully, I will have something for you tomorrow, Monday, and if I cannot do anything on vacation, Friday. I am glad you are enjoying my story. Did anyone see the new Netflix tweet? Interesting, to say the least.

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Chapter 29 - Rory

Rory lay in her bed reliving the kiss she had shared with Jess, just as she had every night for the last three weeks. He had kissed her, it hadn't been a dream, it hadn't been her trying to avoid conversation. It had been a kiss, almost like a first kiss; sweet and tender, understanding and not asking for anything in return. Rory sighed and placed her hand over her belly. A habit she had gotten into since that night when Jess had placed his hand there and the baby had moved.

She found herself wishing again that they baby were his and not Logan's. Then she wouldn't have all this mess to sort out on her own. She would have someone to do this with her. The doctor's appointment loomed and Rory was nervous about the sex of her child. She didn't know what to wish for. She thought she would like a girl because she would be able to have a relationship with her like she had with her mom, but she was afraid it could turn out to be more like the relationship had mom had with her grandmother. She thought she would like a boy because it would be a different experience altogether and she would be able to do something new. But then she thought of boys and their need for fathers. Girls needed fathers too she realized, but since she grew up without one around, she felt it was not as important.

She imagined a little girl with her dark hair and blue eyes, and the picture faded to a little blonde girl with light brown eyes. She imagined a little girl that looked like Logan's sister Honor. A sad feeling enveloped her. Honor would make a great aunt to this little girl. The thing that killed her the most, that made her the most sure that she needed to keep this child out of the Hunztberger's hands was Mitchum and his incessant need to control the dynastic plan. The reason why she and Logan never really had a chance, because her dreams did not fit in the plan.

Rory sighed out loud. "This is going to be even harder if you are a boy." Rory knew that Mitchum was much more likely to try and be involved if the child were male. As chauvinist as he was, a girl was much less likely to be more than a blip on his radar. Additionally, a boy would ruin whatever grand plan Mitchum had with the French heiress Odette. She was sure that if Rory produced an heir to the Hunzberger fortune before the wife of his son, the problems would never end. Rory held her hands to her stomach again. "Please be a girl, please be a girl." Rory pleaded. Her mind spun with the possibilities.

The week passed quickly and Rory was standing in front of the doctor's office in Hartford. She had been there a few times already, but it was hardly comforting right now. Her stomach was in knots. It was a big day. Not only was she going to find out the sex of the baby, but Jess was supposed to be at the appointment. They had stayed in touch via email and text since "the kiss," _since he left_ she mentally revised, but it had all been business. There had been very little communication about personal matters. It had all been about the book, the publisher, edits that needed to be made, clarification. She was nervous about whether or not she wanted to even think about, let alone talk with him about what he had said. _"I can wait, I will wait. I will be here when you are ready."_

Those words were burned into her memory. The way he said them, the sureness with which he said them. Had he been waiting for her all these years? Surely not, she thought, with the girl he was kissing in the diner, she was positive that Jess had not been waiting around for her for ten years. It was too much to think about right now.

She was startled when she felt a pair of hands wrap around her waist and settle on her belly. She started to jerk away when a familiar voice said in her ear, "calm down, I am just saying hello to my godchild."

Butterflies filled her stomach, but this time she was sure it was not the baby. His hands, his voice in her ear, flooded her mind with memories from that night in her kitchen and a chill ran down her spine.

Jess let her go and came around to face her.

"You were standing there so focused on whatever you were thinking about, looking up at the building, I couldn't help but surprise you."

Rory laughed the sensations she was feeling away. "I was waiting for you," she admonished.

"You could have waited inside, I told you I would be here," the sureness with which he made the statement warmed Rory. She remembered all the times their plans had been vague. The nights she had spent waiting for him by the phone to cement plans that had been made haphazardly. Him showing up out of the blue, _well he still does that_ , she corrected _but it isn't so bad._ She realized that the Jess standing before her was the grown up Jess, not just the teenage Jess in an adult body. Over the last month, every deadline he had made for contracts, edits, even emails had been met. He was where he said he would be when he said he would be there professionally. And now, he had promised to be there for this baby, and here he was. She realized that she liked this adult Jess more and more without including the fact that she was drawn to him just because he was Jess.

He grabbed her by the elbow and started her toward the door of the building. "So do you know what you want?"

Rory was startled by the question. What did she want? She wanted for her life to have turned out a little different, she wanted to be a little more sure of her choices, she wanted to not be unwed and pregnant right now. Although she did want this baby. She wanted to be in a place in her career where taking time off to raise a baby didn't scare her. She looked at Jess with a panicked expression. But he seemed to understand the detour her mind had taken and he clarified.

"What do you want? A boy or a girl?"

Relief crossed the countenance of Rory's face. A small smile crept onto her lips as calm descended upon her. "A girl, I think I want a girl."

"Another Gilmore Girl! I think that sounds about perfect." They had walked into the suite for the doctor and Jess continued to guide Rory.

Finally, Rory realized where she was at, and that she needed to come out of her head for a minute to deal with the check in, the copay, the paperwork. She looked at Jess who had made sure that even on her cloud, she got where she needed to go. She looked at him with gratitude in her eyes. He nodded his head in apparent understanding. Together they sat down in the waiting room. She folded her hands over her stomach that was becoming more pronounced everyday. She knew that the time had come to tell the world about the baby, she just wasn't sure if she was ready. She wasn't sure that she was ready for the questions, for the suppositions, for the judgements. It didn't matter if she was ready or not. There was no stopping the questions.

"Lorelai Gilmore"

The nurse called from the doorway into the exam rooms.

Jess stood with Rory. They headed toward the door and the nurse stopped them. "Is this the father?" and before either of them could answer she continued "he will have to wait here until I take your vitals. We will call him back for the ultrasound."

Rory stood there a little unsettled, just nodded and followed the nurse to the exam room. She wasn't sure how to clarify or clear up what had just happened. She wasn't sure she wanted to.


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30 - Jess

Jess looked at the time on his phone a hundred times as he drove to Hartford. He had given himself plenty of time, but he did not want to be late for this appointment. He thought of all that had happened in the last month as he drove. He did not know what possessed him to drive all the way to Stars Hollow to deliver news about Rory's book but something propelled him to do it. It wasn't the first time he had been drawn to Rory without thought. He doubted it would be the last. Something about her made him do and say things that he thought better of later. How is it that after all these years, she could still make him nervous like a teenage boy?

When she opened the door expecting pizza he had shamelessly flirted with her by telling her that he would take tips "monetary or otherwise." Granted, he had gotten a smile. Still, he was there for business and all he had to do was look in those blue eyes and the most random things came out of his mouth. Of course things had always been like that with her. Yelling that he loved her in the middle of the street. The stupid things he had said to her the night of the dance competition that had caused Dean to break up with her in front of the world. Telling her that she could tell Logan that something had happened between them that night at Truncheon. Asking her to run away with him at Yale, taking his book to her grandmother's house because the need to show her was so strong. The list went on and on, the things he did on impulse for her, because of her.

It had been a long time since things had been this way for him. Years of maturing and growing up had changed him but all it took was a few new encounters and he knew that there would never be another woman in his life that could compare to Rory Gilmore. He knew he might have blown it that night in her house. He couldn't help himself. At the end of that long night, his defenses were shot and he could not control the impulse to kiss her.

He thought of the way the evening had panned out. After she answered the door they went to her room to work. The room had changed so little over the years that the memories alone had nearly floored him. Then Lorelai had made the beer comment and he felt seventeen again. They sat working at the same desk where he had seen her the first time and it took a bit of concentration before he could get to the business of working. He took his time removing his laptop from his bag a setting it up. He knew that in order for things to stay comfortable he needed to keep the conversation about work related things. He started with what always worked for them, books.

"So what have you been reading?"

"Honestly, not much, I have been so focused on writing, as well as, you know… that I haven't read much."

His eyes went to her stomach, he could barely perceive any kind of baby bump. He shook his head and proceed down his chosen path. "Well what are you carrying in your bag. The Rory I know always has a book in her bag." He reached into the side pocket of her computer bag and pulled out a small paperback book.

Jess sat in his car thinking about what an idiot he had been. What kind of guy just digs in a woman's bag? _The idiot that I am, around Rory._

He remembered the expression that crossed her face when she saw him with the book in his hand. He didn't understand it until he looked down and realized that in his hand he was holding a copy of his book, The Subsect.

He quickly put the book back in her bag. Rory tried to cover the awkwardness by asking Jess how he wanted her to send him the file of for the book. They were discussing the merits of the different forms of file transfer when Lorelai opened the door with Jess's coke. He had been leaning over Rory's shoulder looking at her screen.

The scent of her hair had been permeating his senses for the minute he stood over her and between that and the book, he needed to get out of the room. "Can I get a chair from the kitchen, Lorelai?"

He hardly waited for her to comment, he walked out, took a deep breath, grabbed the chair and set it next to Rory's at the desk. As if she felt the magnetic pull, Rory scooted her chair over, putting more space between them. He again took his time setting things up, keeping the conversation casual, talking about a book they had recently published that had gotten a second print.

"Are you writing anything new?" The question came out of nowhere. How was he supposed to explain to her, his new book? He barely understood where it had come from, all that had gone into it. He wasn't ready to explain it just yet. It's purpose was for later, when it mattered, when he felt like she was ready to hear him.

"Um… yeah… I just finished something new. That's why I didn't make it for the Holidays. I told Luke that I was writing."

"He mentioned it, but I wasn't sure if it was for other reasons…"

"You mentioned that in your letter…and to be honest…just a little. But also, because I can barely handle Stars Hollow most of the time, the craziness with all the holiday stuff is even more unbearable."

"Is the new book like that one?" Rory inclined her head toward the bag where he had replaced his other novel.

"No, it's a little less social anarchy, and a little more comic tragedy." His own comic tragedy he thought. How to lose a girl in 10 ways, he thought of the play on words the movie title. That's it, he thought, the title. He had been fighting with the title for weeks. He excused himself from Rory for a minute and sent a quick text to Matt.

"Really, sounds interesting, I can't wait to read it." Jess laughed internally. Even though it was a dark comedy, the book was meant for her. An apology of sorts for all of the idiot things he had done. He thought of the title of the first chapter. "Leaving Without A Goodbye"

"I will make sure you get an advance copy." It had been his plan all along to give Rory his book. A way to make sure that she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt, how he felt then, how he felt now, and everything in between."

Right then he had a text from Matt that had told him that he had only written nine different ways. He texted back that he was sure he could figure out another one, and he had. He wasn't sure if digging in her bag without permission was enough to write a chapter about, however, what happened later that night was. He had kissed her. He had given into the impulse and in the dimness of the kitchen, with her all sleepy and beautiful looking, and with her baby bump showing and the warm feeling he got imagining waking up to her like that, he had kissed her. The flirting, the finding his book in her bag, the smell of her hair, the conversation about books that could go on forever despite all the starts and stops that had marred their conversation, was like going back in time fifteen years, getting to start over or maybe just try again. Everything combined had made it impossible for him not to do what he had been fighting against all evening.

Too many times while they were sitting side by side, she would look at him sideways and it had taken all of his self control to not lean over and taste her lips. He could barely avert his eyes from looking at them, but looking in her eyes was no better. Looking in her eyes and seeing his past, and what he wanted for his future was even harder. And then the words, he closed his eyes for a second just thinking of what he had said. They came from his heart. He meant them with every fiber of his being. He just worried that they scared her. That his admission would be too much for her state of being right now.

Jess finally pulled into the parking lot adjacent to the medical building. He saw Rory standing in front staring up, but he could tell her mind was elsewhere. He couldn't help his desire to touch her. He thought of the child in her stomach. He thought of the joy it brought him to touch her and that baby that would in some ways be his. He wrapped his arms around her. He pulled her close to him. When she got scared he reassured her. It only lasted a short minute but that was all he needed. All the affirmation he needed to remember why he was there and the end game he hoped to attain.

 _Patience, patience, you have time,_ his thoughts reminded him of what he couldn't say out loud. Instead he asked "So do you know what you want?"

He saw the look of panic on her face, as if he had asked her a deep philosophical question. He could see her mind spinning as expression after expression reflected in her eyes. He realized the vagueness of his question. He reiterated "What do you want? A boy or a girl?"

She smiled in relief and in seeming to know the answer. "A girl, I think I want a girl."

He smiled at the thought. The world definitely needed more amazing women like Rory. "Another Gilmore Girl, that sounds about perfect."

Rory still seemed scattered and wasn't moving forward like she was still in her head. He took her elbow and led her into the building. She had sent him the information about the appointment so he knew what suite they were heading for. When he finally delivered her to the reception desk she seemed to come to, just long enough to provide the information necessary for the appointment. They sat and he just watched her. Conversation wasn't necessary and based on the distracted look she wore, it was probably not possible. What he wouldn't give to read her mind. Within a few minutes the door to the exam rooms opened and the nurse called "Lorelai Gilmore"

Rory seemed to be oblivious to her name so Jess once again held her by the elbow and stood her up. The nurse quickly surmised and questioned "Is this the father?" and before either of them could negate her assumption she continued "he will have to wait here until I take your vitals. We will call him back for the ultrasound."

Rory did not deny the nurses assumption. She just followed her back. Jess thought about how much he wished the child she was carrying were his. He hadn't thought much about having children until recently but seeing the glow in Rory and her body change and develop with this baby inside created a longing he didn't know he could desire.

Jess wondered why she did not deny it. He wondered what she was thinking about in regard to Logan and her promise to not tell him about the pregnancy. He wondered what her plan was at this point and if it was too soon to press her about it. Finally, the door opened, the nurse looked him in the eye and told him "you can come back now."

He found Rory laying on an exam table, her shirt pulled up and her stomach exposed. The ultrasound tech was placing a gel on her and Rory smiled at him and motioned him to her side. He stood next to her and she took his hand in hers, squeezing it in the excitement. Everything about that moment felt just right. He placed held her hand with his left hand and his right hand went to her hair where he smoothed it back, in a soothing comforting way. His body faced her completely and the screen came to life before him.

"There is the heart beat," the tech showed them. He could see the gentle beating that pulsed on the screen, a sense of being overwhelmed came over him. He could feel emotions welling and a wetness he was unaccustomed to filled his eyes. He squeezed her hand in the emotion. The tech kept at her work, measuring and taking notes. At long last she asked the question they had been waiting for.

"Do you want to know the sex?"

"Yes," Rory replied meeting Jess's eyes.

"Congratulation mom and dad, it looks like it's a girl."

Rory squeezed his hand. She looked at him with unshed tears. Longing and wishing filled him. He wanted to clear up his position in this whole thing but he couldn't. He wouldn't. He would not deny what he felt for her and because of her, this baby that was part her. He just smiled at her and did what he felt any man would do in that situation. He wiped the tear from his eye, gently placed a soft kiss on her lips, undemanding, just congratulatory and repeated what had already been said.

"It's a girl, we are having a girl."

He expected nothing in return but was pleasantly surprised when Rory repeated his statement.

"Yes, we are having a girl."


	31. Chapter 31

Author's Note: I am sorry for the delay! As many of you writers know, sometimes, inspiration just abandons you. I have been writing but not this story. I hope those of you who are new, have enjoyed the story. I am hoping to get back into it. Hopefully an update a week. I have been working full time, so my time is limited. Thank you all for hanging in there with me. This chapter isn't too much, but the next one will have some good stuff. Thanks for reading. Review if you can.

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Chapter 31 - Rory

"A girl mom, we are having a girl." Rory's pensive mood had passed and the excitement of the situation took over. She and Jess had no sooner exited the exam room than she had taken out her phone to call her mom.

She looked over at Jess "mom was supposed to come today, she had a last minute disaster at the inn with Sookie and Michelle was handling a huge party. I told her not to worry, that you would be here." She flashed him a megawatt smile as her mother answered the phone.

"Now we have to think of names," she could hear her mom's excitement as she told her the news.

"We will start a list when I get home, I need to get something to eat. I was too nervous this morning to eat much and now I am starving. Plus I need to take care of some contract stuff with Jess. I will be home soon and we can celebrate."

"Ok, Kid, but be safe. Tell Jess I said hello."

"Bye Mom," Rory looked at her phone like an alien was on the other end as she hit the end button.

"Something wrong?" Jess asked.

"My mom said to tell you hello." Rory's voice sounded like she was questioning the greeting instead of delivering it.

"Tell her I said hello, then, when you see her." At his response Rory was even more surprised.

"What? Did you and my mom become friends without me knowing it?" Rory's suspicions were growing, first her mother had defended Jess that night at her house and now she was sending him greetings? What happened to the disdain with which she usually treated him?

"No, it's just polite to return a greeting. I know Lorelai and I have not always gotten along well, but now that her and Luke are married and I am going to be godfather to this little girl, well, it would probably be better to get along, no?"

Jess, once again surprised Rory with his maturity. He was trying to get along with her mom, he was keeping his promises. Her thoughts were starting down a path that she couldn't go, so she changed the subject.

"So, do you have the contract?" She saw the look of disappointment quickly come and go from his eyes. He reached into his ever present messenger bag and pulled out a manila envelope.

"It's right here. Why don't we grab some lunch while we go over the details? And don't tell me you are not hungry, I just heard you tell your mom you were starving. If I have learned anything in my life it's that you don't leave a Gilmore Girl hungry without consequences."

Rory smiled, she was hoping he would invite her to lunch, she couldn't help but enjoy spending time with him. The nervousness she had experienced before the appointment returned, she hoped she could eat. "Where to?"

"You are the one familiar with Hartford, why don't you choose? Do you want to just leave your car here and I drive? Or should we leave my car and you drive?"

Rory's mind went to the last time he drove her anywhere. They had ended up in a car accident. When he had visited while she was in Yale, she had driven. She had never blamed him for the accident, but she had never driven with him again either. But this was a different Jess and she was entrusting him with her baby. She knew she had to trust him in other areas as well.

"Why don't you drive, I'm a little tired." Jess assented and he led her toward his car. The realization struck her as it had the morning after their kiss when she had walked him out that he did not drive a car she would have expected. He drove a midsize economy car with four doors. She would have expected a coupe of some sort or a muscle car, not a small family car. The first time she had seen it she had bit her tongue but this time, her curiosity ate at her and she needed to know why he had this car and not some tough car.

"Hey Jess? What's with the family car? It is not what I would have thought you would own?" She asked as he opened her door and she situated herself.

After he came around to the drivers side and situated himself he answered "What, you don't like my car?"

"No, it's not that I don't like it, it just doesn't seem… I don't know… you." Rory was starting to feel a little unsure about her line of questioning.

"And what exactly do you think a "me" kind of car should be?" Jess had a twinkle in his eye as he looked at her waiting for her response.

"I don't know…a Charger…or a truck… a tough car!" Rory felt the color rise in her cheeks. Had she just told Jess that his car lacked toughness?

Jess laugh assured her that she had in fact said that, however, his response surprised her. "I agree, I am a tough car kind of person. However, my profession does not seem to fit that mold. So, when I had the sporty tough car, that "fits me," it guzzled so much gas when I was driving all over the eastern seaboard pedaling our books it was making me lose profits. A truck was not an option because when the weather is wet, it's impossible to transport boxes of books. So I needed something spacious and good on gas. Thus the midsize sedan, big enough to transport boxes and still fuel efficient. Pretty logical I think. At least until all of our books sell enough to guarantee delivery by the printing companies to the book stores. Until then, it's all me."

Rory was impacted by the practicality of all he said. He surprised her more everyday. The pragmatic way he was about business, the responsibility he seemed to shoulder with minimum effort. She wanted him to keep talking. "How about my book? Will you have to deliver it?"

Jess shook his head. "Before we continue this, can you tell me where I am going so that I make sure my goddaughter gets fed?"

Rory smiled, almost shyly. She had forgotten about food in the intimate atmosphere of the car, in listening to him talk about the business he obviously loved. Quickly she tried to backtrack to thinking about what she wanted to eat.

"There is a coffee shop with a good lunch menu not far from here, it's only a few blocks away."

Jess pulled out of the parking spot and took off in the direction she indicated. As he drove she couldn't help but stare at him. She was amazed by him, more than she had thought possible, his consistency, practicality, all of the things that make someone a good partner in life, but the package was wrong. He still looked like the bad boy from her youth. Maybe that wasn't all bad. She had to mentally restrain herself from reaching up and touching him. As if she had to assure herself it was all real. He seemed so changed, but she didn't feel like she was very different from the teenage girl she had been when they met. She started to question her own evolution. Had she grown, was she a better person, a different person? The thought startled her. She didn't feel very different. Jess seemed like someone who had grown. He might still have so much of what he was, but the way he did things was so grown up. She liked this Jess, every time she saw him, every time she talked to him on the phone, she liked his more. He was a better version of everything she had ever admired about him. Everything that had ever attracted her to him seemed to have grown more attractive.

She was left speechless, but yet felt the need to say something.

"Do you think naming her Lorelai would be too crazy?


	32. Chapter 32

A/N - Since it has been a while since I posted regularly, I thought I would give you another chapter. The writing is going smoothly, so I hope to keep up the posting. A little more exposition and some time hopping.

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Chapter 32 - Jess

Jess could feel her gaze on him. God he wished he knew what this woman was thinking. Knew a way to get through to her that he was in this relationship for the long run, that he had changed and wouldn't quit and run as he had before. He knew that telling her these things was not the way to go. Words meant nothing unless they were backed up by actions.

Her questions about his car amused him, a slight smile crossed his lips. She seemed so surprised that he would drive a practical car. What she had said was true, this was more of a family car than a leather jacket car, but it served him, was practical and was safe. He was glad it was safe. Driving around your future godchild and her mother needed to be done in a car that could be counted on. He was lost in his thoughts when she commented.

"Do you think naming her Lorelai would be too crazy?"

It took him a quick second to catch up with what she had asked. His first reaction was that he had no idea.

"I don't know. Naming her after her mother seems to be a family tradition, Lorelai the third…it's interesting."

"The fourth…it would be Lorelai the fourth."

"I thought your grandmother's name was Emily?"

'"It is, mom was named after my Grandfather's mother, Lorelai Gilmore Gilmore."

"Ok, I am not going to ask about the Gilmore Gilmore, but wow, I didn't realize that your mother was a junior." His tone was slightly mocking in jest.

"So, what do you think? Lorelai the fourth?"

"I think it's a big name to live up to. If anyone could be the next Lorelai Gilmore, it would surely be a daughter of yours."

Jess followed Rory's directions to the restaurant. The conversation seemed to have stalled a bit, no, a lot. He didn't know what to say, his mind was reeling with possibilities that were light years away. Thinking of names for a child that would be his. Where he would have a true say in what it was named. Would he want a Jess Jr. or would he want a boy named anything but his own name? He helped Rory from the car. Her belly was much more notable and she wasn't as agile getting out of the car. He attempted to let go of her hand when they got out of the car, but she didn't release his. Holding her hand, being attached to her in some way felt right.

They walked into the restaurant hand in hand, he pulled out her chair like a gentleman and they worked together on the contract, revising the terms, talking about work and books. When it came to those things the conversation flowed easily, there were no stalls, there was no awkwardness. At one point in the conversation Jess looked up from his food and Rory was focused on her meal and the contract she was reading at the same time. As if she felt his gaze she looked up at him and when their eyes met, she smiled. Jess smiled his crooked smile back and reached out and took her free hand that was resting on the table.

Her eyes darted to his hand holding hers and back to his with a question.

"You know I am here, right? I need you to know that, whatever, whenever, I am here, for you for Lorelai Jessica…" he paused realizing that had just come out of his mouth, a name he had been tossing around in his head. What he would name her if she were his. He tried to brush it off by continuing to talk.

"Rory… I know this is hard for you, I know that this was not your plan, not the life that you had laid out for yourself, and I know that we haven't talked about what happened at your house that night. If you don't want to talk about it, it's fine, but know that I meant what I said." He squeezed her hand trying to communicate the strength of his words. "I know they are just words… and alone they don't mean much, but I swear that they are the truth, at least my truth. I know it's a lot. I am not pressuring you…actually I am more trying to give you comfort in knowing that you can count on me. You and that little bean in there, can count on me, and when you are ready, we can talk."

"Okay."

Jess, didn't know whether to be disappointed or relieved. Her only response was "ok." He couldn't imagine everything she must be thinking or feeling, so he left it there. And they went back to business.

 **Three months later**

Jess looked across at Rory, they were sitting in the same coffee shop they had sat in every month for the last four doctors visits. Once a month he came up to Hartford and met her for the appointment. The pattern followed the same script. They would see the doctor, verify that everything was fine and then they would have lunch. They would talk about the progress of the editing of the book and how things were going with the publisher and plan for the release.

This time, things were a bit different. Jess was going to accompany her back to Stars Hollow. Rory had decided that she needed to live on her own. As a compromise, Luke and Lorelai had persuaded her to live in the apartment above the diner instead of paying rent, at least until the book was published. Luke had called Jess asking him to keep Rory busy for the day shopping for stuff for the nursery. He had been secretly working on the apartment, not letting her see it, thinking that it was still full of storage and making her think they were trying to make excuses to keep her and the baby in the house. In reality the apartment had had some minor modifications done to it. The bathroom had been redone and updated, the kitchen updated, and the nursery furnished. The whole place had been refurbished, Emily and Lorelai had worked on it together. Jess was in on the whole thing. The only person who knew nothing was Rory.

His job was to deliver her to the apartment by six that evening. It was only two in the afternoon and it was only a half hour drive into Hartford. Lorelai had driven Rory in for the appointment, stayed and left, an excuse about another "emergency" at the Inn and convinced Rory to stay and shop while Jess graciously offered to drive her home. It was all part of the plan. Jess was trying to play it cool. He didn't want to ruin the surprise. He hated keeping things from Rory. Over the last few months their relationship had grown, had changed. Things were still slightly awkward when they saw each other but otherwise, he felt that they were progressing nicely.

Jess had gotten used to getting texts from her at any random moment during the day, she would text him what she was thinking, a new book idea, a new baby name idea, colors for the nursery. She texted him when she freaked out that the ultrasounds could be wrong and that she might end up having a boy instead of a girl. He smiled every time he saw her name pop up on his screen. He had been able to funnel her ideas back to Lorelai so that the nursery and baby things were decorated in Rory's taste and the way she wanted.

He enjoyed the friendship and trust they were building. He knew that he needed to have that foundation with her before she would trust him with her heart again.

"So where were you thinking of shopping today?"

"Jess, in reality, I am tired, this belly is getting exhausting."

"Only seven weeks to go, you can make it." Jess looked at Rory and was mesmerized by her radiance. She seemed to be more beautiful each time he saw her.

"I know, you heard the doctor, after the next appointment, I have to come in every week until she is born. If she is a she, she better be a she."

"Rory, stop! We already discussed this, both ultrasounds and the 3D all said it was a girl. And if by some strange miracle or magic it is not, we will deal with it then."

"But, I wanted to buy the green nursery stuff even though I wanted the turquoise and you convinced me to get the girly color, I could have gone neutral."

"Rory, look, you told me to tell you when you were acting crazy, you are acting crazy. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter what color you chose, if its wrong we fix it. Take a deep breath, and tell yourself that it is all going to be fine and that we can fix any problem."

Jess watched as Rory took a deep breath, she closed her eyes and tried to calm her obsessiveness. When she opened them again it was with calm.

"Thank you! You always know how to bring me down from my ledge." She smiled and Jess's heart skipped a beat. He felt like he was drowning, every look she gave him, every time she texted or they spoke on the phone, he felt himself falling deeper and deeper in love with her. He was having a harder time keeping his face neutral when he was with her, keeping his feelings in check and not screaming them from the rooftops. Not leaning in and kissing her when she was close.

"So, instead of shopping, since you are tired, why don't we see a movie, just relax a little."

"You know what, that sounds great! What time am I supposed to be home for my surprise?" Rory asked with a twinkle in her eye."

"You think I didn't know they were planning me a surprise. It must be a baby shower. My mom is so obvious!"

Jess smiled and nodded. " Six." Rory laughed and Jess bit his tongue hoping that she wasn't aware of the bigger surprise. There was a baby shower scheduled for two weeks from now, but it was best to keep it to himself. He himself had told her to "wait until the baby shower" to buy many of the things she kept trying to buy. He hoped that Luke had been better at keeping the secret than Lorelai.

"The movies it is, it is too warm to go shopping anyway. Whose idea was a summer baby. I am not sure I can handle another seven weeks, and it's not even summer yet."

Jess helped her out of her seat and as he was an older couple stopped them "Congratulations on your baby, keep loving each other the way you do and you will be like us in fifty years."

Rory smiled and was about to say something when Jess put his hand over hers quieting her. "Thank you" he replied.

"Yes, thank you!" she replied, threading her fingers through his, and nodding as the couple walked away.

"We wouldn't want to ruin their illusion," Jess justified, he had thought she was about to explain, he felt warm all over when she had just agreed. Sometimes it seemed like they were on the same page and it hurt him immensely that they were not together even when in all other aspects they were together. He wondered if, with all that was going on she was aware of that.

"No, we wouldn't," Rory smiled at him for the tenth time that afternoon. He squeezed her hand, guiding her from the cafe.


	33. Chapter 33

A/N: This chapter got very long, so I split it. You will get this part now and the other half from Rory's POV as chapter 34. Thank you for all the encouragement and reviews. It keeps me motivated to write.

Chapter 33 - Rory

Time seemed to both drag and fly when you were pregnant. There was an expiration date on the time unlike any other activity in life and Rory felt the pressure of the deadline. And it was not a deadline that was set in stone. It could come early, it could come late. Rory didn't like unpredictability, she preferred things to be known. The last few months had brought on a slew of unknowns, much to Rory's chagrin. There were a few things that were stable; her mom, Luke, and Jess.

Jess, she thought, as she looked over at him as he drove her home, she was surprised but at the same time she wasn't because he had told her from the beginning that he would be there. That he would help her, take care of her, the baby, and wait for her. She was surprised because that was not the Jess she knew. The Jess she knew had been unreliable, uncommitted and unpredictable. This Jess was completely the opposite. Since the first doctors appointment he had accompanied her to every appointment. The doctors and nurses had made the mistake the first time assuming he was the father, he had never corrected them nor shied away from the responsibility of the instructions or advice he was given when they assumed that they were a couple.

It felt good, it felt like she wasn't alone in all of this, people didn't look at her like an unmarried single woman when she went to the doctor or when they went to eat afterwards. In Stars Hollow it was different. The town knew her and when it came out that she was pregnant and after Taylor put it on the agenda of the town meeting, all was normal again. No one looked at her with pity or asked who the father was, no one treated her differently in a bad way, just in good Stars Hollow ways. She never was without a seat, people came out of the woodwork unnecessarily to help her cross the street. It was over the top but it was home. It was different when she went anywhere else and so for those few hours once a month when she was with Jess, it felt like they had a little family and like she was just a normal woman in love expecting a child with a father who wanted it as much as she did.

Her thoughts returned to the old couple at the restaurant wishing them well, she thought of how at first, she had wanted to clarify things but then Jess's hand on hers had changed her perspective. She could live in the fantasy a little longer. Forget about the father of her child who was marrying another woman any time now. Forget about the fact that she was thirty-two years old, living at home and pregnant. Forget her career that might be showing signs of life, but not was determined yet. For those few minutes she could enjoy the fantasy.

Jess had told her he would wait and he had, there had been no pressure, just support. She smiled thinking about him in cahoots with her mother for her baby shower. Even that relationship was oddly working these days. When they all met up for the doctor's appointments, Lorelai treated him normally, not with the disdain that she had for years whenever Rory was in the picture. It seemed like at long last her mother had forgiven Jess for wrecking the car and landing her in the hospital, and for leaving her with a broken heart at her graduation.

"Penny for your thoughts?" She heard Jess query as she felt the pain of the graduation phone call where he had said nothing and she had told him she "thought" she "might" have loved him.

"You had to start talking now, right now? You couldn't have asked two minutes ago?" She laughed at her own exasperation.

"Ok, Penny for your thoughts from two minutes ago?" He looked at her out of the corner of his eye and she just laughed.

"Was what you are thinking that bad?" Rory didn't know how to answer that question.

"I was thinking about how well you have been getting along with mom and how she seems to have forgiven you for the car accident and graduation." Her voice trailed off after the last.

"Huh…" then in a quiet voice, he asked her the more important question, "have you?"

Rory looked up at him stunned, she hadn't expected him to ask that, mainly because she thought that the answer was more than clear.

"Jess, I forgave that a long time ago. I mean the accident, there is nothing to forgive, never was, it was just that, an accident, but the graduation, prom, all that, I think that when you brought me that copy of your book, and I read it, and understood you better, realized where you were at, it all made sense and I did forgive you. But if I am being completely honest…" she realized that she had to say things that were easier said in the darkness of the car, when she didn't have to look him in the eye "…if I am being one hundred percent honest, every time you show up, do what you say you are going to do, make a plan with me a month out, I am reminded more and more of who you are and forget who you once were." Her voice was quiet, she was telling him that she acknowledged the change, she saw it and valued it.

"It's nice to know, nice to hear Rory. Just know that this is who I am now, someone you can count on."

As they neared Stars Hollow she began to feel the excitement of the surprise. She started wondering who was going to be there, the regulars of course: Ms. Patty, Babbet, Gypsy, Lulu, Liz, Lane, Mrs. Kim. She wondered if it was a whole town thing or just a girl thing. Pulling into town everything was quiet. It was evening and it all looked normal. Ms. Patty was standing in the doorway of her studio leading a class and she waved at them. Rory saw Babbet out with Morey for their evening stroll, cat in tow. Rory's suspicions grew.

"I thought you said this thing started at six? Why is everyone out like there is nothing going on?"

"I said I needed to have you back in town by six, that is all I said, if you recall. Come on, your mom wanted me to take you straight to the diner, she said something about going through some boxes of stuff to get out of the apartment."

"That's why she wanted me back here at six, so she could dump all my stuff on me, and here I thought it was a surprise." Rory could feel disappointment settling in. Jess just stayed quiet. She wanted to feel special, she wanted to think that she deserved some kind of surprise baby shower. Instead she was summoned home to sort the remnants of her life that was working out to be very different from what she had anticipated. She started mentally cataloguing the various locations the boxes had come from as she mounted the stairs toward the apartment. The stuff from London, she realized she needed to save that stuff for last. It was going to be the hardest to go through.

"Mom, you up here? You are not going to believe what I thought…" Rory opened the door and stepped through, the first thing she saw was Luke, her mother and grandmother standing right in front of the door. From behind, she felt Jess's hands on her, covering her eyes with a bandana.

"Jess, mom, what is this?" She felt chills go down her spine as Jess whispered in her ear

"Your surprise."

"First of all young lady, lets just say that your sense of purpose coupled with your maternal nesting instincts have made this surprise nearly impossible to pull off. We had run out of excuses to keep you out of this place. But Luke and I knew that you needed a place of your own and that the way it was wasn't worthy of you, and our new granddaughter…"

"And great granddaughter…" Emily piped in, "although I wanted to buy you a house…" she muttered barely under her breath.

"And knowing that you would not take a gift like a house when you had not earned it because it is who you are, we decided that a little update to the apartment was in order. The blindfold is because it is a small space and since there is no way for you to see one spot at a time without seeing it all as you pass, we decided to blindfold you in between reveals, in true reality tv show fashion."

Rory listened to her mom ramble, she couldn't believe how ungrateful she had been, she had been worried about a baby shower and her parents were surprising her with an apartment. She wondered how they had decorated the apartment, she could feel her excitement rising.

She felt Jess's hands on her waist directing her to the first location. For a moment she forgot that they were there for a surprise. She burned where he touched her and she was caught up in the sensation and when he tried to move his hands to remove the blindfold, she put her hands over his protesting their removal.

"I need to take off the blindfold" he whispered close to her ear. She moved her hands let his free. She couldn't see, so didn't notice the faces of all the other people in the room at their little exchange.

Jess removed the blindfold and Lorelai, Emily, Luke and Jess all yelled "SURPRISE!"


	34. Chapter 34

A/N - I hope you enjoy Rory's surprise, if I could draw, I would show you how the apartment appeared in my head. Thanks for the reviews, happy reading.

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Chapter 34 - Rory

And Rory was surprised. They led her to her bedroom area first, it was the area that used to house Jess's old bed, it was closest to the bathroom. Where there once was a single bed and a dresser was now a queen size bed built into the end of the room. It was up on some sort of platform maximizing the space. Underneath was rows and rows of built in book shelves with her entire collection of books from all over the world. The bed was made up in white and above the foot of the bed was a flatscreen tv mounted on the wall. There were reading lights above the head of the bed and against the opposite wall, under the window was a long shelf, with more book storage and a place where she could put her laptop, her phone, plugs, and any other little things. It was like a bed sized window seat, where she would almost never have to leave. Above the bed were even more bookshelves lined with more of her books and some she that were not hers but that she had seen before.

She looked at her grandmother. "Those are grandpa's first editions."

She saw the tear in Emily's eye. "He wanted you to have them."

"Wow just wow!" She made to turn around but her mother stopped her. "Jess replace the blindfold please, and on to the next area."

Once again Jess's warm hands were on her waist guiding her she knew the layout of the apartment, so she thought that she was prepared for what was next, the kitchen.

She was not prepared for the kitchen she saw when she opened her eyes. In place of the long counter and table that had made up the kitchen before, there was a small U shaped kitchen with granite counter tops. The closed part of the U faced the bedroom and the opening of the U opened to a small table that sat four. It made a small island type workspace that looked out over the living room space that had also been redone. In place of the old sofa was a new sectional, it was small but comfortable looking, it sat facing the wall that used to be Luke's old room, another television hung there with a consul underneath with her entire DVD collection and all of the electrical equipment needed for tons of movie nights. The entire living space had been painted in white with neutral accents, everything classic, and from the look of it quality.

"This is gorgeous, wow, amazing what you did with this space Luke!" Acknowledging the silent man who was more of a father to her than her father.

"It was your mom's design, I am just the labor." He raised his hands, mocking the accusation that he was in any way involved.

"Besides, the place needed an update, the last time it saw a renovation was when this one moved in." His head indicating Jess.

Rory laughed, "Yes, I remember the falling plaster…wait, how did you do all this with no falling plaster?"

"Very carefully…and very slowly…" her mother replied.

"And very late at night," added Luke.

"You have always slept soundly, with this pregnancy, you are dead to the world, so we took advantage."

Replacing the blindfold she was led to the next area, this time she felt Jess grab her hand and guide her to the final location. When she opened her eyes, she was on the other side of the wall that used to be Luke's room. There was a new wall which they informed her housed a walk in closet/storage area and in this smaller space was a nursery. A beautiful classic, simple nursery with a small dresser/changing table, a crib and a chair, a beautiful antique looking rocking chair that was perfect for late nights. There was a rug on the wooden floor, a book shelf with baby books and a slew of baby toys. There was still room for other items but it was neat and tidy and perfect. An ideal space for Rory and her new baby. In the room was also a basinet that Lorelai told her was to keep next to her bed until the baby was ready for the crib. Every nook and cranny was utilized for storage. The apartment was small and it had been made to be super functional and the perfect mix of modern and classic.

Finally they let Rory wander around the entire space and as she did she found that the walk in closet was a wonder with more than enough space for her stuff, without crowding her small room. Her mom had moved all of her clothes into the closet and all the stuff they had already purchased for the baby was already tucked into the organized drawers. There were smaller hanging areas for baby clothes that Luke informed her were adjustable and that they could move to suit the baby as she grew. Rory was in awe of all that she saw. Her bedroom had her desk from home against the wall with her laptop and stuff ready to go. They had done so much so she could have her own space. Even the bathroom had been modernized and a long counter was added in place of the pedestal sink. Somehow Luke had even reconfigured the space to include a bathtub instead of just the shower that was there before.

"The only thing I couldn't find room for was a washer and dryer but I made room downstairs off the storage room behind the soda shop area, so you don't have to go to the house to do laundry."

With tears in her eyes she looked at the people in her life that were her support.

"Mom, I don't know what to say, this is amazing. This is too much. I was happy to move in here as is, maybe some paint."

"I know, but I did this once, remember, I know you need your own space. Space where you can learn to be the mom you will be. This is temporary, I know, but it needed to be a nice space for my grandbaby and it was a group effort. Plus it's an extra guest space for April once you move out."

Rory ran and hugged her mom. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

She turned to Luke, "Thank you!" She enveloped him in a huge hug. He hugged her awkwardly, as was his way when he was overwhelmed.

"You know I would do anything for you kid." She wiped the tears from her eyes at Lukes words, she knew they were true. Finally, she turned to her grandmother;

"I can see your taste everywhere, some of this furniture looks like yours."

"Well, I closed up the Hartford house when I left for Martha's Vineyard, year round, those items were just sitting there unused."

"It doesn't matter, thank you! Thank all of you!"

Finally, she turned to Jess, "you knew about this the whole time and said nothing. These rooms resemble half of the ideas I ran by you.

Jess laughed and smiled at her, "and I requisitely forwarded every idea text to Lorelai so that this surprise not only could happen, but also so that it was to your liking and not just their taste. Of course I kept the secret, you deserved an amazing surprise."

She looked at him suddenly bashful, "thank you, it was a wonderful surprise." Rory meandered through the rooms taking in the details. She knew it would take a long while before she was able to appreciate every detail of what they had done for her. She walked back to her room where the first editions were and ran her fingers over their titles. She realized that the desk chair was her grandfather's chair reupholstered to match the decor. Though modernized it was not new.

As if on cue, the family decided to leave.

"Hun, we need to get home now, give you some time to enjoy all of this. All of your clothes are in the closet, your toiletries are in the bathroom just like you had them set up at home. You are fully moved in, so you can stay the night here tonight with no worries."

Luke chimed in "the fridge is stocked with the foods you have been craving and the cupboards as well, although I took the liberty of stocking some healthier foods as well. There are plenty of apples. But just come downstairs for breakfast if you don't feel like what you have here."

Rory went to the cupboard and found pop tarts, as well as an organic, cane sugar version. She laughed out loud. Luke had never stopped trying to take care of her.

"Thank you, a million times thank you! I don't have words." She hugged each one in turn. She turned to Emily, "thank you Grandma, I know it must have been hard giving up some of Grandpa's stuff."

"He would have wanted you to have it…" she trailed off, keeping her composure in true Emily fashion.

The three of them left and Jess stood there with a grin.

"I am glad you liked your surprise. I have another housewarming gift for you, but I left it in the car, I didn't want to give away the surprise. I will be right back.

Jess walked out and Rory stood looking around in shock. She was still in disbelief. She thought she was going to have to fight tooth and nail to move out, they seemed to stall her at every step and the whole time they were planning this for her. It was amazing. She felt loved and cared for, and calmer than she had in a long time. So many of the worries she had were suddenly gone.

Jess returned with a small gift bag. "It's not much, but it fits your collection." Rory opened the bag and inside was a first edition hard cover book signed by the author. "How to Lose a Girl in 10 Ways. by Jess Mariano.

"Your new book Jess? I am so impressed. And just so you know, this is so much more than 'not much."" Rory went to the table of contents are started looking at the chapter titles.

"Don't read it now, I would prefer if you waited till I left, I would feel awkward if you read it while I was here. But please start with the dedication page."

Rory's eyes widened as she looked up at him, "you dedicated your book to me?"

Jess just grinned and in a soft, almost whisper claimed "I dedicated all of my books to you. I just wrote your name this time."

Rory slowly opened the book to the dedication. In print she read "For Rory Gilmore, who has inspired everything I write, everything I am, and everything I hope to become…and to my goddaughter who I promise to love with all of my heart, as if she were my own."

Under the dedication, in his own hand Jess had written, "I loved you then and I never stopped loving you! I promised to wait until you are ready and I will, but I need you to know, I am in, all in."

Tears welled up in Rory's eyes, she looked at the man in front of her, so little of the boy remained, and in his place was an admirable, honest, trustworthy man. A man who loved her, and who she realized, had never stopped loving her.

Rory opened her mouth to say something, anything, but words failed her, words who were her best friend, abandoned her like they often did when she stared him in the eye.

"I don't want to wait anymore…" she finally managed to whisper.


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter 35 - Jess

Jess had always planned on giving Rory the book before the baby came. He knew that though he had told her to wait, his heart couldn't handle it forever, and at some point he needed to tell her, she had to know. He wasn't sure when he would give her the book, but when he saw her grandfather's first editions in her room, he realized it was time. Putting his heart out there was not easy, it went completely against his self preservationist nature. However, without the risk, he knew he couldn't wait forever. Rory had always run from him. He wasn't sure what it was or why it was, but from their first encounter, she ran from what she felt for him. First it was Dean and then Logan, but in between, he knew he had screwed up. He had her, she was his, and he blew it. The knowledge of that fact would haunt him until she was his again.

So when she whispered "she didn't want to wait anymore," at first he did nothing. He was in shock at what she said, he had hoped to evoke a response from her with the dedication, but expected, that in true Rory fashion she would have to ponder over it. Instead, she stood in front of him with her bright blue eyes, staring at him with a look he hadn't seen from her in years. A look of trust, of fascination.

At last his brain caught up with the beating of his heart, "are you sure?" He didn't want to act and then scare her.

"Yes, very sure." Her voice was barely a whisper, he came closer to her. Placing his hands on her waist. His stomach nearly brushing hers.

"You know that if I kiss you right now, it is going to be the first kiss in a lifetime of kisses. This is it for me Rory; are you ready for that?"

"Yes, I have been, I just didn't know how to tell you, how to bring it up…" she looked shyly at the ground and he took her chin in his hand and forced her to look at him.

"I love you Rory!" His words were low but firm and sure.

"I know" was her reply. Jess felt disappointment at her words. He didn't want to pressure her, but declaring his feelings and having her no return them hurt. He looked away trying to contain the hurt. He knew that his love for her was enough and that he would win her love again.

"Jess?" His name on her lips forced him to look at her again.

"I love you too. In some way, I have never stopped loving you." When he heard the words come from her mouth, he couldn't help himself, in a single motion he had her hugged tight against him and his mouth covered hers. He tried to go slow, he tried to make the kiss soft and intimate, but he couldn't help himself. He was overwhelmed by the love he felt for her.

He felt like he was going too fast and too intense but her response matched his. They fell back onto the couch, his hands roaming up and down her sides, her hands buried in his hair. It was like they were teenagers again.

The thought of his uncle checking on them every ten minutes all those years ago, in this same apartment made his smile and chuckle despite the intensity of the situation.

Rory pulled back and looked at him. "What's so funny?"

"Memories, Uncle Luke, this apartment, you, me, the couch."

Rory quickly caught up with his thoughts, "kind of like déjà vu."

He couldn't keep his hands or lips off of her and whispered, as he kissed her neck, "exactly."

As he went about his work, placing small kisses along her jaw line and her ears, down her neck, as his hands roamed her back, sliding under her shirt and feeling her soft skin, Rory barely managed to speak.

"But this time…we're alone." He listened as he concentrated on working his way from one ear to the other. He felt her throat vibrate when she continued, "and no one is going to walk in on us, this time."

"MMhmm…this time…" he agreed as he continued with his work.

"And there is a big bed in the other room…"

When those last words registered, Jess stopped short. He didn't want to stop but the immensity of her words impacted him.

"Are you sure?" He searched her eyes and she nodded. "Can we?" was his next question as he motioned to the baby belly between them.

"From what I understand, yes. Just carefully." Rory looked slightly bashful and broke eye contact once again.

Jess was unsure, he loved her and wanted to be with her more than anything, but the fact that she was seven months pregnant seemed to make things slightly more complicated than they would have been otherwise.

His thoughts went to the months that had passed, how he had been with her every step of the way. He thought of the night they had kissed in her kitchen and his fascination with the beginnings of her belly. He touched the baby bump at every opportunity, a chance to feel close to his god daughter as well as a chance to touch Rory without excuse.

He stood up from the couch and held his hand out to her. He led her to the bedroom, to the bed. A new bed with no memories, only those to be made. He set aside the rush and hurry that he had initially felt and with infinite care and love he slowly loved her.

He loved her in a way that encompassed every emotion he had felt since the first time he saw her. He loved her mind and it agileness, he loved her face and it beauty, her hair and the silky darkness that had kept him away from brunettes for years. He was reverent before the shapeliness of her motherhood, womanhood, and the amazing way in which it had transformed her from simply beautiful to amazingly stunning.

The meetings of their bodies and their hearts was slow and sensual, taking all of the time in the world, in what for them was new; a first, in hopefully, a lifetime of firsts.

And when they had completely partaken in the beauty that is physical love between two people with an existential connection, they lay in each other's arms, Jess with his hand resting protectively over the child that was his in his heart and they slept. Finally at rest, all of the worries and concerns and hurts, all of the misunderstandings, miscommunications, all of it, for this peaceful moment, gone. Their spirits at peace in the security of eachother, their feelings for one another and the joy and happiness that enveloped them.

Jess woke up to the sun shining through the window. He woke up happier than he had on any other day in his life. The woman he loved was laying in his arms and visions of a future began to play out in his imagination. He rubbed her belly, he kissed her neck and inhaled her scent, that, this morning held traces of his cologne. She stirred under him and turned to face him.

"Good morning, beautiful." He smiled at her and she grinned and turned to face him, tucked her head in his chest and fell peacefully back to sleep. If he had not already been lost in love with her, he would have gotten there in that moment. A moment so sweet and innocent, a near perfect moment, that reminded him of everything that was Rory.

He was laying on the side of the bed that opened into the room, very carefully he managed to untangle himself from her and left her resting. Jess looked at the clock, it was almost eight in the morning. He decided to run down to the diner and bring breakfast up to them. He quickly threw on some clothes, splashed water on his face and brushed his teeth. He made his way down the stairs and managed to sneak into the diner without anyone looking his way. He wrote out the order behind the counter and was turning to put it on the order wheel when the bell above the door rang. Out of habit he turned toward the door.

There, framed in the door was the last person he expected to see, and the last person he wanted to talk to at the moment. He hadn't seen him in over ten years, his blonde hair shown in the early morning light, he stepped up to the counter and looked Jess right in the eye.

"Two coffees, black please, to go." Jess wrote the order on the slip, trying to hide his nerves. The man met his gaze, quizzically, as if he recognized him, but didn't know where to place him. Jess put his order on the wheel, took the man's money, rang him out, served the coffee in to-go cups and turned to Cesar.

"Call me upstairs when it's up, ok" he said in a low voice. He watched the man walk and with his coffees and was rushing through the curtain back upstairs when he ran into Luke. His heart was already racing and his palms had started to sweat.

Luke leveled Jess with a knowing smile as he saw him heading toward the stairs, until he saw the worried look on Jess's face.

"What's wrong, is Rory ok?

"Rory is fine, but you are not going to believe who just walked in."

"Who?"

"I am almost positive it was Logan."

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A/N: So I considered making this chapter mature and changing the rating, but as much as I tried, it did not want to come out that way. I felt that, at the end of the day, the best representation of what Jess and Rory have had to do to get to this point was to put in the sentimental as opposed to the sensual. I hope you agree, or at least that you like it. Let me know.:)


	36. Chapter 36

A/N: I know some of you hate that Logan came back, but I hope you enjoy the way I deal with him, at least this time. Happy Reading.

Chapter 36 - Rory

Rory woke up and Jess was gone. A panic gripped her chest and adrenaline started pumping through her body. She sat up and was about to jump out of bed when common sense once again ascended over her and her thoughts started to fall in order. A memory of seeing him this morning in a sleepy state came over her. She smiled, realizing that he had not left her, how could she think that he would.

He was in the restroom, or the kitchen, he had to be, she listened and heard nothing, no sound that might indicate that he was still in the apartment, no smell of food or coffee.

Coffee! There was a smell of coffee in the air, but it was Luke's coffee. _Of course, he's getting coffee from Luke's._ She smiled, she was going to have to get used to living over a diner. She smiled at how thoughtful Jess was and decided to get out of bed. She scooted to the edge, moving had become more difficult with each month, it was getting to an unbearable point. She sat on the edge of the bed and as she did, memories of last night flooded her brain; memories of her and Jess, and them together. She remembered how amazing it was to be with him. The infinite tenderness he had shown and the dedication to her he had shown in the physical and emotional. She was in awe of everything he had been to her.

Obviously, he wasn't her first, and when it came to boyfriends, and relationships, she had never felt like she had lacked. She had felt that the physical aspects of her relationships had always been exciting and enjoyable. But there was something about last night that was different. Something that went beyond the physical, something more than sex. She thought of the term "making love," to her it had always seemed antiquated and cheesy, and yet when she thought of what she had Jess had shared, it sounded exactly right.

"Making love," she tested the words out loud. She realized that making love and having sex were not the same, not close. Being over taken by desire or lust, or even a strong physical attraction, or hormones, was just the tip of the iceberg. What she had felt with Jess has superseded any previous sexual experience she had had. She had not just made love with him with her physical body, but rather with her emotions, her spirit, her entire essence had been involved.

She sat and pondered this new experience. Was it a one time thing she wondered, and in the wondering she felt her body respond to just the idea. She felt that yearning build up in her. _Where was Jess?_ It couldn't take that long to get coffee. She was on her way across the small apartment to the closet when the door opened and Jess stepped through.

"Rory, you need to call your mom!" Those were the words that popped out of his mouth, "now! or I will do it, but you need to tell her what you want her to do."

"Wait, what are you talking about…take a breath…slow down, now explain."

Jess's words were coming out incomprehensible. He went to the room grabbed his cell phone and called the number he now had for Lorelai.

He handed the phone to Rory, looked her in the eye and finally said something she understood. "Logan is here, he is on his way to your house."

"Rory's eyes widened, Logan, here? In Stars Hollow? How…Why… WHAT? Jess, he can't see me like this!" Her hands waving down over her obviously pregnant belly. He isn't dumb."

"He stopped into the diner and ordered two coffees from me to go. He didn't recognize me. But if he wasn't looking for you, what else would he be doing here first thing in the morning asking for two coffees. Luke is on his way over there to head him off, to give you some time to talk to your mom, but you need to talk to her now."

Rory looked at the phone in her hand and realized it was already talking to her. "Jess, Rory?"

Finally she put the phone to her ear. "Mom?"

"Rory, I could hear you talking in the background so I held on the line, what is going on. Why are you calling me from Jess' phone?"

"I don't have time to explain that right now. Logan is in town. He came into the diner and ordered two coffees to go, so Jess thinks he is on his way to the house. Luke should be right behind him trying to stall so we can get our story straight."

"Hold on, let me look out the window. Yup, there he is, just pulled into the driveway and Luke right behind him, what do you want me to do kiddo?"

"He can't see me like this, but I need to talk to him to figure out what he wants. Pretend I am working out of town with my publisher. It's half true and call my cell. He doesn't have the new number, which is why he stopped by. Have him use your phone, don't give him my number."

"Who saw him, recognized him?"

"Jess served him coffee this morning and recognized him, apparently, he didn't recognize Jess. Also, call Babbett, she needs to spread the news that no one is allowed to talk to him about me. I know I have not said who the baby's dad is, and this will make it obvious, but I can't have anyone in town spilling that I am here, or I imagine most know by now, that I am living above the diner."

"Yeah…" Lorelai said absently as her brain flew through the possibilities. "I gotta go hun, it looks like Luke is running out of steam."

Rory hung up the phone and prayed her mother had time to do everything she asked before she had to speak with Logan.

"So what are you going to tell him?" Jess asked as she handed him back his phone.

Rory slowly walked into her room and picked her own phone up off of the charger. She looked at it while her mind whirled trying to concentrate her thoughts before she had to confront Logan, if only by phone.

"First I need to find out why he is here. I need to know what his purpose is. Then hopefully I can persuade him that we don't need to see each other. If he flew here from London just for me, it might be hard to dissuade him, but if he drove up on a whim and has business in New York then I should be able to just make up that I am busy. No matter what I cannot let him talk himself into having to see me."

The phone rang, Rory looked down, it was her mom. She took a deep breath and whispered "show time."

"Hi mom, good morning, it's early here, why are you calling so early?" Hinting, so her mom would realize part of the out of town plan was that she wasn't in the same time zone

"That's right I forgot it is earlier where you are at. Did I wake you?"

"No, I was up, here in California, we have some media stuff to do today, so I had to get up earlier than usual, but what's up, something wrong?"

"That's right, I forgot that this time you were in California. You have a visitor here who wants to talk to you. He doesn't have your number, but I wanted to run it by you before I gave him the number, so I told him I would call you for him from my phone."

"Who?" Rory asked for show, she wasn't sure how much of the conversation would be overheard, so she wanted to keep it strictly business.

"Rory, it's Logan."

"Logan? Logan Huntzberger?" Rory said this at an almost surprised scream, hoping he would overhear.

"The one and only."

"I don't want to talk to him mom, can you tell him that."

Rory could hear her mom's voice telling Logan, "she said she doesn't want to talk to you."

"Tell him, we ended thing good and we should just let them be."

Again Rory could hear her mom repeating her message. Then she heard Logan's voice, "Well, I need to talk to her and it is important that I do it now."

"Hun, he says it's important." Rory was expecting that she would not be able to dissuade him through her mom but she had to try."

"Fine, pass him the phone."

"Rory?"

"Hi, Logan."


	37. Chapter 37

A/N - Thank you all for all of the wonderful feedback today. It keeps me motivated. I know I left you all with a cliffhanger and have had so much enthusiasm about it, that I decided to drop this chapter a little earlier than normal. As long as I have chapters written, I usually try to space them at least 24 hours. But here it is, early. I hope you enjoy. Review, Review, Review, Happy Reading.:) EC

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Chapter 37 - Rory

Rory heard his voice go from questioning to suave.

"Hey Ace!" And a part of her responded to the familiarity, to the feelings she had always felt when she heard him call her that. She shoved the sensations aside looking at the large bump out in front of her. Jess had sat on the couch, she wished he would have stayed so she could hold his hand, but she knew this was probably difficult for him as well.

"Logan… what's going on? What was so important?"

"I love you Ace!" Rory's heart jumped out of her chest. She had no choice but to say the first thing that popped into her head.

"You what?" Rory hoped her mother wasn't standing there watching Logan talk to her.

"Look, let's get together to talk. I am here on business in New York and being so close, I couldn't not see you so I came here to talk as soon as I had a free day."

"Didn't you hear my mom, I am out of town, in California actually. Anything you need to say to me you will have to do over the phone. I am sure that your schedule isn't going to allow you to travel all the way to California."

"Well, no, I am only free today, but how long will you be there, I might still be here when you come back."

"I will be traveling for the next few weeks from place to place. My book has a publisher and since I am a first timer, we are working on getting it placed with some of the larger chains."

"Really? Who published your book?"

"Truncheon books is publishing it, but they have backing with a larger publisher for widespread distribution."

"Truncheon, Truncheon, it sounds familiar, but I am surprised I can't place it."

"It is a small independent publisher based out of Philly, you probably can't place it because of that. But it probably sounds familiar because my old friend Jess Mariano is one of the owners, so I am sure I have mentioned it at some point."

She knew that Jess' name would impact Logan, he had the run in with him, but only the one time. Rory wasn't surprised that Logan hadn't placed Jess in the diner. He had the tendency of the rich to look through people instead of at them.

"Jess? The ex Jess?" She could hear the jealousy in his voice.

"Jess was an ex, yes." She chose her words carefully, she was trying to lie as little as possible. Everything she had said about the travel was true, she had just bumped up the dates a few months. She was traveling after the baby was born, in three months the baby would be about six weeks. They were already hammering out the schedule. Him being in publishing meant she couldn't make up blatant lies, he knew the industry too well.

"So whatever you need to say, you need to do it now, over the phone. We can't meet, and in all honesty, I really don't want to. I said all I had to say at the inn in New Hampshire." Rory was trying to be firm.

"Look, I have spent over six months without you. Without a phone call, without you calling to tell me you were going to be in London, without seeing you. I have come to the conclusion that I can't live without you. You wanted this secret clandestine relationship and I went along with it, because it meant I could see you. Say the word and I cancel my engagement with Odette and we get back together."

Rory thought back to how much she had hoped he would say that, then, at the inn, when she asked him if he was going to marry Odette. Even though she was the one who wanted to hide their relationship, she had hoped he would say that he wouldn't marry Odette and that he would wait for her to be ready for a real relationship. Despite his family, despite his obligations. But he hadn't said that, in fact, when asked he had only confirmed that marrying Odette was the dynastic plan.

But the excitement she thought she would feel at his words wasn't there. Instead flashbacks to their last night together seemed to fade into a fog, details were lost, feelings were muted. Instead, as bright as daylight, were the feelings she woke up with this morning. Feelings that cast a shadow over every other experience she had. Even the first. What happened last night was different from everything else and she realized that it was bigger than even a promise of a relationship with the father of her unborn daughter.

"You have to be kidding me Logan, I am sorry, but it is too little, too late. You didn't even bother to break up with her before you decided this. So keep her around in case I say no? You can't think I would take you seriously. You are not even free to offer me what you just did. You are still engaged. If you had even shown up yesterday, things might have been different, but things have changed. "

At that moment there was a knock on the door, Rory chose to use this moment to drive home her point.

"Jess" she called, "that must be the room service! Can you get the door, love!"

"Sure, hun, I will take care of it." Jess replied, answering the door to the delivery from Luke's.

She heard Logan's explosion on the other end of the line.

"Jess, Jess! I thought you said he was an ex?!"

"Exactly Logan…he was an ex… he isn't anymore."

"Rory, you are going to regret not accepting a life with me! It could have been amazing." Rory could hear the desperation in Logan's statement.

"I don't think so Logan. Ask your parents, I was never going to fit in your world. I want to do more with my life than go to tea and social functions. I am sure your princess will be a perfect fit. I wish you much happiness. When's the wedding, I will send a gift." Rory could not help but ask the last question, she was too curious.

"The wedding is in six weeks, in Paris." Logan's voice was quiet and defeated.

Trying to sound sincere and let go of the hostility she had just shown him, she said with all honesty, "Logan, for all that we had, all the years, know that I wish you a happy life, I do care what happens to you. Just know that I could not be happy in your life."

"Bye Ace." Was his almost inaudible response and the line went dead.

"Bye Logan." Rory spoke to the silenced phone and she set it on the table.

Jess had come to stand by her and she buried her head in his chest and cried. She cried for her loss and also for her freedom. Standing in that man's arms in the middle of the room made her cry for joy. She was sad about Logan, but as happy as she had ever been, as sure as she had ever been. Yet the overwhelming emotions left her sobbing.


	38. Chapter 38

A/N - A new chapter, it only took 8 days, I swear these things come in waves. Enjoy, review. Post again soon!

Chapter 38 - Jess

Jess was afraid, very afraid. The woman of his dreams was in his arms but she was an absolute mess. She was sobbing as if she had just been broken. He relived the last few minutes over and over in his mind. He tried to figure out what Logan must have been saying on the other side of the line.

It sounded as if Rory was trying to talk him out of seeing her, which he understood, he knew that she didn't want Logan to know she was pregnant. But what he was confused about what when she said "you what?" His nervousness had started to fade when she brought up Truncheon and the prospective travel schedule, then she had brought up his name. He liked the way she used semantics when she said that he "was an ex." He appreciated her brain more than anything. And when she acted like they were in a hotel room together answering room service, he happily obliged. Although they were not in a hotel and they were not getting room service in California, they had just spent an amazing night together.

Jess barely had time to think about their night. He had planned on waking Rory, up, feeding her, and hopefully taking her back to bed. However, rather than a perfect morning after, all hell had broken loose. Instead of the laid back morning he had in mind, they ended up in an adrenaline packed panic.

She had said something else that stuck in his head, she had told Logan that it was "too little, too late," and that if even yesterday would have made a difference. It sounded as if he had made her an offer of some sort and she had turned him down. The only thing different between today and yesterday was that they had been together last night.

As he held her, his mind could not help but go back to last night. It was like this bright light in a sea of dark days. He thought, _I made love to Rory, Rory and I made love._ And it became a mantra in his mind that he repeated, barely believing it was true.

Rory's sobs finally subsided and when he noticed their absence he looked at down into her eyes. They were red rimmed and still full of tears, but still the most beautiful eyes he had ever seen.

"You okay?" His tone was worried.

"I am not sure if you believe it or not, but in reality, these are happy tears." She had a smile on her face with her watery eyes.

"Happy tears sound like that?" The doubt and precariousness of the events that had just transpired, were evident in his tone.

"Apparently, I am just feeling a little overwhelmed and a little, to be honest, hormonal. Like I can't control how I am feeling. But really, I was crying because of relief and joy at being here with you, and that things seem to be resolving themselves. Also, insecurity at not knowing if I am doing the right thing keeping this child from Logan. I know it is his, but I am not prepared to have her be a part of the life that is the Huntzberger world. I sound like my mom now. Trying to keep me out of the Gilmore world."

"What did he say?" Jess was curious and even after the night they had spent together, he was a little uncertain about how she was taking the sudden appearance of Logan.

"Are you sure you want to know?" Jess nodded his head. He had to deal with it, she was here with him, but he had to be prepared, he knew that taking on Rory with all that was going on, he needed to be aware of the worst of it.

"He told me he loved me, and that if I took him back he would call off his engagement." Jess let out a deep breath. That was the worst, but another part of the conversation came to mind. _You are still engaged, you are not even free… When's the wedding? I will send a gift._

"He asked you to be with him, but he is engaged?" Relief washed over Jess, she was standing here in his arms and not packing her bags to be with Logan. He knew logically that she had written Logan off, but though they had talked about many things, Logan had not been a subject either of them was willing to discuss.

"Well, we were kind of together off and on since before he started dating her, it was always casual, only when I was in London. I didn't want a commitment with him. It would have never worked. He was there for part of my life but he wasn't the person I was meant to be with, or have a family with. He is marrying her as part of business dealings with his dad. But when they got engaged, it became very real. I broke things off… he came to find me…I broke things off definitively…he was still marrying her…and now, this little lady is on her way. But, I never imagined we could have anything real, even when he proposed."

Hearing that Logan had proposed struck something in Jess he hadn't expected. He had never really understood how she had ended up pregnant by the blonde dick, but it seemed that now was the time to hear and understand the story of Rory and Logan.

"When did he propose?" Jess tried to hide the nervousness in his voice. He realized he didn't do a great job when Rory started her explanation.

"Jess, it has nothing to do with now, don't worry…really! Logan proposed to me the night of my graduation party from Yale. I turned him down. I loved him, but I was not ready to settle down, I was just starting a career, he wanted me to move with him to California where he wanted to start a business. He was talking a bout renouncing the family business, but I couldn't…I needed to live a little first, before committing to settling down. I wanted to travel, to explore. I was not ready. And…even though I loved him, I don't know…it all seemed a little surreal, like it was part of an existence that wasn't mine, everything with him was over the top. I guess at the end of the day, I couldn't see a real life with him, everything was fairytale-esque."

Jess swallowed the idea that Logan had proposed, even back then, that he had wanted to marry her, wanted a life with her. It was hard to accept and at the same time he was relieved that she had turned him down. He thought of what her life could have been. He realized that the Rory he saw when she had dropped out of Yale would have been her new life.

"You didn't want to be the person you became when you dropped out of Yale?" He proposed.

"Exactly!" Rory laughed an amused type of laugh. "Jess, you always seem to know how to get to the heart of the situation. I had lived in that world, I didn't like myself…I was lost. I wasn't willing to risk going back there."

"So, how did you end up back with him after all that?" Jess was curious as to how a turned down proposal turned into a casual relationship.

"We met up with each other the first time I was in London for work about four years ago. About four or five months after we broke up, we had gotten back in touch. It was a comfortable relationship, a friendship. I was traveling, we were never in the same place. He had decided to not leave the business after all, I was the reason he was walking away. He fell in line and became the executive his father expected. But it was never like it had been. Something was missing from what we had the first time. This time the newness of it, the unknown wasn't there. But it became habit. A relationship that wasn't a relationship at all, just a place to sleep when I was in London and an old friend. At least that was how I saw it. I think he may have had a different point of view."

Jess leaned down and kissed Rory. He kissed her with all of the relief he felt, all of the love he had for her, and all of the promises he wanted to make to her, but knew she still wasn't ready for. He knew her, better than sometimes he understood. He could comprehend her motives, her realities. He understood how her upbringing made her doubt, how even his own rocky, inconsistent history with her made question his reliability. But what he did know what that all of the was different this time, and that he was able and willing to give her everything, and to make sure that she realized that with him, all of those doubts would have no place.

The kiss turned into a passionate reminder of the night they had spent together. An opportunity to relive the magic and see if what they felt that first time was real or just a novelty. There was more eagerness than the first time. Jess felt the need to erase from her mind the pain and insecurities of the mornings events. The need to show her his love and his promise all collided in a desperation that overwhelmed him and the tide of his emotions took her with him.

He had never imagined it could be like this. He had been with a number of women over the years and had never experienced what he had felt that night with Rory. It was an overwhelming sense of belonging. He wanted to be everything to her and give her all of himself. In return he felt that he was receiving more than he had ever received, he felt loved and as if the act of their loving was more…simply more. Even in the eagerness of this second time, he felt complete and whole. An experience so foreign he knew it would stay with him for the rest of his life. He knew that he had not been wrong in feeling that he had a special connection with Rory for the fifteen years he had known her. Something that drew him to her repeatedly. That made his heart race to see her and now his body hum to know her.


	39. Chapter 39

A/N Another little time jump - Happy Reading

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Chapter 39 - Rory

Rory opened the door to the apartment. It was the delivery man. He had a medium sized box that he had carried up the stairs.

"Ms. Rory Gilmore?"

"Yes?" In her mind Rory was doing somersaults. This should be the delivery of the first copies of her novel. The rest were set to be delivered to the bookstores on Tuesday, but it was Friday and the publishers had promised to have the first prints sent to her immediately. She stood in front of the delivery man.

"I have one more box downstairs. I couldn't bring the dolly up. Where can I set this?"

"She motioned to the wall next to the door, put them here please." As he set the box down, she glanced at the label, XYZ Publisher, Philadelphia, PA. She was ready to jump up and down and tried to remain calm as the delivery man presented her with a clipboard to sign for the books.

"Please sign this, while I get the other box." She quickly scrawled her name on the manifest and went in search of scissors. She needed to get the box open, she needed to see the reality that was her life as a published author. She had seen the proofs, but this was different. This was a box full of her own book. Her life's story in between those two covers.

She bent over to open the box, scissors in her hand, to cut the tape and as she did, she felt a pressure she hadn't felt before. A strong pain that gripped her stomach and made it felt like she was flexing muscles she didn't have. The word contraction popped into her mind. She thought of the books she had read on labor. She wasn't due for another two weeks, so she didn't panic. There were some fake contractions she remembered reading about. Braxton Hicks, she thought at the name came to her mind. Pregnancy had taken her once sharp brain and dulled it. As she rode out the contraction, she was amazed at the intensity of the pain. She caught her breath, and was finally able to stand up straight. The delivery man had just arrived at the top of the stairs again. She started to step back to allow him to set the second box on top of the first, and as she did, she felt a gush of liquid run down her leg.

The delivery man looked at her in shock! She had no idea what was running through his mind, but she hoped he didn't think she had just peed herself.

"Ma'am, I think your water just broke." Rory couldn't help but laugh at the obvious ridiculousness of the situation.

"I think you are right." She handed him the clipboard where she had signed for the books and started trying to think of what to do.

"Do you want me to call someone for help?" The delivery man seemed extremely concerned about her wellbeing. Her mind had gone blank once she felt the water flow down her leg. She still had two weeks…She couldn't have the baby now, she wasn't ready… The room wasn't ready, she hadn't unpacked all of the gifts from the surprise baby shower her mom had thrown her, which had been a legitimate surprise because she had been so thrown with the apartment that she hadn't even thought of the baby shower… She needed to sign and send out all the copies of the books that had been delivered… She had a Skype conference with a bookstore chain to promote her novel since she wasn't able to fly until after the baby… All of these thoughts rammed her mind, one after the other. Yet she just stood there and stared at the delivery man as if he had spoken to her in Greek or Chinese.

"Ma'am? Are you okay?"

Rory's brain finally registered what was being said.

"Actually, I don't think so, I think it is time to go to the hospital."

"Um…Ma'am, I don't think I can take you to the hospital…But…"

"No, no, of course, I know you cannot take me to the hospital…Haha! Um…could you please, on your way downstairs, ask for Luke, ask him to come up here? And thank you!"

The delivery man nodded in agreement and then left. Rory's mind finally slowed enough to make sense of what she needed to do. She went to the kitchen table where her phone sat, picked it up and dialed her mom. At that moment, Luke burst through the door.

"Is it time?" His normally calm voice boomed through the tiny apartment.

"Yes, I think so." Rory indicated toward the puddle of liquid on the floor.

A scream erupted from the phone in her hand, startling her. "I will be right there," was all she heard before the line went dead. She had forgotten about the phone in her hand, but Lorelai had answered as soon as Luke had come in and overheard everything.

Rory began making a checklist, out loud. "Clean the floor, change my clothes, get my bag…CALL JESS, I need to call Jess!"

Rory felt panic rising once again. She picked up the phone and was about to dial when another contraction wracked through her body. She grabbed the back of the chair, and leaned into the contraction, holding on until the pain once again subsided.

Luke was already executing her list. He seemed to know what to do. He had gotten some paper towels and was cleaning the mess on the floor. Rory felt embarrassed by the fact that he was doing that and tried to protest. "Luke, you don't…"

Luke interrupted her. "I have to do whatever is needed to make this easier for you." He finished his task, washed his hands and pulled out his own phone.

"Jess, it's time…yes, here with her…on our way in about five minutes." Luke turned to her, "where is your bag?"

Rory pointed toward the closet and Luke went in and came out with the bag she had packed two weeks ago as the book had recommended.

She was trying to remember what else was on her list when Lorelai came barreling in. Seeing Rory looking afraid and as white as a sheet in front of her, turned her mania into calm. She exchanged looks with Luke, Rory saw the exchange and began to recover. She wasn't alone.

"I'm fine mom, just trying to figure out what I need to do before I can leave."

Luke piped in, "the only thing left on your list was to change your clothes…you know…from the…" his voice trailed off.

When Luke reminded her, she became aware of the cold wet feeling coming from her pants. She started walking toward the closet to find clothes to change into. Her mom beat her there and came out with a pair of sweats.

"They are going to make you change as soon as you get to the hospital. You might as well be comfortable."

Rory nodded in agreement and started heading toward her room. Luke mumbled something about waiting downstairs, and took her bag. Rory changed her clothes and was walking out of her room when another contraction hit. Lorelai went to her daughter and rubbed her back as she rode out the contraction.

"How long since the last one?" Lorelai questioned when it was over, looking at her watch.

"Right before you walked in."

"Ok, so about 4 minutes, that's close. We better get going."

Lorelai walked around the room grabbing Rory's purse, her phone, a charger for her phone and her laptop with charger. She grabbed Rory by the hand and led her to the car. Luke had pulled it around the front of the diner and had everything ready to go.

"Are we ready?"

"As ready as we can be two weeks early." Lorelai responded, making everyone in the car laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation.

As Luke pulled away from the diner, Rory's phone rang in her purse that Lorelai was still holding. Lorelai handed her the phone.

"It's Jess!"

"Hi Jess..."

"Hey there, is everything ok now? Are you on your way?"

"Yes and Yes, now everything is much better" Rory took a deep breath and let it out. She felt like she had been holding her breath since all of this started and suddenly calmness came over her.

"It's going to be okay." Jess sounded so sure, she started to relax and feel like she was in control once again.

"I know"

"I'm already in the car, I will be there in three hours max. But don't worry about me, just worry about that baby girl."

"Ok, I will see you soon." She knew he told her not to worry, but she couldn't help feeling sad at the thought that he might miss this.

"Hey, just remember that I love you"

"I love you too."


	40. Chapter 40

A/N - Special shout out to Guest Nancy, who always leaves comments, but since not logged in does not allow me to respond to the reviews. Thank you for all of your comments and reviews. Hope you all enjoy this point of view. I am working on more. Happy Reading!

Chapter 40 - Jess

Jess was unpacking the box of Rory's book that had been delivered to him earlier in the day when he got the call. He had been busy and had wanted to enjoy the process of reveling in her success. He was so proud of her. Despite the pregnancy and all of the emotional drama, she had gotten it all done. Addressing the editing with the rewrites, the clarification, cover selection. Plus arranging all of the details for after the baby came. Truncheon published her book, but because they had made a personal deal, the middle man had been cut out in terms of an agent or manager. Therefore, Rory had been handling all of the details with Jess directly; he preferred it that way.

After the night they had spent together and the craziness of the next morning with the appearance of Logan, things had settled into a routine for them as they started their relationship. It had been five weeks of relative calm. Jess spent his weeks in Philly and on the weekends he would drive into Stars Hollow. It was a long drive, but well worth it. They would work on business, talk books, he helped with the last details for the nursery. He was trying to figure out a way to spend more time with her, but right now, it was just enough that they were together. He could pick up the phone and text or call her whenever she crossed his mind. It was a huge disparity from the years of forcing her out of his head whenever a shiny haired brunette crossed his path.

When the call came in, he dropped the box, ran upstairs to his apartment, picked up the bag he had packed the night before, and yelled to his partners! "Rory is in labor, not sure when I will be back, I will call you."

It was Friday, so he was ready to head out the minute he was done for the day. He tried to finish as early as possible to beat the traffic he was sure to hit in New York on his way north. All of the city dwellers headed out for the weekend. This was a little sooner than usual, which was good. According to the map app on his phone, the trip to Hartford was three and a half hours. Which he knew since he drove it for every doctors appointment. But he did not want to take any chances with his little girl arriving before he got there. _My little girl,_ the thoughts invaded his mind. Yes, she was his, if not by blood than by the fact that he had been there to see her heartbeat for the first time on that monitor and every ultrasound, and the fact that he was in love with her mother, always had been, and always would be.

He thought of Luke's rushed call, he got little information, except that Rory was in labor. Ten minutes had passed since then. He needed to talk to her, to make sure she was ok.

After their brief conversation he felt a little better. He knew he needed to remain calm for her, to reassure her instead of sharing his fear that he might miss the most important event in their life. He knew the drive was more than three hours, but he meant what he said, he would be there in three even if he had a break a few speed limits. The plan had been for him to spend the week she was due in Stars Hollow, this early arrival had surprised them all.

Jess only had to drive and he couldn't help but think as he did. The relationship that was developing between Rory and himself were things he could only have dreamed of. It was like playing house every weekend, it was something to look forward to. Since that first night, they had cooked together, read together, enjoyed music. He had helped her bring all of the gifts home from the baby shower and hang up the little clothes. She still hadn't settled on a name, but he knew that she would pick the right one when the time came. Jess enjoyed the little memories of the weekends. The way she looked sitting on the couch reading a book while tucking her hair behind her ear, or the way her brow creased when she was focused over the computer screen. The mile a minute way she talked with her mother, and the admirable way she seemed to know every song, every movie, and every book that came out in the last sixty years. He smiled at the fact that he came home every weekend to find her stashes of junk food, and in a very Luke like fashion, replace them with healthier food. But more than anything, it was the nights. Making love to her was amazing, in more ways than he ever thought possible, but that was not exclusive to the nights. The best part was sleeping with her cuddled against him. Feeling her next to him, or just waking in the morning knowing that she was within arms reach. In a short time he had already developed the habit of finding her, even when he was half asleep and on the nights he spent alone, a profound disappointment enveloped him, at whatever point in the night he realized that she was not there. Yes, life with Rory, had been exceptional, except for the little glitch with Logan, it was near perfect.

Logan, Jess thought, they should be seeing an announcement of his wedding in the paper any day now. And though Rory tried to hide it, he knew that she was looking for said announcement when she poured through the papers every weekend. As much as he wanted to believe in his little fairy tale, he also knew that at some point the fact that Logan was the true father of this baby and not him, would have to be dealt with.

Shaking the negative thought from his mind, he thought of the happiest moment he had lived with Rory in these last weeks. It had been two weeks after the first night. They had been sitting at the little table having breakfast. It was Saturday morning and they had two long days in front of them and Jess had looked up, there she sat looking like the goddess of fertility, literally glowing in her abundance and without a thought of hesitancy, he had said the words that were in his heart.

"You know I love you right?"

Rory looked up from her plate, she seemed to be a little surprised by the declaration, stated as a question.

"Yes, I know, it isn't the first time you have told me. You know I love you, right?" she said with emphasis on the "I" and a slightly mocking tone.

"I wasn't sure, you haven't said," Jess explained with seriousness.

Rory had stood up and walked over to his side of the table, she stood before him and looked down into his eyes.

"I have said it… many times."

"In the heat of the moment, in bed, yes, you have said it, but, I don't know, it just seems…kind of…maybe…I don't know, maybe just easy to say it, when we are…you know."

"So…" she suggestively intoned, "just because I said it in the heat of the moment, you think that I am being insincere?" She had her hands on his shoulders and was practically in his lap as she tried to make her point.

"Well, just to make sure we are clear, and so that you are not confused by the environment of my profession, I, Lorelai Leigh Gilmore, aka Rory, love you, Mr. Jess Mariano." As the last of his name came off of her lips, she leaned down and kissed him, a passionate kiss, full of love and lust equally.

Jess lost himself in the memory of what the did after she told him, how he felt hearing those words come off of her lips with security and assuredness, the same way that she approached most things in life. The immense sensuality that she had, even as far along in this pregnancy as she was. His imagination took him through the memories one by one. It had been an amazing five weeks. The woman he loved, loved him back and they were working their way toward a life together and a little family.

Jess knew that things were going to change once the baby came. He knew the stresses and demands of motherhood would make things different for them. But he had faith that it would all turn out well, that they were well on their way toward happily ever after. If anyone deserved it, it was him and Rory. After all they had been through to get back to where they were, Dean, Logan, Dean, who knows who else, Logan and fifteen years in between, it was their time.

"Down here it's our time, It's our time down here…" he spoke out loud and laughed as he recalled that they were lines from the 80's cult classic Goonies, they had watched last weekend.

It was their time, it was finally their time.


End file.
